Tomorrow is Max's fifth birthday. Five of his friends are coming over for his party. He doesn't know if he should wear anything.

(Sorry. That might have been a typo. Maybe I should have written "special" after "anything"? Let's try that.)

Tomorrow is Max's fifth birthday. Five of his friends are coming over for his party. He doesn't know if he should wear anything special.

(Hmm. Never mind. Ignore the paragraph above.)

He asked his mommy if he should wear a tuxedo. She said of course not, which was confusing because she always made him wear tuxedos for special days.

His sister, Sara, was listening and laughed and said he should wear his birthday suit. Mommy told her to shut up. Then Max got mad at his mommy because his mommy said a bad word.

(If you don't know what a birthday suit is, then you're either too young to be reading this, or too bad.)

He asked his Daddy what a birthday suit was, since his sister wouldn't tell him. Daddy's face turned red and he got mad. (As in really, really mad. Like so mad he said something that is not fit for the ears of a child turning 5.) Sara had to go to her room. Max thought Daddy was being weird. What you wear to your birthday party is not a good thing to be mad about, so Max didn't ask Daddy for his suggestion.

He went to his older brother Tad's room and asked him. Tad said he should wear a dress. Max wondered if that was a good idea, since, after all, he didn't have any dresses. Then Tad said he should wear a pantyhose.

Max decided he should ask Sara what pantyhose were since Mommy was being bad and Daddy was acting weird. It sounded like a funny word.

When he asked her, she got mad and asked if he had been snooping in her diary. He asked her, what does snooping mean? She slammed the door in his butt.

(Wait a minute. That might have been a typo too.)

In the end, Max decided to wear neat clothing that wasn't a tuxedo. It worked out well, except all throughout the party he kept wondering what a pantyhose was.