Author's Note: This is me being emotional. This is my second real attempt at poetry. Even if it turns out that I'm not very good at this type of writing, I really do like it. It's such a great way to vent. Reviews are nice and any writing advice will be greatly appreciated.

You're a Cage

You're a cage, mother

and I love you

but I can't handle it,

because every time you tell me you want to die

a part of me dies as well.

Don't you see how it makes me feel?

Of course you don't

because I smile.

I act apathetic.

You're sad enough for the both of us

and I have to be strong because you're not.

I'm not strong either, but I have to be.

Inside, I'm suffering too.

You're a cage, mother.

A cage with a simple lock.

I have the key

but I won't use it.

I can't,

because you can't live without me

and I love you

even though being around you sometimes

makes me wonder what I'm living for.

You're a cage

that locks away my independence.

I dream of flying, but I can't leave my nest

Your cage is all I've ever known.

Could I even survive on my own?

I love you

but you want to die.

I tiptoe around your sensitivities.

What about me?

What about my life?

I love you, but I just want out of this jail

Within me, is the spirit of a bird

soaring above humans and all their traps and cages,

all their entrapment.

Why do you always cry?

Why do you want to die

when I always smile at you,

for you,

and give all of myself and my freedom for your happiness.

You're a cage, mother

and though this cage is all I know

I want something more.

I need it.

Release me.

Help me.

My guilt,

My feeling of responsibility.

I don't want to be selfish

All I ask for is my freedom.

Can't I have that much?

What is independence like?

I don't want to be alone.

I don't want you to die,

but birds weren't meant to live in cages

They were given wings to fly.

You're a cage, mother

and I love you.

I know you need me

because even I'm not near enough for you,

but I need me as well.

I am me.

I don't belong to you.

I just let you cage me cause I'm all you have.

You're suicidal

and it hurts me.

Your constant threats of ending everything

that you never act on

that I fear you someday will.

Don't die. Don't die. Don't die.

But I can't save you while I'm in this cage.

I can't even save myself

so don't ask this of me.
I'm already giving you so much.

My fake smiles and reassurances are all I have for you.

You're a cage, mother.

I love you

but I'm a prisoner of you and my own will.

"I hate my life,

I just want to die."

Your regular running mantra

that tears me up inside

and kills me.

I love you

and I know you love me

but you're a cage mother,

and it hurts that you can't see that,

That you can't save yourself.

I can't save both you and me

but I'm terrified of what choice I know I'll make.

Because, I don't know independence.

All I know is you

and your suffocating cage.

You're slowly killing me

the same way you're slowly killing yourself

and you don't even see it.

I love you, mother

but you cage me

and right now

I can't see a way out.