File 01 - Tammy - Helpless

watch your thoughts, they become words

I remember Mr. Aim saying it once.

Watch your thoughts, they become words.

I always thought that he just said that, but now I understand.

Thinking that I hated my sister, Tianna... I accidentally told her one day.

I wish that I never did, because I am who I am now.

"Come on, sis. Could you tell me your answers?" asks Tianna.

"No!" I scream at her.

"Please, Tammy?" she pleads.

"NO." I'm final.

"Tammy, you can tell her a few answers," my mom tells me.

"Or you can just help her," my dad adds.

"NO WAY!" I scream. "I HATE TIANNA!"

I notice what I had said. I hate Tianna. They were words I never wanted to tell. They were the words I wish I never thought.

They were the words that meant the truth.

I gasp at what I say and run off, wondering how I can apologize to nine year old Tianna. I never meant to say that I hated the fact that I had to give her aid with her homework just because I was a bit smarter and a lot older.

You can't erase things from one's memory, unless you give one amnesia.

That's what Mr. Aim had also said.

I never figured out what he meant, considering it was a quote.

Never.

watch your words, they become actions

The continuation of Mr. Aim's advice.

Watch your thoughts, they become words.

Watch your words, they become actions.

"What does that mean?" I wondered aloud.

My classmate, Vince[nt], looked at me. "You do understand that making that wondering face makes me vulnerable," he told me. "What's on your mind, Tammy Hammy?"

Ah, that nickname. Tammy Hammy. I didn't know why Vince[nt] would always call me that.

At the time.

"Well, it's Mr. Aim's saying," I explained. "'Watch your words, they become actions.' I understand the first line, but not the second. Tell me, Vince. What does it mean?"

"You've never experienced it?" he asked. I shook my head. "You need to. It's important to your life."

"Just tell me, what does it mean?"

"Be careful what you say, you'll do something because of it, I think." He smiled. "I can explain it in better words if you'd like."

"Sure."

"I love you."

"Huh?"

"I'll repeat it as many times as you want me to. I. Love. You."

I blushed (probably) as red as a tomato. "You...love me."

Vince[nt] nodded. "I want you to be mine." He sighed. "I'm eating lunch at the mall. Wanna come?"

"Sure..." I murmured.

When I got there, he didn't have food. He didn't even have money. He just wanted to hang out with me.

Or rather, kiss me until I was ready to faint.

I understand what Mr. Aim's words mean.

Watch your thoughts, they become words.

Watch your words, they become actions.

Be careful in life. That's what his quote means.

Or does it?

watch your actions, they become habits

It's the truth.

Watch your actions, they become habits.

Yet another part of Mr. Aim's little saying.

I was always playing soccer with my twin brother, Tyler.

But that was until I broke my leg one time. It didn't heal for an entire two months.

Tyler completely forgot that we played soccer and stopped participating in Gym Class. He began to play and write music, instead. He always wrote sad, depressing songs that didn't fit who he acted like.

Big brother Tyler.

He's completely changed.

He wrote more and more of the gloomy tunes.

Big brother Tyler.

It's like he's in another world where you're dead.

We all got worried if he was depressed.

Big brother Tyler.

He might commit suicide.

That's what made us even more upset when Tianna said that. She wasn't even supposed to know what suicide was.

But she did.

"Felo-de-se...oh! Felo-de-se! It's time for the end."

That was the end of one of Tyler's (still) mopey songs.

Watch your thoughts, they become words.

Just like when I looked up felo-de-se, I found out it meant suicide.

Tyler was trying to end his life? Or trying to end suicide?

Whatever the reason, felo-de-se kept on appearing in his songs.

Watch your actions, they become habits.

That meant that he might commit suicide, right?

I sure hope not.

watch your habits, they become your character

Stupid Jackson!

I hate Jackson. He's the bully of the entire school. He usually tends to pull it off on me mostly, but he can't help it. Most bullies have a reason to taunt others, right?

Not Jackson.

He told my BFF, Reese. "The reason I'm mean? Ha!" he boasted. "I have no reason. I just wanna be mean, so I am mean. Ya got that?"

Reese nodded, a little scared.

But now, he's just going too far. He's just teasing me more and more about how it's my fault that Tyler is all demoralized.

Stop, Jackson, I continued to scream, JUST STOP!

But I was always yelling in my head. He never heard me tell him.

Suddenly, he halted. I was sure he was going to slap me when he brought his hand up. But he set it on my cheek and brushed a few strands of hair out of my eyes. He ran his palm through my hair, almost brushing it.

Jackson smiled mournfully. "I'm hopeless," his whispered so only I could hear. I opened my mouth to say something, but he silenced me with a kiss.

To be honest, I was shocked. Maybe he does have a reason, my conscience told me.

"Wanna know the real reason why I...I'm so mean to you?" he asked after the osculation...

I just nodded, unable to say anything.

"I...It's because of my mom...sh...she always ignores me...a...and I... always take it out on you...I...I'm sorry..." he murmured.

He continued. "I...I know that I've become famous as a bully...b...but I want to stop...I know you'll never forget those days where I was mean, but...I...I...I want to change."

"R-R-Really?" I stammered.

He nodded. "I want to change for your good."

Watch your thoughts, they become words.

Watch your words, they become actions.

Watch your actions, they become habits.

Watch your habits, they become your character.

So Jackson... really watched his habits, worried about his character.

What a good guy.

watch your character, it becomes your destiny

I'm trapped. Stuck in a hole, screaming for help but no-one's there to save me.

That's what Reese says she feels like.

"Reese," I said, "You're not alone. You have me, and our friends and family."

She began to cry.

"I'm so worthless...!" she wept.

"No, you're not, Reese..." I told her. "You're priceless."

Reese looked up at me. "Y...You really think so?"

I nodded, hugging her. "You're so precious not even the most rich man in the universe could buy you."

She hugged me back. "You know, you're cherished too," she murmured.

"What?"

"Jackson seems to stop hurting anyone nowadays. You two get along well, too. Did something happen?"

My mind flashed back to when he kissed me and promised me he'd change. "Yeah," I said, "He promised he'd change."

Reese smiled. "That's nice..."

I'm helpless.

That's what Mr. Aim's saying means.

Watch your thoughts, they become words

Watch your words, they become actions

Watch your actions, they become habits

Watch your habits, they become your character

Watch your character, it becomes your destiny

It means that we must be careful, or else we can ruin our lives.

It means we can't do anything...

I'm helpless.

A/N: Welcome to The Lost Files of Mr. Aim. It's the only series I plan to have a moral for because I don't have morals for any of my stories. Oh, and this is the only one in which it's actually one saying. Saw it on a poster, and decided to make a story with a moral for it. Quotation is Lao Tsu/Laozi's. I have one of his quotes for BIO (Bring It On) too, it just hasn't been put in it yet. I do have a Chinese proverb in it (Ch.6). No more of BIO. THANKS! THANKS FOR READING MINNA-SAN!