Author: Petra Arkanian PM
Or, The Unofficial Web Journal of an Underage Cynic. Every-day experiences explained and analyzed by someone who thinks too much. Update: diversity - can you crack the code?Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 4,605 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 03-28-13 - Published: 01-08-13 - id: 3090439
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Quote of the day: "I've heard a lot if irrational statements in my time, a lot of irrational arguments. But I've never heard of anything so irrational as pi."
A quick introduction. This is a place for me to comment on the things in society that don't make any sense. It's also a place for you to get to know me better (sounds fun, right? Naahhhhhh). Mentally, I always pull observations from the things that happen to me. So I decided to put some of these thoughts in print. You may comment whatever you like; the good, the bad, the ugly, the totally unrelated. Hopefully this will be fun for both of us.
Really, there is nothing better to do in the shower than stand around reading the backs of your shampoo bottles - there are 27 letter words on those things you know. And yes, I did count. So I'm standing there reading the label on my "shower gel" (we can't call it body wash anymore, I guess, because it might offend all those disembodied heads that use the product), and it says some very interesting things.
First, if you use this shower gel, your skin will become soft and "touchable." Oh! Good! That's exactly what I've been needing! Because lately I've noticed these flaming spines that rise up all over my arms, and nobody wants to touch me anymore! ...Okay, why does Bath&Body Works assume that I want people touching me? Because I'm touchable? Maybe it appeals to the romantic crowd. But don't worry, it gets weirder.
Next thing, it's telling me that the scent of my shower gel is based on lush strawberries and something about coconuts and vanilla vibes and are inspired by the way love sweeps you off your feet. I'm sorry, but I've never been swept away by a vanilla bean before. And since when did love smell like strawberries and coconuts? If you ask me, it has more to do with adolescent males who think it's cool to wear Axe, which does not smell as pleasant as strawberries.
On the bright side, now I smell like a tropical island who's gearing up to sweep you off your feet.
Who falls for this stuff? Is anyone really going to buy a shower gel just because it reminds some crazy lab dude of being swept off his feet? What is the point of this whole paragraph on the back, anyway? I'd like to know what is going through the minds of the people who write this stuff. I desperately hope they don't think we're that stupid. I should boycott this shower gel. It's offensive!
If I produced shower gel, I would fire the team of writers who come up with this stuff, save myself some money, and slap a "strawberry coconut vanilla" sticker on the front. If I produced shower gel, I would call it body wash, even if I got slapped with a lawsuit by those disembodied heads.
Do you think paragraphs like these are a good use of a company's money? What scent is your shower gel? Does it smell like love sweeping you off your feet? Does anyone really know what that smells like?