I think love is a made up theory to get people to fuck
And i think hoes that make duck faces look like ducks
Im always being told ima bitch because im blunt
But im blunt because all i do is smoke weed for fun

I believe in evil people and evil ideas
I believe that heaven begins beyond the atmosphere

I get tired of people calling me an idiot
So when im sad i pull out my razor and cut my wrist
My family talks a lot so there's no point in trying to hide it
Im so fucking sick of everybody being in my fucking business
My skin is black so the scars are very apparent
I wish the wounds would never heal because i like the look of it

I wish i had better memories of my childhood
And i wish i could dictate my unfortunate kidulthood

What i project to people is what i want them to see
I hate my face and i hate my body in reality
I hate that people ask me whats wrong when i finish crying
I hate how my eyes are weak, pathetic and dying
I hate the way my stomach feels after im done smoking
I hate it when my knees hurt because i injured them fighting

Usually i want things that i cant have
Usually people find me to be a drag
Usually i like being outside at night
Usually i panic when something doesnt go right
Usually when im out i wear a jacket
Simply because i dont want people to see whats under it

Im fucking disgusted with myself all the time
I get sleepy just thinking about all the shit that goes on in my mind
I feel guilty when i have a dirty dream
So i try to forget it like it never happened

Im fucking tired of feeling like burned trash
Sometimes i wonder if God built me to last
Right now i feel like nothing can ever help me
I feel like feeling so horrible about myself will always be my destiny
I often think about killing myself
But i dont think im ready to die just yet
Im the type of person to cower in a time of need
I just do what everyone expects of me

Im a sadistic liar, i tell myself im beautiful
I really just want to shave my head and cut all my skin off
I honesty dont think beauty is only skin deep
But no matter how i look at it i'll always be ugly

I hate that im smarter than other people
And i hate that i think im smarter than other people
What if im ugly AND stupid?
I dont think that i could manage

All i think about is how depressed i feel
Its crazy because i know that others have it much worse than this
I try to tell myself my life isnt so bad
And it isnt, i just dont understand why im always so sad
Why does smoking and cutting make me feel better?
My quick fixes are becoming shorter and shorter

Right now i dont feel like writting anymore
Im gonna go listen to All We Know is Falling and be a parawhore