Having a crush can be hard. You have no clue whether or not she likes you, how she'd respond if you ask her out, and how it'll affect your potential friendship. Sometimes you also have the issue of not even knowing if she has a boyfriend or not.

The one thing worse, though, is when you're friends with her, and she doesn't even know how you feel. You might not hang out much, but for the times you do see each other, you both enjoy talking and just being together. But you yearn for more, and it kills you not being able to tell her. You aren't necessarily friend-zoned, but you don't want to jeopardize what you do have already.

Drama class can be really hard for me because of this. I sit right next to this girl named Lucy, and I've had a crush on her for a few years. I usually have drama at least 3 days a week. I try to talk to her as much as I can without seeming like I'm trying to do so and be creepy. I often feel ignored by her, but sometimes she starts the conversation, and that to me is perfect.
That's not unique to her, though. As a person that often feels left out, when someone takes a legitimate interest in me, or someone that I'm not super close to asks me some question about what I'm up to or about my life, just for the sake of talking to me, it makes me really happy.

Another issue that comes from being so head-over-heels is that your life starts to seem to revolve around her. For me, it's gotten to the point where every girl (and sometimes guys) I plan to talk to, I almost call Lucy by accident. When she isn't in school, or I don't have drama, I get upset because I won't get to see her. At night, I just lay in bed wishing she was with me (not in bed with me, but… you know, that she was my girlfriend).

Things aren't so hopeless though. The fork in the road will always have a positive path. You just need to take the right one.

Here's an example: it was a Thursday in the middle of January. Next week we had midterms/finals for the classes that apply. For some reason, this leads us to having half days all next week. I'm missing the connection, but I don't complain. It means I can hang out with my friends—something I'm not able to do when it's a day off, because of my social/mental block. It also means that I can hypothetically go on a date.

So why not? It was the end of the day. The bell rang, so we all packed up our bags and left the drama classroom. The class was rather lax, and we spent a lot of time talking about Shakespeare's many love quotes. I found that rather poetic… no pun intended. When the bell rang, we all exited the classroom into the hall, ready to do… whatever the rest of the day had in store for us. But before I did that, I had an important mission.

"Hey Lucy?" I called. She walked over to me. "I was wondering if… you'd like to go out with me next week? Cuz, like… y'know… there's half-days, so…."

"Um… maybe," she said. "I'm not sure she, but I'll see if I can."

"Alright, cool, " I smiled. "Just tell me when you know."

"Ok. See you later!"

My heart was pounding from excitement. I walked home, and let out a gleeful "HOOOOLLLLLYYYYY SHIIIIIIIITTTT!"

She didn't say no! I'm not sure how, but she did not say no!

Obviously, I knew it wasn't a yes. But from her body language, I could tell that her "maybe" was honest and legit. It wasn't a fake maybe to get my hopes up or to not make me feel bad. She was 100% clueless about her ability to do so!
Which means I might have actually had a shot! I was super happy.

Then I just kind of collapsed onto my bed and took a quick nap. Tense things were coming in my future.