Chapter First Kill

James had told me a few weeks after we met that vampires go after their families first. They go after the blood that is most similar to theirs in an attempt to stay themselves. In an attempt to stay human. First, they go to their families for comfort. And then they get it in their heads that, somehow, they can still be a part of that family even after they have been rejected. And so they drink the blood, thinking that this will make them themselves again.

It doesn't.

I knocked on the back door, like I had always done when I was alive when it was past ten o'clock at night. I was scared. I had woken up in my coffin in my best dress and screamed for over an hour, trying to get out. I had eventually. I had managed to kick the top open and claw my way through the dirt. I had run home. And now here we were.

Mum had opened the door. She had stared at my pale mud covered face and, when dad had called down to her who it was, she fainted. Dad had come down when she didn't answer, obviously worried. He had seen me standing in the doorway and, as the mind tends to do, tried to rationalise the situation to the best of his ability.

And that rationalisation led to the thought that I couldn't possibly be his daughter.

I must be impersonating her.

"You think this is funny?" he said, picking up mum and placing her on a chair in the living room. "You think this is funny!?" He was shouting at me. He walked towards me, his teeth grinding together and his eyes narrowed into a glare. I stumbled back.

"Dad," I whimpered.

His fists tightened and I saw tears enter his eyes. "You little bitch," he growled. "Get out of my garden! Get out!"

I had tears falling down my face and sobs forcing themselves out of my mouth as I ran from that place. I ran to the park where I had always used to go when I was angry at my parents and sat on top of the monkey bars. I stayed there, crying to myself until my stomach growled.

I smelt the blood of someone walking by and gulped to myself, forcing my body not to react. I clenched my stomach and tightens my arms around myself, feeling the need to be sick. I stared at the ground, not wanting to see the face of someone I was considering as food.

I wanted to throw up. Be sick. Hurl. I felt tears filling my eyes again at the horrible realisation of what I had done. I had ruined my life. I had commited suicide and this was my punishment. I would have to live forever, missing my best friend and having no one there to comfort me.

I took to walking around the park for another hour or two until it was midnight. I just wanted to go home. I couldn't stand being alone. I found my feet walking themselves home and I did nothing to stop it.

All the lights were turned off when I got there. I tested the front door but it was locked shut. I tried the windows and the back door too but everything was locked. I looked up. I saw the chimney.

I just wanted to go home.

I climbed on top of the gate in the garden, balancing so well that it should have bothered me but I didn't find myself worrying about that at the moment. I pulled myself up onto the top of the shed and jumped onto the back-porch roof. I was in front of my mums and dads room. The curtains were closed and so were the windows but I could hear my mother sobbing inside. I felt guilt for a minute and then shook my head, trying to dispel those thoughts as I pulled myself up onto the roof.

I carefully made my way up the slates and towards the chimney. Then I carefully and silently lowered myself down.

My room was downstairs. Ever since Miles had been born, I had slept downstairs because there wasn't enough room upstairs and, in the first few years of his life, I couldn't stand the screaming at night.

I entered my room and found that not a single thing had been changed. I realised suddenly that I didn't know what the date was. I didn't know when I had died and when I had been buried. I didn't have a clue how long I had been dead for.

I tried not to think about that too much as I opened my wardrobe to find clothes to change into. I pulled out some skinny jeans and a black hoodie. I quickly changed into them and filled a rucksack with some of my clothes, my laptop, my phone and anything else that I thought I would need from now on. When it was full, I looked around my room and thought about how I just wanted to take everything.

The smell of blood filled the air.

I pushed my hunger away.

I sat down on my bed and leafed through the pictures in my photo album. As soon as I saw her I closed it and tried not to cry as I felt a hollowness fill my chest.

I lay down and hugged the teddy bear that mum had gotten me for my second birthday close to my chest. I decided that maybe I should take another bag and so I put my bear in it along with the photo album and a few other things.

I left my room and walked into the kitchen. There was still food on the table and I took to attacking it with the hunger of a bear. But still, it wouldn't fill me up. I sighed and decided to stop eating. It wasn't doing me any good anyway.

I walked into the living room where I had seen mum faint just a few hours ago. I sat down on the couch and was surprised to see something move out of the corner of my eye. I moved faster than I had ever moved in my life and took hold of it. I was surprised to find I was holding the scruff of Ray's neck. He meowed gently at me in confusion and I smiled at him, putting him back down on the couch and letting him lie on my lap.

I had an epiphany.

I wanted to keep all my stuff. I wanted to keep Ray and I wanted to not be hungry anymore. And there was the delicious tang of blood floating through the air. I licked my lips and moved the cat to one side. I stood up and walked out into the hallway.

I was standing outside of my parent's room. I could hear my dad snoring and my mother breathing deeply.

It was over fast.

I felt sick afterwards as I saw them, lying in their bed on blood stained bed clothes. I felt tears staining my cheeks again and I quickly left the room, wiping my arm over my lips and walking towards the bathroom. I brushed my teeth.

I wanted to get rid of the taste.

I washed my face to get rid of the blood.

Then I looked down at my hands and scrubbed them until it was my own blood covering them. I gripped the edge of the sink and looked at myself in the mirror. But I didn't see myself. I saw a monster.

The sink cracked under my hands and I looked down. There was no longer blood on my hands. No scars from where I had scrubbed them. There was just a broken sink.

"Jo?"

I whipped my head towards the door and saw miles standing there, rubbing his eyes rid of sleep. He yawned.

"Mommy said you went to heaven."

I felt sick for a moment when he said that. I had just killed them. I had killed them. They were dead.

I gave him a strained smile.

"I came back," I said. "I wanted to go on a big adventure with you, M."

He grinned at me with his sleepy eyes and then yawned again. "That sounds so cool, Jo. Did you ask mommy?"

I nodded. "Yeah, she said we should because you've been doing so well at school."

He smiled again and then looked at the sink. "What happened to the sink?"

"It broke."

"Oh."

"Why don't you go and pack a bag, M? Mum said we could take the car so I'll go and put all of my stuff in and come back for yours, yeah?"

"And then we'll say goodbye to mommy and daddy?"

"…Yeah."

He went and packed his things. I quickly rushed into my parent's bedroom and tucked them under the covers so that the blood wasn't visible. Then I went downstairs and put as much of my stuff as I could into the car while still leaving room for all of Miles' things. I walked back into the house and almost went upstairs before remembering that my brother still needed food. I went into the kitchen and got all of the food from the cupboards and put it in the boot of the car.

Miles was waiting at the front door in new clothes. He helped me put all his stuff in the car and then we stood outside of mums and dads room.

My hand was on the door.

He looked at me.

"Jo?"

I pushed the door open and Miles smiled. He raced towards the bed and jumped on to wake them. I closed my eyes, trying not to cry.

"Mommy, we're going on an adventure!"

"Really, Miles? That's amazing."

I froze. I opened my eyes and saw my mum and dad sitting up straight on the bed. They looked at me.

"Jo, aren't you going to come and give us a hug goodbye?"

I hesitated and then nodded. I walked over to them and bent down to hug them both. They hugged me back and I almost burst out into tears again.

We said our goodbyes and I told Miles to go and get into the car whilst I got Ray. He did and suddenly there was a girl in front of me, smiling wildly.

"You're welcome," she said enthusiastically.

I was about to ask what I was welcome to and then realised. "My parents…"

"It was just a trick of the mind," she said, nodding her head over and over. "I thought you would need some help. You're new, aren't you?"

I nodded and looked over my shouldner, down the stairs at the front door. "I need to go."

"Can I come?"

I looked back at her. She must have been only a year younger than me. "Sure." She was about to walk away but I gripped her arm. She winced. "But if you hurt my little brother, I will kill you."

She smiled at me again and her eyes sparkled. "Not that I will but you wouldn't be able to even if I did. Remember? You're new."

I watched as she walked down the stairs with wide eyes and quickly rushed to get the cat so Miles wouldn't be left alone with her for long.

When I got to the car, she was sitting in the seat behind me.

"Who's that?" Miles whispered, although I'm sure she could hear him anyway.

I looked at her as I passed him the cat and she grinned, looking at him with those sparkly eyes.

"I'm Alice."