I was seven years old and it was raining that night…

"You! You let this-this monster live!" My father pointed at me as I sit there trembling in a corner. My mother tried to calm my father down but she got replied with a slap on her face. "You are such a worthless whore! If I had known you will bore a child full of troubles, I would have left you long before!"

My mother touched her face where she got slapped and stood up slowly as my father kept yelling curses. I hid my face so that I won't see. I closed my heart so I won't feel. I covered my ears so I won't hear. Yet, the sounds of their yelling still reached me. 'Make them stop…' I thought as the tears kept flowing down my face. I peeked from behind my hair and saw my mother grab our family heirloom, an oriental sword, before she ran to my father and slashed his forehead before piercing his heart.

My mother had that blank look on her eyes as she looked haughtily at my father and said. "YOU are a bigger monster than my child ever was." My father coughed up blood, ruining my mother's dress with it. Blood. There was so much blood. All I could see is red. A red pool which made a small splash as my father's body fell to the floor.

"Okaa-chan…" I trembled a bit when she turned to look at me. She smiled and let go of the sword. My mother motioned for me to come closer. I ran to her and hugged her tight. "Okaa-chan!" I felt tears run down my face when she let go of me and walk out of the door with the sword on her hand.

I ran after her. Rain kept pouring down my face as I braved the storm just to chase after my mother. "O-Okaaa-chan!" I yelled. She finally stopped to look at me. I fell to my knees trembling and panting for breath.

"Don't leave, okaa-chan…" I felt my tears mingle with the rain as she squatted to my height. "I won't leave you, Haruna. You are not the monster people say you are. You were just acting on self defense right? Fuyune said you stabbed the man because he started touching you." My mother touched my cheeks lightly before grabbing my hair roughly. "Okaa-chan!" I tried to scream but my voice left me when my mother pushed to sword to my neck.

She sliced my neck open as my screams turned to gurgles of blood. "I love this family that's why we should all be together when we go to heaven." My mother smiled as she laid me down on the wet ground. The rain stopped but the lightning was still there.

I remember looking at my mother as she started removing her feet one by one before dismembering her left arm. With only one hand left, she pushed the sword to her neck and said, "I love you." before committing Seppuku.

I felt like I was dead. I stared at my own pool of blood and kept thinking that it looks like clouds. I cannot move. I cannot speak. I cannot feel. I cannot hear. I got my wish. It stopped. The pain and despair is gone. I was just lying there, staring at my own blood until I saw somebody get reflected onto my pool of blood.

"Haruna-chan!"

"Stay back Fuyune! This is a scene not intended for the eyes of children!"

"But I need to see Haruna! I got to help her! Haruna! Stay in there! Hang on! I'm going to save you!"

"Fuyune… Stop. We don't even know if she's alive…"

"I DON'T CARE! I NEED TO SEE HARUNA!"

"FUYUNE!"

I just stared at my pool of blood until I saw Fuyune get reflected on it. "Haruna-chan? Hang on. You are going to be okay." He touched my shoulder lightly before somebody grabbed him roughly and he tried to break away.

"Let me go! Haruna needs me!"

I saw a gloved hand enter my vision. "S-She's still alive! Let's get her to the hospital!" An unfamiliar voice yelled. I saw Fuyune enter my vision again but this time I cannot hear what he was saying. I just stared as he opened and closed his mouth trying to say something to me while he was being held back by the police. I remember smiling before I closed my eyes entering a world of darkness.

'The mad queen is here! The mad queen is here!'

I looked around the carriage and sat back contently. It was just a dream. The Gentleman in front of me and the Lady wearing a veil sat unmoving as the carriage stopped and we got out. The Gentleman offered me one of his hands and I jumped down. We are in the circus. I smiled happily and looked at the two of them as we entered our little box near the center of the circus tent and looked at the show.

There were two performers that had their intestines out and are swinging back and forth with just their organ. I laughed with glee when the circus master announced "And today we are honored to have the Mad queen in our presence for today!"

I stared as the circus master asked for a volunteer and a man wearing glasses volunteered. I heard the door open and another man with a bright aura but looks like a drunkard walked in. He bowed before us. "I need to talk to the mad queen." He said as he looked at the gentleman.

I glared at him. "We're busy!" I said before looking back at the scene where the volunteer stopped for a moment before entering the magic box. "It is something very important." The weird man said and I saw the gentleman whisper to the veiled Lady who in turn gave a nod. "You may speak to the queen after the show is over." The gentleman said while I giggled as another volunteer was picked out and pointed the fire thrower to the magic box which by now is pierced with so many swords and is now spurting blood.

The door opened again to distract me from the show. I looked to the door's direction and saw a young girl jump down from the ceiling and bowed. "I need to speak to the Mad queen." The girl said and I let out a whine. "Not another one!" She looked at me with surprise before glaring at the drunkard.

The gentleman took my hand and said to the intruders. "The Mad queen shall speak to you after the show is over. For now, kindly stay quiet so that we may enjoy the show."

I turned back to the show and saw Mother When's box being engulfed with fire. A bright aura from the box flared and I watched with fascination as Mother When screamed with pain. From the center stage, I heard a gunshot. I turned to look at the happenings and saw the circus master pull a bullet from his arm and say something before throwing it. I turned around and got ushered by the gentleman to the secret exit.

Inside I was laughing with delight. Such a turn of events! Wonderful! The wax king sure makes everything INTERESTING.

I got snapped out of my trance when another man with bright aura joined us and the drunkard pointed at the young girl yelling, "SHE'S THE MAD QUEEN!"

"I'm not! HE'S LYING!" I saw the young girl glare at the man and try to turn into an animal. Somehow she lost control and panicked, turning into a small rat instead. I watched as the rat scurried away with the Blind Knights following closely behind. The gentleman tugged at my arm and I got into the carriage with the drunkard and the other bright guy.

We reached the castle and I played in the castle room with a small brush on my hand. The soldiers brought in the bright guy and I squinted my eyes at it and threw my brush at it. "Dummy!" It turned back to being a log and I lost it. I had a temper tantrum.

"I hate it! I hate it! The wax king is always doing this! He's always making a fool of us! I want it gone! I hate it!" I continued ranting and stomping my feet until the Gentleman grabbed me and said. "That is enough." He said something that made me smile and nod. He finally let me go and…

…I woke up. It was just a dream. Everything is so bright. I looked around and saw myself strapped with so many equipments. I sat up and saw bright carnations on the vase beside my bed. I smiled. 'Fuyune…'

The nurse opened the door and saw me awake. She ran away and came back with the doctor. The doctor is a nice lady who asked me how I feel or if I felt hungry. I said I was fine and she took my vital signs.

I was in a coma for a month.

Fuyune ran into my room, out of breath as he greeted me so enthusiastically that the nurse warned him to not stress me. I grinned. Turns out he visited me every day after I was found to the brink of death at the small clearing.

The doctor told me that I need to rest for at least a week. During those times I took the hobby of sewing. One day, I asked Fuyune for a favor. "I want to go out." He looked at me with shock and nodded. "I will sneak you out Haruna!" He carried me outside to the small garden near his house and we sat there until nightfall.

I suddenly felt sad and turned to Fuyune. "Fuyune-kun… Give me your hand." He held out his hand and looked curiously as I took out my sewing kit and got a small red thread. "What is it?" He held out his index finger as I knotted the red thread around his finger.

"This is a Forget me Knot. It is so that you won't forget about me." I touched the bandage around my neck and cut the end of the thread.

"What do you mean Haruna-chan?" He looked at me but I turned away. I started walking back to the hospital. "I'm so sorry Fuyune-kun… But I want to forget…" I felt my tears run down my face as I left Fuyune.

A few days later, my grandmother took me away to USA. I took my family heirloom and always hid it at my back, inside my school uniform. I never saw Fuyune-kun again.

During those times in the USA, I was emotionless but grew up to be a very beautiful teenager. My grandmother passed away while I took on the job of being a model. I tried every sports there is and excelled. I am at the top of my class yet… Whenever people describe me, they describe me as beautiful yet… Lifeless. I was just that. A living doll. I left my emotions and love back home. With Fuyune. I don't know what happened to him. He did not even say goodbye to me.

Here I am now, seventeen years of age. I am on my way to my hometown. Kyoto. It's been ten years since I left. I wonder how Fuyune is doing now? Maybe he forgot about me already…

I looked outside my limousine and saw the moon peeking out. I got out and stared at my old home for five minutes before my butler asked me what is wrong. I shook my head and walked into the house. It was in complete disrepair. I visited the place where my father died and saw the bloodstains to be still there. I smiled bitterly at the memory before walking out.

"Let's go to the city. I had enough time here, Elliot." My butler nodded and we made our way to the city. When we reached the outskirts, I saw many people gathered at the sea with lanterns on their hands. A small memory flashed through my eyes.

"Come on Fuyune! Just one picture! Don't be such a baby!" I stuck tongue out at him and smiled with a camera at the ready.

He shifted from foot to foot and rubbed his head. "Aa… I don't like pictures. You know that I always look bad." He frowned a bit at me and I grinned.

I made a puppy dog eyes at him and pouted. "Aww… Just this once?"

He looked away for a second before saying. "No." He had that look again on his eyes. That stubborn look.

I smiled and flashed the camera. "Smile!" I took a picture of him as he looked at me. I laughed as he chased me.

"Gah! Haruna-chan! I was not even ready!" He panted and sat down on the ground beat. I sat down beside him and showed him his picture. I laughed at his expression. "Oh suck it up Fuyune! You look so cute!" I smiled at him when he blushed and looked away. "H-Hey Haruna?"

"Yep?"

"Want to make a lantern?"

That same day, we let go of our very first lantern together. He grinned at me as I watched it rose higher and higher into the air.

I got out of the car and approached a couple. "Excuse me? Why are you all here? Is there an event?" The guy stared at me while his girlfriend glared at him. "Ahh… No. We are just celebrating the death anniversary of some kid who went to save his friend or something." The guy blushed and I turned away. 'Men are all the same' I looked up at the flying lanterns and approached an old lady. "Excuse me obaa-chan? What is going on here?" I asked her nicely. She turned to me with a smile. "We are offering our prayers for that poor boy, Fuyune, I think was his name. The poor kid died trying to reach his little friend." I felt numb all over. "Fuyune?"

"Yes. The boy's name is Fuyune. Are you alright young lady?"

I ran away from the old woman and ran to Fuyune's home. It was abandoned.

I ran to the place where I left him and saw a small headstone there.

'In memories of the brave Fuyune,

A great friend and a great son.'

The date of death?

It was dated the day I left for USA.

All hopes of sleep left me that day.

The day that I learned of the dark past my dear friend… My best friend Fuyune has fallen into.

No…

I never really had any sleep but…

This is worst than all those nights…

'This is all my fault… I should've asked to stay… I shouldn't- I should have stayed with him… ARGH!'

I threw my wine glass at my reflection on the mirror.

I am a disgrace.

I stared at the cracks on the mirror and saw my lifeless eyes staring back instead.

A lifeless doll.

"Nothing but an empty shell."

I heard my grandmother talking with my uncle one night, a few days after we left. I walked downstairs slowly and eavesdropped on their conversation.

"You shouldn't have taken her Okaa-san. You should've let the mother of that-that MONSTER to take her away. Why did you put yourself in danger just because of that thing?!" My uncle slammed his hands down on the table. I peeked around the corner and saw my grandma smile at uncle.

She took both his hands and stared intently at his eyes. "Jace, she is nothing but a child. She is not a monster. Just because she murdered a full-grown man doesn't mean she is one. According to the people who saw, she acted on self-defense. Nothing more. Her heart is pure. She is a child."

My uncle sighed and looked away. I turned away too but stayed. "Her eyes are lifeless, Okaa-san. No child should possess that kind of eyes. It seems like she saw a lot of stuff that a child shouldn't have witnessed. I feel like whenever I stare at her eyes, I cannot see any soul there. As if, it is gone." I stared at my hands and saw nothing different.

I…have no soul…?

"What are you talking about Jace? You are rambling yet again. Maybe you need some more coffee. Your lack of sleep must be catching up to you." I heard the sound of glasses scratching together and the sound of water being poured on it while I considered returning back to my room. I stood up and started walking back.

"Maybe the girl is just in shock, Jace. Seeing that she witnessed the death of both her parents and her near-death experience, it must've taken a lot from the child." I heard the sound of somebody sitting down and sipping something.

I sat down on the stairs and listened some more. "No, Okaa-san… It is more than that… The girl… She saw some horrible things. Like the one I witnesse—"

BLAM!

I jumped at the sound of the something hitting the wooden table hard.

"That is enough, Jace! Do not speak like your niece has that sickness like you!" I ran upstairs to my room and pretended to sleep.

Sickness…?

I failed you Fuyune…

"Haruna-chan!"

I turned around and stared flatly at a senior in our high school. I am currently in middle school. Attending an elite school at the north, I don't get what is so good about the school. I already excelled in every sport they throw at me and at every subject they gave me.

My stare seemed to make him nervous for he started blushing and staring at his feet. For some odd reason, he reminded me of Fuyune.

Fuyune…

My cold heart turned at the thought of his name.

I just stared at the senior as he stuttered something before I turned around and left him behind blushing.

'She is very pretty…'

'Wow… I wish I had hair like that.'

'Her hair is pink...'

'Must've dyed it that way to get attention.'

'She looks like a princess…'

'No, she looks like a doll. Look at her eyes.'

'Yeah… You are right. It's blank.'

I ignored all the talk around me as I took out my drawing book and started walking down the hallway.

Stares… Why are they all staring at me? Is it because I am a monster? Or is it because I have no soul? Whisperings… Why are they whispering? Make it stop… I want it to stop…

Fuyune…

'Yes, that's it. now stare, a bit to the right… Perfect.'

I did what I was told while they took pictures of me while I hold a single red rose. I had my hair curled a bit and is currently wearing a little white dress and a big white hat. I held the rose to my heart as the light flashes continuously to take my picture.

'Try to give a bit of an emotion to your face, Haruna.' I smiled a little and closed my eyes so that it won't show my lifeless eyes. 'That's perfect!'

I opened my eyes again and stayed still as they put the white wings on my back and removed my hat. 'Now Haruna, your role is being an Angel who falls in love with Thanatos so try to give a bit more of emotions to your eyes. Reach out to the audience.' The director, a small middle-aged man turned around and yelled. 'I need Daisuke here! The leading doll needs her leading man!'

'What do you mean he's missing?!'

I started walking around the edge of the spring where we are shooting as the cameras kept on flashing to catch all my movements. I walked to look at the clear water and saw a guy behind me with horns. I stared flatly at him through the reflection of the water.

'So you are the "international doll sensation" that everybody is talking about.' I stood up and walked away. I got yanked back by my arm. I stared at his hand and then at him. 'Hey! I'm talking to you!' He glared at me and I just stared.

'Haruna! Give your face emotions! Remember you are love at first sight!' The director yelled. Daisuke let out an irritated sigh and glared at me. I just stared back with a blank face before closing my eyes and worked out an expression of love at first sight.

I saw Daisuke blush when I stared at him with my fake expression. The photographers went crazy taking pictures as I grabbed hold of the cloak he was wearing and stared at him with sadness

Fuyune… Why?

'See this?' Maria, my secretary, showed me the magazine with my picture on the front page. 'You are a star yet…' She turned to me with one brow raised. 'You look like you don't even care a bit about your fame.' I gave her my usual blank look and proceeded tracing a heart at the foggy window of the office.

I… want to go home…

…I feel like I'm a prisoner in this world…

'What is it?'

…I want to go back…

'That is a forget me knot…'

…I want…

'…it is so…'

…to enter…

'…you won't forget about me…'

…Mad city.