Author: Randomapples PM
Sakura thought her life would be normal at her new high school, however when being asked to save the world, nothing about her life will seem normal again- This story is pretty random and is written only for fun.I enjoy random humor so hopefully you will to! Enjoy :)Rated: Fiction T - English - Adventure/Humor - Words: 3,012 - Published: 01-22-13 - id: 3094485
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
I did this purely for fun. It's pretty random at times, so hopefully you'll enjoy it!
P.S I have some images I drew to go along with the story, unfortunately I can't upload them for a while... I apologize for my bad artwork at times :)
Sakura Mitsuo stared up at her academy's main hall in utter disbelief.
It towered over her like a giant, casting a mile long shadow across the front lawn. Her academy, WLR, divided the wealthy from the poorer middle class and everything else in between. Not only were the buildings, equipment and locations determined by the amount of wealth each student had, but their uniforms were decided as well. Students in Sakura's financial situation, (the working middle class) wore navy uniforms with a bronze star on the back of them. The wealthier students wore red uniforms, with a silver star on the back and the richest of the rich had the pleasure of wearing white uniforms with, no surprise, a gold star on the back of their uniforms. Needless to say, not only were each of the classes different, but they all kept to themselves as well.
"Sakura-chan!" called out RenRen Momoki, RenRen was Sakura's best and only friend since Sakura had moved to their island several weeks ago. They not only did everything together, but were basically inseparable. Wherever one of them went, the other followed.
Sakura turned to her best friend and exclaimed, "Renni', why is this big ass campus so divided?!"
"Because the rich are richer than us and want nothing to do with us. And I don't want anything to do with them!" said RenRen with a scowl.
Loud squeals suddenly erupted nearby; the two girls glanced behind them to see Ren Momisa, a popular and attractive tennis jock, walk up to greet his best friend Natsu (who was equally as popular). As usual, their large fan armada had also gathered, disturbing the quiet atmosphere.
RenRen sent Ren a menacing glare and spouted out in annoyance, "That's the guy I was telling you about! He's the one who stole my name!"
Sakura looked at Ren suspiciously, "He looks really familiar…."
"Of course he looks familiar! Those stupid fan girls of his post pictures of him all over our classroom! URG! THEY MAKE ME SO MAD!" RenRen growled, shaking her fist in the air.
Sakura snapped her fingers, "Aish! He's the one that made me late last week! Stupid idiot!"
"Really?!" RenRen asks surprised.
She turns towards Ren and screams at the top of her lungs, "DAMN IT NAME STEALER! SHUT YOUR FANGIRLS UP!"
Ren's left ear twitches at the sound of RenRen's nickname for him (it has become a subconscious habit); he whips around in search of her. Spotting the two girls on the other side of the fountain, his grin transforms into a scowl,
"I DIDN'T STEAL YOUR NAME!"
His armada of fans all squeal at the sound of his raised voice, Natsu sighed; he knew where this was going. Ever since 3rd grade, the two had always fought a pointless battle over their names.
"YES YOU DID!" RenRen screams pointing angrily at him.
"NO I DIDN'T! QUIT MAKING THINGS UP!"
Ren notices Sakura suddenly, he points at her just as frustrated.
"YOU'RE THE GIRL THAT RAN INTO ME LAST WEEK!"
"WELL OF COURSE I DID! YOU'RE WHISTLING SUCKED! AND LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS!"
"WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!" Ren screamed back.
Natsu approached them, "Forgive him….Mitsuo-chan. This has been occurring since 3rd grade."
Sakura blinked in confusion, "Oh…um, okay. Shoot! Renni'! We're going to be late!" Sakura grabbed RenRen's arm and begin to pull.
"I WASN'T DONE!" RenRen whined as Sakura started to hastily drag her away.
Sakura stood before her teacher nervously. She watched her teacher, Ms. Momosaki, pick up the zip block bag of black oil and glance it over.
"So," begin Ms. Momosaki. "Alice got to it again."
Sakura nodded sadly, "I don't know what it is, but she really likes destroying my homework!"
" Well I'm sorry Sakura-chan, but I need you to take this to the gold star building as punishment."
Sakura gapped in disbelief, "What?!"
"It's protocol," said Ms. Momosaki setting the bag of oil on the floor beside her desk.
" B-B-B-BUT YOU LIVE IN THE SAME BUILDING!"
" I know, sorry."
Sakura scowled, " You are not!"
Miss Momosaki grinned,
" You could tell?"
Sakura sent her teacher a glare before heading towards the supply room on their floor. Sliding open the door, Sakura could only groan at the sight of monstrous stack waiting for her.
" Jeez, how dare she take advantage of me like that! It reminds me of that anime I like, La Corda de Oro. When Kahoko has to carry all that shit. All I need now is for someone to run into me—" as if it was on cue, the extremely gorgeous soccer star of the Gold Star building, Kensho Takimora, toppled her over. The papers and books flew all over the hall.
" Damn it. . .it's gonna take forever to clean this all up. . ." Sakura whined.
" Why is a bronze student here?" Kensho muttered to himself, rubbing his head with his right hand.
Sakura glared at him and tried to push him off,
" Quite groping me!"
Kensho's entire face turned bright red, he scrambled off her. He awkwardly offered her his hand; Sakura grabbed onto it, but before she could pull herself all the way up, the sound of a girl squealing, made Kensho freeze. He released Sakura's hand without warning and bolted down the opposite hallway, shouting "Sorry!", as he sprinted away. Sakura fell back with a painful thud and glared at his retreating form,
"I am going to kick his ass the next time I see him!"
Sakura pulled herself to her feet once more and groaned at all the work she had to do.
Sakura bent down and started to gather some fallen papers, when a pair of feet startled her. Sakura glanced up at the owner.
" You're in the way," said the girl icily. Sakura recognized the girl from some of her extracurricular courses, both their classes often combined to form one mass seminar. The girl was very beautiful, with long shimmering purple hair and purple eyes. However, she had the icy tough girl vibe to her that not a lot of people liked.
Sakura gave her a flat look,
"Sorry, if you have a problem you'll have to complain to Takimora-kun," said Sakura sarcastically.
The girl looked at Sakura in mild surprise.
Sakura knelt down to continue picking up the fallen mess and asked, "Something wrong?"
"Aren't' you afraid of me?"
Her question had caught Sakura off guard, though the more she thought about it, the more it made sense. This girl wasn't well liked by the rest of the female population in their bronze star classes. All the other girls gossiped and talked trash about her, isolating her from everything they did. While most people believed it, Sakura was highly skeptical it was actually true.
Sakura noticed she was waiting nervously for her answer. She shook her head and smiled,
"No. I don't think you're as bad as those girls make you out to be. Besides, I like to get to know a person first before I make my mind up about them."
The girl was silent for a moment, taking in everything she had said. Surprising Sakura, the girl bent down and started to pick up the fallen items.
"Thanks for the help,"
Class 1-B looked in surprise when Sakura walked in with Mari Tsumori several days later.
" Sakura-chan?" RenRen asked apprehensively,
Sakura gave her best friend a reassuring smile, " Renni, is it okay if Mari hangs out with us today?"
Mari looked at RenRen nervously; RenRen could see how nervous she was, and couldn't help but relate.
The entire class watched RenRen break into a large grin,
" Sure! A friend of Sakura-chan's is a friend of mine!" she exclaimed enthusiastically.
In the depths of hell, the Devil sat eating a cup of Ramen. He had waited so long for this particular flavor to arrive, since it only came once a year and he couldn't wait to devour it.
However, before he was able to take another bite, a sudden poof caught his attention.
An very gorgeous sixteen year old blond haired boy landed in the Devil's Ramen.
The Devil snarled, " SPADE!"
Spade stepped out of the Ramen Cup and onto a ledge beside the thrown,
"Forgive me, master."
The Devil threw his Ramen to the ground in a tantrum.
" DAMN IT SPADE! IT WAS MY FAVORITE KIND! I ONLY GET IT ONCE A YEAR!"
Spade kneeled in apology.
The Devil stood and entered the elevator behind his seat and took the elevator down to the base of his throne.
He waited for Spade to effortlessly flip through the air and land beside him before speaking,
" I will if you bring me back a Shoeflower."
" Is that why you called me?"
The Devil paced to his giant calendar,
" No. I have a new job for you. God and I had no choice but to take our best agents for this Job. You must find this girl and bring her here!"
The Devil handed Spade a picture of Sakura pulling on a shirt over an appealing blue bra.
Spade looked at the picture un-phased.
" Yes sir," with that he disappeared.
Sakura finished drying her hands in the bathroom; before she could turn to leave, a loud splash tore her attention away. Looking up in the mirror she saw Spade standing in the toilet directly behind her.
Sakura whipped around and froze.
"Hello," he greeted.
When Sakura didn't answer Spade held up a sign and spoke,
" I am from Wal-Mart."
He glanced at her briefly before flipping to the next sign,
" I speak Portuguese."
Sakura gapped in disbelief when he flipped to another sign,
" I have Gonorrhea ."
Sakura's lower jaw dropped in stupor from his bluntness; she could feel her entire face burning in embarrassment,
"DON'T TELL ME THAT! AND WHY ARE YOU EVEN IN A TOILET?!" She screamed at him.
Spade flipped through several signs and then stopped to read the sign:
" It stimulates my sexual desires"
Sakura couldn't take it anymore, she felt like she was about to faint.
"WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THESE THINGS?!"
Spade flipped over another sign,
" I'm a stalker," he read.
" I CAN TELL THAT!"
Sakura screamed once more and burst out of the bathroom. Everyone in the hallway watched in confusion as she sprinted to her classroom.
Sakura slid the door to her classroom open with a loud thud and ran to RenRen's desk, where she and Mari were talking.
" Sakura-chan?" RenRen asked surprised. "What's wrong?"
She and Mari turned to their best friend in confusion.
" Hottie. . .pant stalker. . .pant from Wal-Mart pant speaks. . .Portuguese. . .pant in the toilet!" Sakura spat out trying to catch her breath at the same time.
RenRen and Mari looked at each other and then back at Sakura.
" What hottie from where in a toilet in Portugal?" They both asked Sakura, confused.
Sakura opened her sketch pad and started doodling, she then showed them her picture.
RenRen scratched her head, trying to understand her best friends doodle. Mari having somehow understood the doodle's meaning, asked,
"Is he still there?"
RenRen looked at Mari alarmed,
" YOU UNDERSTAND IT?!"
Mari merely nodded.
" I think he is," Sakura huffed out.
"Let's go then!" RenRen squealed in excitement. "I hope he's really friendly!"
All three rushed past Ren who was just about to enter their classroom,
"Hey! Don't run in the halls! You almost ran into me!" He called after them.
"SHUT IT NAME STEALER!" RenRen screamed back at him.
When the girls entered the bathroom, they found Spade waiting. He stepped out of the toilet and turned to face them; Spade flipped over another sign and read what it said.
"Can I play with you in the closet?"
"EEEEEEEEEEP!" RenRen squealed fainting, Mari caught her and turned to Spade with a scowl, her cheeks equally as red.
" Renni'! Wake up! We need you to be strong!" Sakura exclaimed dramatically shaking her friend.
"It's no use, Sakura. We'll have to carry her back. Here, I'll take her arms, you take her legs."
Sakura could only nod; she picked up RenRen's legs and helped Mari carry her out of the bathroom. Sakura glanced behind her to see Spade was following them diligently.
Girls all squealed and blushed at the sight of him. Frustrated, Sakura turned around and screamed,
"QUIT FOLLOWING ME!? WHY ARE YOU EVEN FOLLOWING ME?!"
Spade in one fluid motion grabbed her and then teleported them away.
When Spade and Sakura reappeared they had landed in the Devil's lair.
Sakura begin to continuously hit Spade to release her," Let me go!"
Spade held up another sign," Do you want a banana?"
" I don't want a Banana!"
Spade flipped over the sign, a picture of a Rubber duck was shone. Sakura hung her head in defeat, having finally realized that he had been reading what was on the signs the entire time.
Five black clothed Ninja dropped from the ceiling without warning. Sakura pushed Spade away and took down each ninja easily.
" I'm impressed you took down all my Ninja," said the Devil after he had appeared.
Sakura crossed her arms spouting:
" Their weapons were all made out of Paper."
" Damn it!" The Devil swore in anger; he threw his hair pick to the ground.
" Ninja of the Bathroom! Change your weapon material!" The Devil commanded in outrage.
Sakura merely blinked,
"Why are they 'Ninja of the bathroom'?"
The Ninja pulled apart their gee's to reveal colorful bathrobes. Sakura began to snicker; soon she was in a fit of hysterical laughter. The Five Ninja blushed in embarrassment.
"I do not see what is so humorous," commented Spade.
"How can you not?!" Sakura exclaimed, wiping away a tear.
She stopped suddenly, "You don't do you?"
Spade held up the picture of the rubber duck again.
The devil started to smirk,
"You find my best ninja hilarious? They could kill you, you know"
The Five Ninja nodded whipping out spatulas, now in chef uniforms.
Sakura gave them all a flat look,
"Let me guess, Ninja of the Kitchen. . ."
" Er. . .Yes! –But can you guess these?!" The Devil snapped fired up.
Sakura leaned towards Spade and whispered, "Why is he so pumped up?"
Spade answered knowingly, "Master enjoys outwitting people."
"Ah," responds Sakura in understanding.
The Ninja quickly changed into waiter uniforms,
" Ninja of the restaurant," answered Sakura.
" Change!" ordered the Devil.
The Ninja changed into business suits with brief cases.
" Ninja of the courtroom."
The Devil glared at Sakura," Damn you're good! CHANGE!"
" Ninja of the pool"
" Ninja of the classroom"
" Curse you! CHANGE!"
" Ninja of the grocery store,"
" Ninja of the pet store."
" Ninja of the vegetable gardens"
" Ninja of the White House."
"Didn't think you'd get that one. CHANGE!"
" Ninja of Wal-Mart"
" FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!—I-I mean FOR THE LOVE OF MYSELF!"
Sakura crossed her arms,
" Nin-ja, of the Ball-room." She said slowly.
The Ninja collapsed on the ground together in a heap, panting like crazy beside a tall pile of costumes. Exhausted from just watching, the Devil, took out a red cigar, he lit it and began to smoke.
Sakura pointed at the Devil and said matter-of-factly, "Smoking's bad for you!"
Without warning, another extremely attractive teen with spikey black hair flew over them and kicked the devil right in the face.
" She's right," he said.
Sakura stared dumbfounded as the sudden guest flipped backwards.
" DAMN IT SHO!" The Devil shouted.
Sho sourly smirked, "It'll kill you."
" I AM DEATH! I DON'T CARE!"
"Smoking's not cool dude."
God floated down casually, "My Companion is right."
God made the cigar explode in the blink of an eye.
"GOD! DAMN YOU!" Screamed the Devil.
While they argued Sakura took out her cell phone. She didn't have any signal, plus her 6th period was starting.
" We'll I'm just gonna' go. . .nice to meet you Cigar-san, God-sama, you guys, and Rubber duck-man-chan." Sakura said turning to leave.
" Hold it!"
Red chains appeared from the ground and wrapped around her, subduing her. The Devil rubbed his temples,
"I can't take this shit any longer; Girl! Do to unfortunate circumstances that we cannot discuss God and I have chosen you to defend the world and defeat the bad . . . .things from taking over the world."
Sakura blinked a few times before her bottom lip dropped.
" Spade my top operative, and Jumpy-Skippy kid over there are going to be your protectors. Well…actually Spade is; JSK is your advisor."
God put his hand on Sakura's shoulder,
" You see, Sakura-chan a very disastrous group of spirits has inhabited food and objects all over the world. Here on Tamaki-Taki Island they have inhabited bowls of Rice. You must defeat them; Cigar-san here will inform you of your daily missions through Spade. I will give you tools through Sho; with that settled good luck on your first mission."
God snapped his fingers and before Sakura could react, she disappeared.
When she reappeared, she landed on something hard. Sakura tried to sit up, only to bang her head on something in the process.
Sakura squinted open her eyes and found she was in a small room concealed in darkness, that was moving.