Mika: hey peeps! it's me! sorry for being such a sad lil' muffin in my diary but some chapters will be happy to...maybe! anyways i want to thank anyone thats reading this as you make my day! also please Review as it really makes me excited when someone does. and also thank you to my first Reviewer (they know who they are) they really made me feel grea if you want to ask me any questions feel free to do so as well!

I decided to stay home today.

Boring, I know, but it's dark and cold outside (like all English days) and I just didn't feel like seeing anyone. Not even my best friend Sam. Sam, now shes interesting, bubbly, happy, and weird but in a good way. Shes a person I can't help but connect with. She shares her problems with me, like how her father used to beat her and her mother, even how she get really depressed at the mention of his name.

Makes me wonder how she can keep up such a Mask?

How she can hide her real self behind a fake smile. But I guess in some ways we all do it. Pretend were someone that were not. I've become a master of trickery, someone who can change personality when I'm around certain people; even change my interests and the way I speak. I wonder what the real me is like. I change myself so much, that I'm not even certain of my own personality.

I'm such a messed up person, Haha.

Even today I put on my Mask.

My mum had some friend over, one of the nurses from the hospital, Ellen I think her name was. Anyway, my mum introduced me as a perfect child, with great grades and a happy personality, I knew I wasn't like that but I played along. Smiled when she made a joke, answered all her questions, nodded along to any story.

Weird, huh?

When she was gone I hurried to my bedroom and layed on my bed. I listened to Celine Dion (my Fav singer) and watched the Titanic till dinnertime. When I came down I was bombarded with questions

"Why do you spend so much time in your bedroom?" my Mother said, softly laying a roast on the table

I smiled and pretend to be interested in the piece of Quorn on my plate, once again masking my emotions

"I have a lot of work to do, Y'know with my GCSES and stuff…"

Lies.

"And my friends wanted to talk to me"

More Lies

She smiled and ruffled my hair

"You're so Popular!"

Haha, I know what you're thinking! Me! Popular! She really doesn't know me that well but I love her and her crazy ideas.

Hmmm…..So Diary, do you think I'm crazy? Confused? Just a normal teen? Is it weird to dream of the future with a great boyfriend and a group of amazing friends? I wonder all the time if it will ever happen, even when I go to bed at night, I make up little stories of what my life might be like. With a dog and a cat, a big house and a baby girl. But, I can never see what I'm like in the future, only the people around me.

So Diary…tell me, what do you think the real me is like?

Mika x x