I haven't slept after we spent the night together, the last few days since have been a blur of booze and women. These broads are nothing more than lowly tools in a futile attempt to validate myself, convince myself I have not been made effeminate by the likes of you. Hardly can I understand my own emotion, when you are away, I find myself longing for your companionship, although in your presence my overwhelming guilt drives me to flee. So much has come bubbling up, guilt, grief, humiliation, fear, confusion, and adoration. What if someone were to discover us? Would they make us dance on their strings to ensure that secrets remain secrets? Would they tell everyone? Would they label us freaks? Would we be arrested? Put in sanatoriums? Killed? I have Magda back in Berlin, and a child on the way, what if they were to find out? Would she reject me, keep me from my child? I dare say I adore, maybe even love you, but my loyalties are to them. Now, we're both men and we have our duties, yours to your family and mine to my family. We have expectations among us, and I am aware we are taboo, for that reason, my dearest Herschel, you must die. I have always held you in high affections, but since these affections have been consummated, I fear the both of us are beginning a descent into a downward spiral. I care for you very much, and I commit this only from love, as these affections will never wither. We can never be together, so you see, this is why I must…. end you myself. With your expiration, you and I can always be together, in perfect union. Nobody can label us anything, we will never have to fear again, never can we be touched, and forever we shall love.