Chapter 1: Newborn Phase

Everyone must choose one of two pains: The pain of discipline or the pain of regret. ~Jim Rohn

You should value your life, no matter what happens, good or bad. Live life to the fullest. God, I sound like a fortune cookie. Okay, I'll give it to you straight: make every day count and maybe you won't end up like me, Antoinette Drake. See, I'm a vampire now. Ironic, isn't it? I used to hunt those creatures of the night; now I am one. Funny. I don't remember signing up for this gig, but, hey, I was dying, so I kinda had no choice. Yeah. Now I have no heartbeat, I burn in the sun, and I have a bloodlust problem. Welcome to the newborn phase, Toni! Ugh. I took an unnecessary breath. Being a vampire, I didn't really need to breathe at all. But I wanted to. It kept me sane; kept me from blowing up on my vampire lover, Henri Sinclair, who was tending to the wounds of my human friend and snack, Ethan Frazer. I'd almost killed him, and deep down inside of me, I was freaking out. My senses were still adjusting to my new body functions. It was pretty cool. I could see, hear, and smell more. One scent overpowered my senses now though: blood. Ethan's blood on my lips. I groaned, my fangs threatening to come out. I resisted the best I could and dropped my head to the carpet.

"Antoinette." His voice hadn't changed. I didn't look up, but I heard him moving toward me through my heightened hearing. When he was close, I opened my eyes to look up at him.

"What are you doing?" There was true and utter curiosity in his voice. Henri got his knees and reached out, wiping the blood from it. He didn't lick his fingers, and I was grateful for that.

"Trying not to explode," I gritted out, trying to force the fangs back in.

"You're not trying very hard, are you?" Then he added thoughtfully, "Stop fighting your instincts. I know it hurts. It'll stop once you curve your hunger." Easier said than done, but he knew that too. He'd been through it before. All vampires had.

"Is Ethan okay?" I couldn't help but ask. Call me sympathetic; I won't correct you. Henri sighed his usual sigh and brushed my cheek with a pale finger. Was I as pale as him? What did I look like now? I wonder.

"He'll be fine. I healed the wound, so when he wakes up…" Henri frowned before continuing, "…he won't remember anything. He'll just wake up in your room." Like that wouldn't be awkward or suspicious.

"Henri, I didn't want to become a vampire. Why'd you do this?" No, why did Rinka do this? She was the one who'd bitten me; who drained me and turned me. Henri's sister was responsible. I met Henri's eyes, "Well?" In the depths of those black eyes, I saw a guy who would protect me. he was deep down in there; so deep, most people would never see it. I hadn't seen it at first.

"We had no choice, Toni. Would you have rather been turned by your uncle? The man who wanted to enslave you? To enslave mankind?" Okay, that was a little extreme, but…you never know.

"That doesn't make it right, Henri."

"You're alive. That's all that matters." I scoffed right away, "Uh, Henri, if you hadn't noticed already, I'm not alive. I'm undead. I'm a freakin' vampire!" Henri's gaze hardened, "And if you weren't a vampire, you'd be in the ground, your soul in heaven or Hell." With that, he got to his feet nimbly, like a cat. Such grace, I was stunned. And impressed. I followed Henri's movements (Not as graceful, of course; but I'm new at this so cut me some slack). Ethan was asleep on my couch, his neck completely healed. The sight of him made me swallow hard. Instead of heading toward the door, Henri was going toward the balcony. I followed quietly. He opened the door, and wind blasted me head-on. It was a cold Manhattan morning.

"What time is it, anyway?" Henri glanced my way and asked, "What does your gut tell you?" My gut told me it was cold and hungry. I ignored it.

"Uh…" I stepped closer to the edge, where the concrete fell away and left to air and gravity all the way…down…The lights of the city were dim, but still going. It must've been near morning. Millions of scents filled my senses, blinding and overwhelming me. I pushed the unruly hair from my face and blinked. Beyond the city lights, there was only darkness. It definitely wasn't midnight, but there was no light of dawn. Close to dawn, but not quite. The reason I wasn't ash right now.

"Near dawn. Somewhere around…" I closed my eyes, seeming to shut out the overpowering feels and smells and sounds. That helped. I focused on my internal clock and came up with…

"3:54 AM. Am I right?" Henri smiled in the dark, "Nice. Most newborns can't hone their senses at first. They usually have to be told to ignore it." Praise. It felt good. Another feeling tugged at me, and I leaned toward Henri. He smelled so nice. Another smell was pulling at me. Rinka. Suddenly, I wanted to find her. I knew at once it was because she'd turned me; not because I actually wanted to see her.

"Rinka," I whispered, "Where is she?"

"I think you can answer that one yourself too."

"But…"

"Concentrate." It was a test, I realized. He knew it. Rinka knew it too. That's why she wasn't there when I came back. This time, without a hesitant thought, I murmured, "She's at your place." Henri didn't react. It bothered him; I could see it in his eyes. I peered over the edge of the balcony. We were only six stories high, but Henri's limo looked small and obscure on the blacktop. Ready to go, I took a step forward, but a hand on my shoulder held me back.

"Toni, before we see my sister, we need to make a pit stop first." A pit stop? That sounded crazy.

"Where?" Taking both of my shoulders now, we catapulted off of the roof. I felt the air howl as we fell. God, it was such an adrenaline rush. We landed together on the pavement. Henri opened the door for me, and answered, "The Hawthorn Pearl."