Author: Lil'Conqueror PM
You can't trust anyone. They build you up to high hopes and then break you down to nothing. It was maddening. But somehow, he thought he could be the difference in her life. He thought he could save her. But maybe that's all she really wanted. For someone to save her from herself.Rated: Fiction T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 6 - Words: 15,313 - Reviews: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 03-21-13 - Published: 01-29-13 - id: 3096666
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Guess who's back? ;)
"Don't look back, don't look back, don't look back." I chanted in my head fiercely, attempting to keep my eyes forward and my head down low as I practically raced out of the office.
From behind me, I could hear heavy foot steps and voices. First, Maria's. Then, his.
"Keep going, don't look back. Dear Lord, whatever you do, DON'T look back!"
It was like I felt them both hot on my heels because before I knew it, I was literally sprinting out of the office and towards my car.
That voice was too close for comfort and before I could make it safely inside my car, his hand shot forward and wrapped itself snuggly around my arm, pulling me backwards and into his solid chest that surprisingly, wasn't all that uncomfortable. Inwardly, I shook my head vigorously at the thought and scolded myself. What the fuck was I thinking?
Several moments went by with no one saying a word. I could feel eyes on the back of my head, but I wasn't entirely sure if they were his or Maria's. Which, I now realized with utter horror, was his aunt. How appropriate. Mentally, I made a note to find a different therapist later. Or you know, never talk to any professional again. That seemed about right.
Another moment passed.
Were we going to stand here all day? Remember that feeling of his chest not being all that uncomfortable? Yeah, well, I change my mind.
I cleared my throat and looked over my shoulder coldly, not missing the way he visibly flinched as I said, "Do you mind?" I tugged harshly on my arm and not giving it a second thought, he released me.
I probably should've asked him what the hell he wanted, what his problem was and his weird obsession with me that I felt he had; but honestly, I just didn't give a flying fuck. All I wanted was to runaway. I needed to get out of there, out of that situation that I was forced in. All of this was getting even more real than I first imagined it and I couldn't handle it. I could feel my control slipping and I needed to leave.
So, without saying another word, without asking what his deal was or looking back towards Maria who I knew was there watching the scene unfold, I unlocked my door and slid stonily into the drivers seat.
Before either party could blink, I was gone.
Honestly, Lucas wasn't sure what the hell had just happened. One minute he was pulling into the parking lot at his aunt's job and the next, he was chasing the girl he couldn't get out of his mind to her car. Everything was a blur to him. Sure, he had hoped to see her again, to know more about the ordeals the girl he had met went through. Because if he was sure of anything, it was that he knew something was terribly wrong with her. Not physically or even mentally. No, the emotional side to her person was having its own internal war. (Having already dealt with someone just like her, he could see the signs.)
He found himself wanting to know what was wrong, what she was going through. He wanted to know what had caused that expression of hers when he'd first witnessed it that moment at Church. He wanted so badly to understand what her mind was going over constantly. He knew she wasn't okay, knew that something was off in her manner and it seemed like no one was actually getting that.
During the days he hadn't seen her, he figured out what it was that he was most likely suppose to do.
He had to save her. (As down right disturbing as that sounded. What was he, an exorcist?) Somehow, he needed to though. (Without, of course, the exorcisim part.) Oddly enough, he assumed that's what that compelling feeling was. She needed someone to be there for her and he was going to be that someone.
But, how the fuck was he going to do that when he let her slip through his fingers?
He watched in silence as she pulled away from him and got into her car. He didn't say a single word as he watched, unmoving, as she pulled out of the parking lot and pressed on the gas to leave.
Why hadn't he done anything?
Why didn't he stop her?
She was right there. He literally felt her body against his.
Suddenly, that was all he could think about. From behind him, he could faintly hear footsteps as his aunt approched him. And yet, he couldn't get the feeling of her body off his mind. Her scent flared into his nostrils. It was on his clothes. In his face. He could still smell her even when she wasn't even here anymore.
And that, that scent was more than intoxicating. It fogged over his mind and he suddenly couldn't remember where he was, or what he had to do. He forgot his purpose for coming here and there was her face, right before his eyes, and he couldn't think straight.
"Lucas!" Abruptly, Maria shook his shoulder, forcing him out of his reverie and bringing him crashing back down to reality.
Blinking slowly, Lucas turned around and looked thoughtfully at his aunt.
"She's your client?" He'd asked, even though it was so plainly obvious that she was.
Maria gave him a studious look, trying to figure out how her nephew knew Esther. But she could only draw up blanks. Finally, she motioned for him to stay put and turned back around.
"I'm going to take an early lunch break." She explained, her heels clicking against the pavement as she made her way back inside. "We have a lot to discuss."
At that, he couldn't find it in himself to argue.
I was going insane. That was it, my life was officially over because I couldn't deal with what was going on around me and add in a guy that I didn't know at all, who didn't know me at all, and I knew the devil was having it out for me. He was toying with me and laughing as if this situation was utterly hilarious.
I hadn't felt like going home, so after nearly an hour of driving around town, I had decided to park on the side of the street in another town outside of my own. I had pulled up along side the curb and turned the engine off. I needed to breathe, I needed to think over everything that was happening. As if I didn't already have so much on my plate, let's throw in a random stranger trying to force his way into my life and bam, the cherry on top of my delicious, incredibly insane, cake. Can we have some whip cream with that, too?
I sighed, a broken sob sounding through my ears. I couldn't keep doing this.
I couldn't keep putting up this front where I acted as if everything was perfectly fine. Rainbows and unicorns. Because in reality, it really wasn't. I was sick and tired of not being able to sleep at night because I couldn't stop crying. I was sick and tired of trying to be strong when while I'm by myself, I'd fall apart. This wasn't easy for me and no one seem to understand that. That didn't know what was wrong with me, partially because I didn't tell them and also because I knew that if I happened to, they wouldn't be able to wrap their simple minds around it.
I was alone.
Not as in physically. But mentally. Emotionally. I was drained and just simply tired of having to deal with this all on my own.
I chuckled dryly, shaking my head.
But why was I alone? Was this my fault? Was I to blame for not having a lot of close friends? I mean, sure, I didn't normally get along with people because I always had this inkling feeling that they were all talking about me behind my back because I wasn't like them. You know how they say, it's good to be one of a kind? Well, whoever said that is so full of shit it's coming out of their mouth. It's really not.
I couldn't be carefree like them. I couldn't be easygoing and fun like them. I've been through too much, experienced too much. I couldn't change either. I can't just do a 360 and change just because I want to have people who like me or understand me. It wasn't that easy. Hell, it wasn't even possible. Because believe me, I've tried. So many times and nothing ever changed. If anything, it left me more broken and defeated than before I even attempted it.
I couldn't do this anymore. I can't pretend anymore.
A lone tear fell down my cheek slowly and I hiccuped.
"I-I can't do this a-a-anymore." My face fell into my hands as I began to sob uncontrollably.
"In case you want to talk about it. Or anything."
A picture of Lucas's face flashed before my eyes and I gasped.
After a moment, my hand dropped to my pocket where I faintly felt the outline of the ripped piece of paper he had given me when we first met.
"In case you want to talk about it."
He smiled. One of the most captivating smiles I'd ever seen.
"But," I blinked slowly, the tears starting to fade. "But...why?"
A\N: I actually really missed writing for this story. This whole concept's got me wanting to continue writing and writing and writing, because it literally could go on forever. But my original plan for it isn't suppose to, so I'm trying to control myself. Hehe. But anyways, I'm back. And the next chapter shall be up, probably within the week or so. The next chapter will center around Esther and Lucas, they'll finally be able to sit down and talk... SPOILER. Sorry. ;) So, thank you for all the story alerts I've gotten for this story, even without it, I just love writing this. Well, until next time~ xx