Dear God:

Can you hear me?
Are you there?
Are you real?
Do you care?

Can you see me?
Sitting down?
My face tilted up?
Upon it a frown?

Don't you know?
That I don't believe?
Or don't know how?
That I'd rather leave?

Because I don't know
if you're real

I can't tell
if you'll help us heal

I don't believe
you can be here

After what happened
it is not clear

Do you not know?
All of my doubts?
About my troubles?
What my skepticism's about?

What should I do?
Do I believe?
Do I believe?
In what I do not see?

If you are real
then it was not me you saved

Because I would know
if you had to do with it

It was not a miracle
by chance I stayed

Do they lie when they say
it was you who was there?

I do not feel you here
I feel empty at church

As I sit there I lie
and say I know you exist

Because I do not know
whether you're real or not

I would have loved to have been able to go back

and say

"I forgot".

So God:

Can you hear me?
Can you see me?
Are you real?
Do you exist?
I do not know
I don't think I ever will

Can you see me looking down?
Can't you see me looking at the ground?
Upon my face there is a frown
Whatever faith I had once might have simply drowned.