every night I take out my beauties.

[my razor blades. my best friends. my lovers. they love me back, i know it.]

i sit in bed and i hold them tightly in my hands

i close my eyes and i picture your face-

[i'm holding them even tighter now]

the pain comes in lulls.

i've been such a good girl. i've been so good, honestly.

but when it's a bad day, i allow myself a cut. just one cut.

make it count, she warns me. the rational little girl in my head.

this will have to last you till next week.

i know what i can hide. what i can't hide. i know my limits.

just one quick slash, on my right wrist.

i can hide it.

i watch it bleed.

i made it count.

i've been such a good girl, but i deserved a break.

i'm watching it bleed.