|I want you to stay
Author: BloodInTheFields PM
For some people, love doesn't need words. For others, it does. / Very short, read & review please.Rated: Fiction K - English - Romance/Angst - Words: 847 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 03-06-13 - Status: Complete - id: 3106508
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
This may or may not be inspired by some real life events.
Tell me what you think!
"I'm not the patient type. I've never been the patient type."
"You said you'd wait for me."
"I did, and I meant it. But it's been two years and you still haven't changed. You still can't tell me how you really feel. And I can't take it anymore. I can't be around you, wanting to be in your arms and realizing that there's a chance that it'll never happen."
"But I… I like you."
"I'm sorry. This isn't enough anymore. It's not what I'm looking for. I've given you plenty of chances. You had all this time to act and you did nothing. I'm not interested in that kind of relationship."
"Then you're just like everybody else."
"What, because I grew tired of waiting? Because I don't want to waste any more of my time for you?"
"Because you made me believe you, you made me think that it was okay to take my time, and you lied! It's not okay, because you're leaving me now. I thought that you were different; I thought that you'd stick with me but… Obviously I was wrong."
"Is that why you took so much time? Because you wanted to test me? To see if I'd leave you, too?"
"I don't know. Maybe."
"Two years. I've hoped for two years to hear something from you that would show me that what you feel for me is not just… friendship, or whatever it is between us. Two years, and you never said a word. So excuse me if I feel like this is a dead end and want to move on!"
"I thought you knew! Okay? I really thought you knew how I felt. I thought I didn't words to tell you how much you mean to me! I tried to… to tell you, through my eyes, through my smiles, I tried…"
In that moment, I swear I can see how truly broken you are. I've never seen so much pain in anybody else's look before.
"I saw it all," I say. "The way you looked at me, your smiles, I saw it all. But it wasn't enough. It prevented me from giving up, it kept me hoping that you'd talk to me, that you were just working up the courage to tell me how you felt but… I was the one doing all the chasing and I really didn't mind, at first. But that's not how you build a relationship. You made me look clingy and desperate for your attention and your love, when in fact it was the contrary. You wanted me to want you, and you succeeded. I want you, okay? But you already know that. It's no secret for anyone. To all of your friends it looks like you have all the power in this weird situation. But you and I both know this isn't true. Because if I choose to let go, today… Then you'll be the one to lose everything. I've given you so much, and you didn't give me anything in return. If I turn my back on you, I won't lose anything because I have nothing. You are not in control, here. I am."
"Does that make you feel better? To know that you're in control? Then yes, you are. You've always been. I've never cared so much about anyone else in my entire life. One day you walk in and I know that you're going to be different. But I think, how could you ever be interested in someone like me? You deserve so much better. It took me a while to understand that love knows no rules, no boundaries. How could it, with you loving me? You made me realize that this was what my life was missing. This is what I was craving for. Love, attention… You gave it all to me, and I guess I just didn't know how to do the same. And you're right. I shouldn't blame you for leaving me. I am the one who pushed you away. So leave. Go. Don't look back. Don't let me hold you back. You deserve someone who won't be afraid to tell you they love you, someone who'll be proud to show you to the world, someone who'll feel worthy of you. I can't be that person. Not now. And I don't know if I'll ever be able to change."
Your words cut into me like a sharp knife would.
"Thank you," I whisper. "I love you."
"Thank you. For teaching me so much."
"What did you learn?" I ask.
"Love is sacrifice."
"Yes. Yes, it is."
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