Copyright 2001.

In and Out

Who? Me? Steal? From you?
Nah, not me.
Okay, maybe.
All right, yes. A few times, no more.
Money for the grocery store.
(And those other times for fun, no more.)

Who? Me? Say something?
Kind of, I guess.
Oh, all right. I confess.
Three times when I was young
I stole your pocket money, just for fun.
(Like your wallet yesterday afternoon.)

No, no. I'm kidding. I kind of swear to God
(As long as He'll forgive me.)
All right, all right. Do you want me to tell it or not?
By the way, you really need new locks.
What's that face for? Stop that!
You aren't a cop!

On with the story, first the explanation
A startling revelation
I did it for bragging rights only.

In school, other kids
Had more money than I did
And even though I couldn't go to a store to make some buys,
It made a lot of sense at the time
Don't ask me why
I could hardly count nickels and dimes.

The first time was a joke
No offense
But it was ridiculously easy
In and out, open the tall bureau
Grab the smooth glass jar, thrust a small hand in
Loose change, cool, and quiet, but too noisy in the silence.

And that was that.
In and out.
Put jar back. Close door
Scared for no reason
In and out.
Gone in sixty seconds

Don't feel too bad
I had plenty of reason the second time
To be scared
You almost caught me then
Almost
But almost doesn't count.

I went in, grabbed the jar
Heard someone in the hall and shoved it back
Hard steps, or heartbeats, pounding in my ears
Here it was, the moment
But you let me down, Mom
Just got some jewelry or something and left

And I stopped cowering in the cool shadow of the bureau
Came out, took the money
My money. I mean- oh, never mind
Anyway...
With the newfound high
I was officially a thief

The third time, though
Was a joke. No offense
In and out,
Shiny coins in my ceramic pink pig
Turns out when the money's yours
It smells tangier, more sweetly pungent

I didn't get caught
No threat at all
In and out
The coins clinking against the glass jar
And against each other- The only dratted sound
No fun at all

And hence
Ended
My brief career as a thief

(Or so you hope)
Huh?
Nope. Didn't say a thing. Not me.
Nope.