Not again, I don't want to drift that way again,

So, pull hard, row fast, you can push yourself farther than you have to, so why don't you?

I know it's not good, it's not moral, it's not right

But what is anymore? No, stop it, you're doing it again.

Sick cycle carousel

Lonely music, happy laughter, who am I?

do i know, and will i ever

black fingernail polish and close minded people

"they're all the same, only wanting attention, bad home lives, you'll ruin your natural beauty"

What beauty? yeah, i see it. i don't really enjoy it.

i don't think it's all that fantastic. i like black

i don't think i should

i also like gothic clothing

is that wrong

mom thinks it is...i don't

i'm not satanic, i'm not gay, i don't do drugs or slice myself open, although i've thought about it

but who hasn't

so..what's wrong with dressing in black and being different?

is it illegal? is it wrong? no..it's bad for my parent's reputation.

and i'll support that

because they've supported me

and i hate when i do this

i get numb, and dead inside, so emotional i can't feel anymore

it's horrible...straddling the fence

why can't i just be normal like way back when

why can't he love me and why can't i love him?

that made no sense..but in a way it did

i can't love him...and it's because i'm tired of it.

no more playing "damsel in distress" or "heartbroken lovesick fool"

no more being an idiot

just be hard and cold and sit in the library curled up with your books to keep you company

until something better comes along.

then i write or sing or draw and i feel again

i feel love and songs and hope and hot and sugar and grass and touch

and it is good and love and love and love

all you need is love

but then again, love is hate and it is all your enemy