Not You

Not You

Julie Miller and Heather Gean 2001

I shoved a pair of tennis shoes into my duffel bag. I sighed heavily. I hate packing. That and I’m going to be gone for three months, so it’s really hard to pack. I had two suitcases full already. I looked over my stuff. I had a two suitcases of clothes, a duffel bag full of shoes and toiletries, and a backpack full of things like CDs, a CD player, magazines, books, and other things I thought I’d need to spend three months in California.

I was going to baby-sit my aunt and uncles kids. They’re four and seven. My aunt and uncle were going on a cruise to Spain, where they’d live for a month, travel Europe, and arrive home in the middle of August. My aunt and uncle are loaded. Amy is a lawyer and Ben is an agent. They’ve always been loaded. They live in a mansion. August is four. Ray is seven.

I was worried that I would be there by myself. I mean…a seventeen year old, by herself, in San Diego, California? Who trusts that seventeen-year-old? I wouldn’t. I REALLY wouldn’t. So, my aunt and uncle said I could bring whomever I wanted.

In my group of friends, there are about five girls. I’m really good friends with all of them. I couldn’t choose between them. So instead, I chose my best guy friend, Tom. Tom’s cool. He agreed to come.

I shoved the bags out the doors. I left this afternoon. Talk about late packing! My mom met me at the stairs and helped me carry them out to our car. My aunt was dropping off a jeep at the airport in San Diego. I checked my pocket for the keys, which she’d mailed me. Once I was sure they were there, I helped my mom pack the suitcases and bags in the car. It was two-thirty. Our plane left at three thirty. All I needed was Tom. He’d be late to his own funeral. So I was sweating it, when up pulled his dad. Tom’s mom had had a baby that previous week. I knew Tom needed out of the house. I mean, how many seventeen-year-olds do you know that has a newborn brother or sister?

I sighed in relief seeing Tom. "Jeez Jordan," I started, "you were giving me quite a scare."

Tom gave me a weird handshake, then a hug. "Wouldn’t miss it," he said. Tom was wearing baggy khaki cargo pants and a black, hooded sweatshirt. It was almost summer for God sakes! It was the end of May and here he is wearing long pants and a hoodie! His feet had on a pair of Pumas and he had a backward, black, skating hat on his head. To finish the look, he’d put on a pair of silver Oakley sunglasses.

"Ready for winter in the southern part of Cali?" I asked with a grin.

"You should be talking Miss Sunshine!" he said, referring to my clothes.

"What?" I asked confused.

"The red tube top? Short shorts? What are you going for? Most uncomfortable on the airplane?"

Airplane. "Oh shi…I mean crud! We have to get to the airport!"

We quickly loaded Tom’s bags and he said quick good-byes to his father. My mom drove us there and we arrived at the airport in Las Vegas, Nevada, a half-hour later.

I said bye to my mom. My dad was across sea, doing work in some foreign nation. She left and Tom and I sat there. He was drumming his hands on his lap, thinking. He’d had a lot on his mind lately. I’d felt like he’d been holding back from me. I crossed my legs, and pulled out my hooded sweatshirt. Unlike Tom’s, mine zipped up the front. He laughed when I put it on. Like he’d said, I was too sunny.

Tom’s got this amazing smile. He has perfect teeth. They’re white, pearly, straight, and absolutely gorgeous. When he grins, his eyes crinkle, and he gets this dimple in his right cheek. His eyes are this deep chocolate brown color, the type you could lose your mind in. His hair is dark. He slightly spikes it and he highlighted some of it with this gold color. He’s tall, much taller than I am. He towers well over six feet by three inches or so. Tom’s built, muscular, which you’d never guess, mainly because he’s a skater. He likes to lift me up and spin me around really fast. I don’t know why.

He’s also a player. I mean it. Every weekend he parties, and takes home a new girl. He’ll stay with her for three or four days, dump her, and then go to a new girl at the next party. He’s a bit promiscuous; he’s been around. Though, during one of our late night chats he did admit one thing to me: he’s still a virgin. At these parties he "messes around with the girls, but knows which borders not to cross". I don’t know where this behavior comes from. I don’t really care to find out.

"Penny for your thoughts?" he asked, stopping his drumming.

"I should be asking that of you," I told him simply, looking at him. He was tired, beat. "Did you sleep last night?"

"Not well," he admitted. "Madison woke up last night, well more like, two-thirty, four-ten, and six-eleven, in the morning."

Madison was his baby sister. Tom had kept quiet about the whole pregnancy thing. I could tell it bothered him somewhat. His parents had had him when they were mere teenagers. His mom was eighteen and his dad was nineteen. They’d married when he was four. They weren’t well off for awhile. Eventually, his mom began to work a few night jobs, while his dad went to college. When he was done, his mom went back, and now things were going fine, both financially and emotionally. Tom on the other hand…

He doesn’t deal well with change, as most of us don’t. I think that’s been part of his player role. He doesn’t know what else to do. Two or three Friday nights of his behavior had become a habit and it was hard to change back.

The sad thing is that if Tom would settle down, he’d make an amazing boyfriend. He’s got to be the sweetest and most caring guy I’ve ever met. Whoever the lucky girl is that steals his heart, she is going to be the luckiest girl in the entire universe. That’s the type of guy he is.

"That’s too bad," I told him. "You can sleep on the plane."

He nodded. "Thank God. I don’t know how long I can last."

"Poor thing," I said. Then the flight attendant started our boarding call.

My aunt had gotten us first class. She said we needed to arrive in style. We were row five, so we got on in minutes. Like we’d discussed, he’d fallen asleep. It shouldn’t be a long flight. I listened to music and read some magazines. I looked over the directions that my aunt had given us to her house.

We touched down in San Diego at about six-thirty. The sun was shining and Tom seemed refreshed. I pulled him off the plane and was greeted by the nice southern California air.

We got our bags after much pain and strife…I’d brought like…my entire wardrobe and located the bright blue jeep. I smiled. My aunt had remembered my favorite of her cars. It was parked out front. I grabbed the keys and directions…then loaded Tom’s and my stuff up. When we were ready, I got in the driver’s side and we were off. The radio was set to KROQ, the local rock station.

Tom read off the directions. We went through the heart of San Diego. Kids were boarding everywhere. I saw Tom smiling. He pointed out kids doing tricks that he’d mastered and thanked himself for bringing his board. We then went out towards Encinitas. That’s where my aunt lived.

The houses here were huge. We were led to a sub-section, with gates that were closed. I showed the guy who I was, and he let me through. My aunt had gotten me a pass for the guard. He was kind and we were soon twisting through the small neighborhood. As we reached the house, we got closer to another fence. I entered in the pin code and the gates opened.

Before us lay the house. I’d never been to this house. I’d been to their old one a few years back, but that was nothing in comparison to this home. It was huge! It was two floors. The top had a huge balcony that was opened by two large French doors. It was white pillared and well kept. I heard Tom silently swear to himself. There was a loop that took you straight to the front of the house. In the middle of that field was a fountain. Trees surrounded the house.

"My gosh," I whispered, pulling up to the house.

"They live here? We’re going to be living here for the next three months?" Tom asked, amazed.

"Oh my gosh," was all I could muster. Sure, I lived in a big house, but my house looked puny compared to this one!

My aunt rushed outside and somehow I got out of the car. "Hello June!" my aunt exclaimed, rushing towards me and wrapping me in a hug.

"Hey Aunt Amy!" I said, hugging back. "How are you?"

"Fine! Just fine darling! How was your flight?"

"Long, but good."

"And this must be Tom," my aunt said, shaking his hand.

"I am," he said, with one of his famous grins.

"It’s so nice to finally meet you! June has said quite a bit about you!"

I laughed. "Oh loads," I said.

"Don’t stand out here, come inside!"

We followed my aunt into the house. My uncle was working late. As soon as I got inside, August rushed to me. "June! Mommy, June’s here!" the four-year-old exclaimed.

I hadn’t seen much of the little girl, but what I had was great. She was the spitting image of myself: blonde hair, gray eyes, and energetic personality. I’d seen her that spring, so I was still fresh in her memory. Thank God. It would have been awful to step into this huge babysitting job, with the kids having no clue who I am. Just awful. I know that I wouldn’t have liked it. I picked up the girl and swung her around. I put her down and she grabbed my hand. I grinned. I turned to see Tom with a small grin on his face.

"You kids will get time to yourselves," Amy started. "Four days a week, I have some friends taking them. Oh! And on Friday nights, Ben’s parents agreed to take them for the whole weekend! So you will be able to live your teenage lives!"

I laughed. "Thanks. I hate to be rude, but can you show me where I’m staying, so I can get unloaded and then play with the kids?" I asked.

She agreed. We grabbed my bags as well as Tom’s and headed back inside. The corridor is huge. When you first go in, you’re met with white, marble floors. The first room to your left, has a couch and a few plush chairs. One wall is covered with a giant window. The next room after, was the dining room. It was done in oak and hunter green. To your right, was a marble staircase to the top floor. At the end of that floor, was a living room, and the kitchen branched off to the left. If you continued to your right, you reached more rooms, a study, offices, and the door that led to the basement. We’d investigate that later.

"I’m not giving you the master bedroom, but the next two bedrooms are just as large. The children are across the hall." My aunt led us upstairs.

"Big house," I told her. She laughed. We passed Ray’s room. It was done in blue. There were airplanes on the walls. Ray was passed out in his bed, sleeping. Then I saw August’s room. It was pink. Dolls and teddy bears were scattered on the floor.

My aunt opened up the door to Tom’s room and I sucked in deep. It was done in the most gorgeous shade of dark green that I’d ever seen. His bed had to have been a king and his furniture was made of cherry wood. He had a black, white, and green shaded bathroom with a nice shower. There was a large walk in closet and a giant window. A door led off to somewhere I didn’t know.

Then she took me to mine. I sucked in my breath even harder than when I’d seen Tom’s. My room was crimson. The bed had four large posts and was king sized. The walls were deep red. The French doors and balcony that I’d seen, opened from my room! My furniture was this gorgeous oak. There was a cordless phone. The bathroom was almost twice the size of Tom’s. I had a Jacuzzi tub and a full shower. The vanity was the size of two normal ones and the floor was checked black and white. The towels, crimson of course, were hanging side by side on their racks. I had a large walk in closet for all of my clothes. Oh, and the door I’d seen in Tom’s room that led to who-knew-where? It led to my room. We had direct access to each other. Awesome! My aunt left. Tom tucked his head in my room from his door.

"Holy shit!" he whispered. "Look at your palace!"

I laughed. I walked over to the bed. There was a note there on the bed. I read it.

June-

August and I just want to thank you for agreeing to take care of us. We thnk you very, very, very much. Mommy has had a construkter working very, very hard on a room jus for you. to go to it, go out of your room, to yor right, n enter the door at the end of the hall. We hope you like it!

Love,

Ray and August

I grinned. Ray’s writing was shaky and August’s name was scribbles, but it was a very cute letter. "Well, I’ll be right back," I told Tom. "Start to unpack or something." He nodded and I followed the directions to the room. I opened the door. My eyes nearly flew out of my head. I nearly cried. I’d told my aunt what my dream room would look like, but I didn’t think she’d CREATE it!

The floor was made of bare wood. They were smooth and shiny. The walls were dark red. They weren’t as deep as my bedroom walls. There was a giant window that overlooked the ocean. There was one couch. It was red like the walls. Against the wall beside it was a Fender guitar and amp. My mouth flew open. Fender guitar? Know who Tom DeLonge is? It was his style. It was sea-foam green, gorgeous!

I walked to Tom’s room and pulled him by the hand to the room. When he saw it he was speechless. He looked at the guitar, the room, the view, and back to me. "I knew that she was loaded," I started, "but never THIS loaded!" I giggled a bit. "Do you think she likes me?"

Tom readjusted his cap and gawked at the room. "Now this, my lady, is unbelievable," he said when he recollected his voice, walking over to the guitar and checking it out, nodding his head. "Very nice. I like," he commented with a grin. I was still standing at the doorway, unable to move.

Ray came up beside me. "Do you like it?" he asked in his small voice.

I bent down and gave him a hug. "I love it," I replied. A little smile spread across his face. "Raymond! August! Kids, where are you?" called Aunt Amy down the hall. Ray jumped into her arms.

She gave him a big kiss and then wiped the lipstick off of his face with her index finger. "Bye, sweetie," she said. "We'll be back at the end of the summer. You're going to be a big boy right? And help June and Tom with August."

He nodded. "Okay. Bye Mommy," he told her. August came skipping down the hallway. Aunt Amy grabbed her up too.

"I've got to go now, pumpkin," she said into her ear. August gave her a big kiss and was set back down onto the floor. "I'll me back soon. Love you both!"

August and Ray said in unison, "Bye!"

August jumped into my arms. She touched the tip of my nose with her finger and seemed to be studying my eyes. After a few moments I asked her, "What are you looking at?"

A few seconds later she slithered out of my arms and grabbed my hand, tugging me toward the window. "Look," she said pointing to the ocean, which was a blue gray color. "Your eyes are the color of the water." I giggled with her.

"Really?" I asked. She nodded, very amused with herself. A loud whangy noise was heard from behind us. I turned around to see Tom looking at us with a very surprised look with his fingers on the strings of the guitar. A goofy grin crossed his face.

"Just testing," he told us. Bringing himself to feet, he shuffled across the floor in some weird motion and grabbed Ray up quickly. Ray almost let out a scream before Tom had a chance to gently put his hand over the little boy's mouth. I barely heard him whisper, "Shhhh! We're on a secret mission. Quickly, to the kitchen!"

Ray laughed wildly. So did August and I. I walked over and put my hand on Tom's shoulder. "Come on Batman," I said sarcastically, "let's find something to eat before you two monkeys raid the kitchen."

In the immense kitchen I found a note on the refrigerator from Aunt June.

June & Tom, Don't worry about grocery shopping! Anything you want to get just call the super market and order whatever it. The number is 664-2298 and put it on Ben and Amy Northcott's account. They'll have it all delivered within thirty minutes. -Aunt Amy & Uncle Ben

"We don't have to worry about the food supply," I mentioned to Tom. He walked over and glanced at the note.

"Awesome," he said, walking over and swinging open the refrigerator door. He picked up a container of something and read the label on the top. "Pizza rolls."

"Yeah, let's have those!" Ray cried, hopping up onto a barstool.

I snatched the container from Tom with a quick, "No." August peered into the refrigerator with us.

"I want Oreos," she whined. "And milk." She tugged on my shorts leg. "June, June, June. I want Oreos."

"Okay!" I agreed, quickly. That decided that. I searched the cabinets until I found a bag of Oreos and poured everyone milk. After eating them everything went well for a while. I cleaned up the kitchen alone.

With the house in silence I walked up the staircase and down the hall. Ray was playing his Playstation and blowing up buildings. I wondered where Tom had run off to just as I got to August's bedroom door. I burst into laughter, almost doubling over.

Tom was sitting at August's small tea table beside two dolls and a one-eyed teddy bear. He was wearing about twenty beaded necklaces and a big, floppy, purple hat with flowers on it just like August's. In his hand was a tiny teacup. I noticed large clip-on earrings dangling from his ears. When he looked up and saw me his face turned red quickly.

"Sorry to interupt you two ladies lovely party, but I must compliment you two on your wonderful dresses," I told them, entering the room and kneeling down next to the table. Did I mention that Tom had a very large purple thing draped around his waist, which looked like a skirt. August had on a dress-up Cinderella dress and had plastic rings on all of her tiny fingers.

"Tank you," August said politely. "Tom picked out his own dress!"

I chuckled a little. His eyes pleaded with me to leave him alone. "Ahh, it's very pretty. But I've got things to do. I'll be back in a little bit." Tom let out a sigh of relief as I left the room, still laughing to myself. I decided to unpack while thinking out dinner.

I tossed my first suitcase onto the bed and opened it up. It was full of clothes. With my huge closet I was sure I'd have enough room for it all. I neatly categorized all of my clothing in the walk-in closet. I looked at my one empty suitcase on the bed. It was too quiet in the house. I didn't like it at all.

I quickly opened up the entertainment center to find a huge stereo system. I smiled to myself. "Aunt Amy, you really know how to live," I said softly. I put in a few CD's and let the sounds of Fred Durst's voice fill the room. I sang along to "My Way" while opening up my next suitcase.

I neatly hung the clothes in the closet and shoved the rest of the stuff into the dresser drawers. I sighed when I looked at my duffel bag still sitting on the ground. I heard a knock on the door. "Come in," I called.

Tom's head poked into the room. "I ordered pizza, if that's okay," he said over the music. I quickly went over and turned it down. I nodded.

"Yeah, thanks," I said. He eyed my two empty suitcases.

"Making progress," he commented with a grin.

"Of course!" I told him laughing. The summer was looking up.

Around nine, after fighting with August and her bath, I laid on stomach on my bed while painting my nails and playing Blink-182 very low. I saw Tom walk in through the door that connects our rooms. I tugged slightly at my flannel pajama pants and scooted over a little where he could lie beside me. He jumped on the bed dramatically. "So, how do you like it here?" he asked me.

"I like it," I replied, finishing up my pinky finger. I stuck my hands in front of me and admired the nice job I’d done. "What about you?"

"It’s cool. You don’t get a chance every day to go to Cali for free."

I nodded. "So how was your tea party?"

Tom’s face turned a bright shade of red and he looked at his fingers. "Good," he mumbled.

"You know Tom, that really was very sweet of you," I told him, nudging him with my shoulder. "Not many guys would put up with a tea party."

Tom shrugged. "I guess."

I could tell he wasn’t going to talk much about it. "Thanks."

He nodded. Then he finally looked at me again. "What are we going to do tomorrow?"

"I was thinking we’d take the kids to the San Diego Zoo. How’s that sound?"

Tom took the CD case on my bed and looked at it. "Good. Put it on twelve," he said pointing at the Blink case. It was their latest CD Take Off Your Pants and Jacket.

"You want to listen to ‘Shut Up’?" I said laughing.

"Yeah," he said looking at me with a smile. "It’s something I wish you’d do every now and then." My mouth dropped open and he laughed. "I’m just kidding!"

"You are so getting your ass kicked for that one!" I said, pouncing on him. We started to wrestle on my bed. Tom’s much stronger than I am, so he had me pinned within minutes.

"Sorry," he whispered, looking down at me. "I beat you again."

I pushed him off of me. "What else is new? I’m just a weakling."

"Well as much as I’d like to stay and chat, I’m going to bed."

Tom got off my bed and I followed him. Before he went into his room, we hugged and I shut the door.

I walked over to my bed and crawled under the covers. I took the remote for the stereo and shut off the player. Then I turned on my side, shut my eyes, and fell into a deep slumber.