Ironic Ironic
Story written by Khaydarin9
Song written and performed by Alanis Morisette (from her album Jagged Little Pill)

Old man turned ninety-eight, he won the lottery and died the next day …
‘How could you?’ Cassie’s voice almost vibrated with suppressed anger but her sky-blue eyes were revealing her heart’s true thought - regret.
‘Cassie …’ Ryan whispered. ‘I didn’t-‘
‘Didn’t what?’ she almost screamed at him. ‘Didn’t kiss her? Was it just a mirage, Ryan, is that it? Am I imagining these things by myself? Am I sick – is that why you decided that I’m just not your old Cassie anymore?’
‘Of course not,’ Ryan struggled for words. ‘I still love you Cass, you know that. Please.’
It’s a black fly in your Chardonnay … A death row pardon, two minutes too late …
‘Please?’ she laughed mockingly at him. ‘How can you say please to me now? I don’t believe you, Ryan … I thought I meant more to you than that. After everything we’ve been through – I thought that I knew you. I guess I was wrong. I don’t really know you at all, Mr Cory Raynor.’
She stared at him, daring him to hit her after calling him by his true name which he hated above all other things. Ryan, however, brushed her provocations aside.
‘There’s nothing more that I can say about this that hasn’t already been said,’ he said, his own eyes still pleading. ‘Except – I’m sorry. If this hadn’t been an accident, I wouldn’t be still here, Cassie. Think hard, you know that I still care.’
Isn’t it ironic? Don’t you think …
She slapped him across the cheekbone with her the flattest part of her palm. Even though she had put her whole force into the blow, Ryan didn’t move, not even to rub his smarting eyes.
‘You care?’ Cassie screamed. ‘Well you have a very strange way of showing it, Cory. If this is the way you care about people, then I’d really hate to be any part of your family.’
For a moment, she just stood there, her rage forming an invisible barrier that outlined her against the cloud-shaded sky.
‘Goodbye, Cory,’ she told him, her eyes cold as she spun on her heel and turned. ‘God forbid we ever meet again.’

It’s like rain on your wedding day,
It’s a free ride when you’ve already paid,
It’s the good advice that you just didn’t take,
And who would have thought it figures …

The sky split open as she walked, alone, down the sidewalk away from him. The cascading rain shielded her from his view, almost as if it would not even let him see her again. The cold dampness set in as Ryan, too, turned away, clouds of fog steaming from his mouth and nose as he breathed.
Where do I go now that Cass is gone? he asked himself.
Gone … gone for good, something whispered around his brain, shrouding it with grey faults.
Home, I guess.
Mr. Play-It-Safe was afraid to fly, he took his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye …
Cassie wanted to scream her pain to the rest of the world. She wanted to scream until she suffocated, scream until her agony went away. More than anything, she wanted to share her pain with someone else. Nothing, after all, was quite as burdensome with two.
Two … Lying sprawled on the couch in her living room, Cassie found herself fondling her necklace unintentionally. It was the pendant that made the necklace special, one of those that was split in half down the middle so that one person could wear each half. And if someone was lost, the necklace would never be whole again. Just like her heart.
He waited his whole damn life just to take that flight, and when the plane crashed down, he thought ‘Well isn’t this nice …’
Isn’t it ironic … Don’t you think …
The door slammed behind him as Ryan entered his own home. Outside, the lightning and thunder argued loudly, splitting the sky in their age-old war. He sank down into a chair without even turning the light on, his head falling into his hands. Grinding his teeth harshly, he silently cursed the world for all it had done to him. He cursed his parents for breathing life into him, he cursed the girl who’s name he did not even know who had kissed him when he had picked up the books she had dropped and he cursed the photos on the mantelpiece that so innocently depicted Cassie and him in various times over the two years they had known each other. But strangely enough, he did not condemn Cassie herself. A deadened sensation blanketed itself over his brain whenever he thought of her.
With the power of a sudden rage, he picked up the remote control, crushing the black plastic between his fingers. Then he hurled it at the mantelpiece, smashing the glass photo frames with the deadly accuracy only found in one who loved baseball as much as he. The fine glass splintered and fell to the worn carpet, some pieces almost as large as his hand, others so small that they did not even catch the fickle light of the white lightning as it flashed outside the window.
Staring at the torn photos, Ryan uncoiled his white-knuckled fists and bolted for the screen door, out into the rain. Suddenly he knew how Cassie was going to react.
Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you think everything’s okay and everything’s going right …
She needed an escape, that much she knew. The promise of sanctuary was like a beacon shining against the harsh fluorescent lights if the kitchen. She walked like a zombie towards the far end of the kitchen, way from the only window that looked out into the car-lined street. She did not see Ryan as he sprinted through the storm, his hair bedraggled and his clothes sagging from the weight of the water. He didn’t matter any more. Nothing mattered anymore.
Dreamlike, Cassie reached slowly for one of the long, silvery knives from the wooden holder. She held it to her wrist, right next to the pulsing delta of purple arteries, carrying her lifeblood to and from her deadened heart.
Behind her, the door burst open as Ryan forced his way into her house. With a look of pure horror at the sight of her and the knife, he vaulted over the kitchen counter, knocking her down to the linoleum floor and the knife from her desperate grasp.
‘What do you think you’re doing?’ Ryan asked, climbing back to his feet and picking up the weapon.
‘Get out, Ryan,’ she muttered, her voice low and dull. ‘Don’t ever enter my house again. It wasn’t and will never be any of your business.’
‘You think that your life isn’t my business?’ he asked her softly. ‘If I don’t make it my business, no one will.’
She ignored him, reaching for her knife with her cold hand.
‘If you died, Cassie,’ Ryan continued. ‘I could never be able to look someone straight in the face again. You would have died because of me.’
‘Ah …’ Cassie replied, her voice still eerily unemotional. ‘So you came here to save your own. You haven’t changed.’
‘That’s not true,’ he insisted, putting the knife down on the counter, carefully making sure that the slick blade was facing away from them, and taking hold of her shoulders.
‘Give that back,’ she commanded, reaching out for the knife.
‘No,’ he declared. ‘I will not let you kill yourself. You mean more to me than that. I love you.’
‘If you love me, which I doubt,’ Cassie said, coldly. ‘Then you’ll respect my decision. Get out of the way.’
‘Never. Didn’t you hear me? I said I love you Cassie. Nothing has changed. The past years we’ve spent together have been the happiest of my life.’
He gazed earnestly into her eyes, his hands still gripping her slim shoulders. ‘Please,’ he said again. ‘Don’t kill yourself.’
And life has a funny way of helping you out when everything goes wrong and everything blows up in your face …
Something unlocked in Cassie’s mind as he spoke the words of his heart. The innocence – the unquestionable truth behind his words – made her heart thaw and finally melt. Almost bitterly, she allowed herself a smile at the look of complete passion and adoration on his face.
‘Alright then,’ she said very quietly, carefully prying her long-nailed fingers from their adamant grip on the counter. ‘You’ve convinced me.’
Ryan’s face broke into a relieved smile. ‘Thank God, Cassie. I’m so glad.’
She fell into his arms, silently crying away her angst and pain. He comforted her almost awkwardly, patiently stroking her hair until she finally decided to pull away, her eyes stained blood crimson.
‘You okay?’ he asked kindly.
Cassie nodded, her eyes puffy. One arm around her shoulders and the other by his side, Ryan began to herd her out of the kitchen.
A traffic jam when you’re already late, a no-smoking sign on your cigarette break. It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife – it’s meeting the man of my dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife.
And isn’t it ironic …don’t you think …
A little too ironic … and yeah, I really do think …
He took a step forward, quietly comforting her but something bumped into his arm. The handle of the knife spun as he pushed against it, it’s shining blade slicing an arc in the air as it spun around and plunged itself into the crook of its elbow and emerged out the other side of his flesh.
Ryan didn’t realise what was happening at first. His arm froze, steeling itself against the pain, but the blood still flowed, seeping out of the viscous cut and spilling over his skin onto the floor. A wave of dizziness swamped over his brain in an instant as he gazed uncomprehendingly at the knife protrouding from both sides of his arm.
‘Oh God!’ Cassie screamed as his blood continued to flow. Weakened, he fell to his knees, then, unable to prop himself up with his other arm, Ryan collapsed fully, with Cassie crying over him, her feather-soft hair wiping away the barrier she had held against him.
Even in his dazed state, Ryan wondered why the world was turning white.

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you. Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out.
Helping you … out …

For Angel, who’s Ryan will never return.