JOKES 3

One day up in heaven at the pearly gate to get into heaven there's

three guys in line to face the gate keeper and the gate keeper asks

them to step up and then the gate keeper told the guys now heaven is a

big place so I'm going to give you a car the type of car depends on how

well you answer this question the gate keeper said and now for the

question How many times have you cheated on your wife? The first guy

says none OK said the keeper thats good your the man I'm going to give

you a stretch black limo. The second guy says I've done it twice Ok

I'll give you a ford pick up. Then the third guy said I've done it five

times Ok I'll give you a Toyoda. Next day you see the Ford pick up

broken down on the side of the road and the guy in the Toyoda pass by

and then he sees the limo pulled over and the guy is crying so the

Toyoda pulls up and asks why are you crrying you have this big limo so

why are you crying? The other guy answers I just saw my wife go by and

she was riding a stakeboard.

There's this three girl in middle school a Blonde a Red head and a Burnette which one has the best figure? The Blonde she's 18

Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a
fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left."

So they went home

'Have you heard my knock-knock joke?'' asked the blonde.''No,'' said the brunette.''Okay,'' said the blonde, ''you start.''

What do you call a hundred blondes stacked up on each other
An air mattress.

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.

She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst

way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local

vendors were asking.After becoming very frustrated with the

"no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted,

"Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair

of shoes at a reasonable price! "The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be

my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on

catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper was

driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in

the water,shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator

swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed thecreature, and with

a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby

were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in

amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and

frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing an shoes

either!"

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's

doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas.

With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual

dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row

stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your

stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that

way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth

as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being

respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full

potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate

discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and

all in the name of humor!''

How did the blonde die raking leaves?

She fell out of the tree!