Every night I see the most horrible things

Murder, rape, genocide, torture, catastrophies

Terrible wars with weapons we cant even imagine today

They will come

with ships, under water

and with unbelievable speed through the air

With fire and gas and invisible vapors

They will destroy everything

1 Everything

2 …No one will survive…

Damien pulls me close, desperately trying to calm me. Calming? What good is it anyway? We’re going to die, die, and Kylian won’t be here. He’ll die alone. My face buried in Damien’s shoulder, I almost bite him in an attempt to unleash my desperate energies. I know I am hysterical, and I don’t care. I can’t see anymore, my eyes are all swollen and red, my nose and throat are filled with snot.

Curse it all, curse God, curse Fate, curse Life, or whatever is responsible for this mess.

We don’t even know why we’re dying. What the reason is for this idiocy. The whole world is being bombed, everything is going to Hell, and we don’t even know why. And Kylian will die alone.

Damien leads me back to the couch. Unseeing, uncaring, I fall down and pull a pillow onto my lap. I’m biting on it like a little kid. I need to destroy something. God, I’m so afraid.

My vision clears a little. I wipe the tears from my face, uncaring if I wipe blood on it. My palms are bleeding. Quite an accomplishment from someone with weak nails and a habit to bite them. Who’s going to look at appearances now? Somewhere it has some streak of romanticism to die with blood smeared on my face. I almost smile.

The room is silent, we’re all brooding on our own thoughts. What do you think on a moment like this, on a day like today?

Damien’s voice sounds muffled. “It’s all been useless in the end…â€