Why I Hate Love Poetry

“I love you so much!”

Hmph.

“Love at first sight, it was, I knew…”

Blah.

“Even though we are apart, and you don’t love me anymore and want me blasted off the face of this earth, I’ll still love you and will follow you around forever until you follow through with your threat…”

Gag.

Someone

Save me

From this horrible

Despicable

Yucky

Mess.

Can’t take it anymore

You love him?

Who cares.

You never want to let her go?

So what.

“Oh, my soul mate, other half, darling…”

Yeah, yeah

Shout it from a mountain-top

Hanging upside down from a fallen pine tree

Your head covered in rose petals

For all I care

Just don’t

Tell

Me

Honestly

I don’t care about it

Don’t care about your feelings

(nothing personal of course)

Yes

I’ve written it

Yes

I’ve read it

And yes

I do find it quite vile

Stop whining

And go find a date

You need one

So you can leave

Me

Alone

But no hard feelings

Okay?