CLAIMER: I own the company, Marcella, that I refer to in this "commercial." Don't ask WHERE I got that name, I just thought it up. ;)

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Heehee...this is just an attempt to roast fans of movies that have no plot, only emotion, a phenomenon known in our society as the "chick flick." *Grrrr* I HATE CHICK FLICKS!!! GIVE ME JACKIE CHAN!!!! :) Why did I write this? Because I was bored and looking for way to slam chick flick lovers.

RATED: G

ARCHIVES: Please do and let me know where.

MARCELLA'S CHICK FLICK PROOF MASCARA

WOMAN: I love to go see a movie and cry.

(Shot of her in a movie theatre crying)

WOMAN: But the ride home is always awful. Not because my husband hated the movie...

(In the car. The woman is still crying, and her husband is railing)

HUSBAND: That was painful!

WOMAN: It was beautiful!

HUSBAND: There wasn't even a body count!

(Back to the woman)

WOMAN: But because my mascara runs.

(Back to the car, the woman is checking her mascara in the rearview mirror)

(Back to the woman)

WOMAN: Is there anything I can do?

VOICE-OVER: Yes. Try Marcella's Chick Flick Proof mascara. It gives your lashes that full, luscious look, but won't wear off when the tears begin to fall because Leonardo DiCaprio just bought the farm. So you can go see a movie and shed all the tears you want.

(Back in the theatre. The woman is crying, and her mascara is not running)

WOMAN: Oh, isn't this beautiful, hon-(Camera pulls back to show that the seat next to her is empty) Honey?

(Cut to another theatre. The woman's husband is watchinga movie, and we can hear violent explosion sounds coming from the screen. He jumps up and cheers)

(Back to the other theatre. The woman just looks at the seat and shrugs. Then she goes back to crying at the movie)