NOTE...WARNING...BLAH...BLAH... today's jokes are REALLY,
REALLY GROSS... so if you don't like these types... nuke it now.
But click review or I'll stick my ugly face out of your
monitor and barf all over your keyboard....ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Joke # 1: Gross me out number 1...

Two guys, one an idiot, were on a long drive back from a fishing trip
when one turned to the idiot and said he needed to go to the bathroom.

So they stopped the truck and he went behind the bushes.
When he came back the idiot said "Wow...that was fast!"

"Well, I have to go too said the idiot, but I have to take a dump and I
ain't got nothing to wipe my butt with!"

The other guys says, "That's easy!
Just go on back, pull out a dollar, and wipe your butt with it when you're all finished."
"A-Ha! O.K." the dingbat says as he goes back over to the bush.

Later, he comes back with a really upset look on his face and poo all over his hands.
"That was a terrible idea! he says...
Not only did I get poo all over me, now I've got 10 Dimes Stuck up my butt!"

Joke # 2: Gross me out number 2...

An attorney went into a bar for a Martini and found himself beside a scruffy-looking
drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand. He leaned closer while
the drunk held the tiny object up to the light, slurring, "Well, it looks plastic."
Then he rolled it between his fingers, adding, "But it feels like rubber."

Curious, the attorney asked, "What do you have there?"
The drunk replied, "I don't know, but it looks like plastic and feels like rubber."
The attorney responded, "Let me take a look."

So the drunk handed it over and the lawyer rolled between his thumb and fingers,
then examined it closely by sniffing and licking it. "Yeah, it does look like plastic
and feel like rubber, has no significant smell or taste, I sure don't know what it is.
Where did you get it?"

The drunk replied, "Out of my nose..."