Do you know what it's like to be empty?
To have nothing within you?

The sun is dull and the sky is always grey
Flowers have no scent and food has no taste
You cannot smile
Laughter chokes you
Every day is endless torture
Every breath is pain
Only sleep is safety and even this is pervaded by this. . .
Emptiness

You look but you do not see
You listen but you do not hear
You talk but you do not speak
You touch but you do not feel

There is nothing
Only
Only. . . Pain
And this pain is in everything

In the food that you eat
In the water that you drink
In the words that are spoken
In the songs you hear
In sunlight
In rain
In wind
In snow
In the very air that you breath

It consumes you. . . Slowly
From within
It preys upon your mind
Dragging you down mercilessly into it's dark, swirling depths

It has no pity
No remorse
It only wants to devour you whole

Then you are screaming
And screaming
You beg
You plead
You sob
To be heard

But no hears your silent voice
No one sees the tears shed in the night

The pain fills you
You are pain
You are nothing but pain

Dark,
Endless,
Aching and Anguished,
Everlasting,
Never ending
Pain

Then you stand
Looking out into the infinite depths of eternity
And see nothing
Nothing but pain

No laughter
No smiles
No joy
No happiness
No Hope
Only. . .

Pain

Then you stand alone
A glass of water in one hand
Pills in the other
You stand there
And you cry
And you cry. . .

You look at the pills
Look at the end of your life
Seeing only the end of your pain

And you cry. . .

You look in the mirror
And you see only pain
Life is only pain
The time is come to leave pain

I lift the pills to my lips
May my passing hurt those who have hurt me
May they be sorry
Really sorry

And I cry. . .

And in that first instant of eternity
I remember
That you never hurt me
I remember
How you love me
I remember
What you have done

You will cry for me
You will weep for me
No one will ever take my place with you
I know there will always be the aching emptiness in your heart
The emptiness that I was to fill
I know. . .

I know emptiness
I know pain

You know the emptiness
You know pain
I see your face as you lift it to heaven
"Why hast thou forsaken me?"

I am not alone in Pain
You are here beside me
You're arms are strong around me

I throw the pills away

Sick
Throwing up
Unable to stop
Sick with what I almost did
How I almost hurt you

May I never cause you such pain
May I never think of hurting you so
May I always love you

There are still days when the sun won't shine
There are days when others hurt me
There are still days when smiling hurts
There is still the Pain

But now. . .
Now there is more then the pain
There is something stronger then the pain
There is you
And I love you. . .

Dedicated to the one who saved my life that day.