Data 12.6 - The Two Pretenders

Slowly the haze surrounding me fluttered away, leaving only a dull headache in its place. Yeah, this was altogether too
familiar. I'd woken up like this too many times in the last few days. I really ought to work on staying conscious...

I opened my eyes tentatively, not entirely sure where I was or what was happening. I was lying on a futon, with a bunch
of people seated on the floor around me. Did I know them? Yes... little by little I began to recognize them. They were
my friends.

And they were speaking, as well. I could only catch little bits of what they were saying, and I couldn't really figure
out who was saying what.

"... waking up."

"Oh, thank... I thought she would..."

"No, though... she got lucky this time. I shall... discussion with her..."

I sat up, but for some reason I couldn't answer them Why was my throat so constricted? Why couldn't I hear them
properly? Why was my vision blurred so badly?

"... she really alright? I mean... how she's shaking..."

... What?

Now that I looked, my hands were indeed shaking. Why were they shaking? No, not just my hands... my whole body. Why did
they have to say something like that? I could have forgotten if they hadn't said anything. But once I noticed, I
couldn't help but remember...

Kanako's memory of her father. That one scene that changed her life forever, turning her into a pale shadow of her former
self. If it was so powerful as to do that to her, then...

For the second time, I couldn't finish my thought. I felt my pulse weakening by the second and clutched at my heart
reflexively. I tried to calm down, I tried to tell myself that there was no reason to be so scared and saddened. After
all, it wasn't my memory, it was just...

I saw it again. The exact same scene. Kanako's father getting thrown through the window with a hole in his chest, his
face and arms cut apart by the glass shards. Except instead of the face of Kanako's father...

It was the face of my own father.

Again, the scene replayed. Now it was my mother's face. It started over again. This time, Sahari's face. Again. Now
Scott. Again. Yasuna. Again. Yuuko. Again. Again. Again! Again! Again!

I cried out unbidden. I couldn't keep it locked in. It took all the strength I had just to keep hold of my senses.
A ringing in my ears told me I was screaming again, but I didn't care anymore. I just wanted these horrible sights to
disappear. But whether my eyes were closed or open, I still saw that horrific scene. The sounds around me were dull and
muted, taking a backseat to that too-vivid memory.

There was a commotion I was only partially aware of. I heard voices, many of them, shouting and clamoring. I heard my
name a few times, but nothing else came through clearly. Suddenly I felt someone grab my shoulders, and I instinctively
knew they were right in front of me.

I grabbed them and hugged them tightly. I didn't even care who it was. I wrapped my arms around them and squeezed as
hard as I could. I just wanted to keep them near me, to reassure myself they weren't going away. "Don't die," I chanted
along with my sobs. "Don't die, don't die, don't die, don't die..."

I don't know how long I was like that. I couldn't keep track of time, or what was happening around me, or anything. For
all I knew, I would just keep feeling that forever until I went insane. For a while, I thought I really had gone mad. In
Kanako's case, the terror of seeing her father die gave way to other emotions: sadness, fear, and self-loathing. But
because I was torn away at that moment... all I felt was the shock and horror of that moment, stretched out into
infinity.

By the time it finally passed my throat was dry and sore. It felt like I had been screaming for hours. Maybe I had. My
arms released their grip, enervated, and for the first time I looked at who I had clutched onto. "Y...Yuuko...?" I
rasped.

Yuuko gave me a strained smile. "Are you alright now? Thank goodness... I thought you would never let go of me. That
really did hurt quite a bit."

I slowly pulled my arms off of her, and that's when I noticed...

Blood. Blood on my fingernails. Don't tell me I dug them in so hard that-!

"It's not so bad," Yuuko reassured me as she reached over her shoulder. "The cuts have already healed... there isn't a
single mark on me. It's incredible, isn't it? This power... even after I had my soul ripped out of my body, I was able
to grow a new one. I never would have survived being attacked by Kumouri Mukuro-san otherwise. It doesn't do anything
about the pain... but my pain was nothing compared to yours, wasn't it?"

I didn't want to sound conceited but it was probably true. The after-images still lingered in my mind, as if burned
permanently into my memory. I'll probably never be able to forget it.

Neither will Kanako. I understand why she's like this now.

"Takigi-san said something while you were unconscious," Yuuko told me. "He said that psychic abilities are born from a
person's hopes, fears, worries, and dreams. I... to be honest, I was a little jealous of all of you. You all had dreams
of the future, and things you were good at. I didn't have any good points at all... I quit the cheerleading team because
I couldn't move the way I wanted to anymore, and I'm not smart enough to be a good police officer like my father. So I
always thought, 'If I cannot help my friends, I should at least never be a burden to them'. I think that's why my ability
became like this... it's so that no one will ever have to worry about me. No matter what happens, I'll be alright." I...
had no idea. I didn't think Yuuko actually thought like this. It made me feel... "melancholic", I think is the word.

She continued, "The others... I don't think they've realized what that really means. Toriko... why do you think your
power is to read minds?"

I had to scratch my head at that. Why WAS that? All this time I had wondered why I had special powers at all, and I
never thought of why my psychic ability was this, specifically. "I don't know. I don't really think of myself as nosy,
and-"

"It's because you're insecure."

EH?!

"You act very strong and capable, Toriko. But at the back of your mind you're always thinking, 'They did not see through
me, right?' I hide my true self too, so of course I would notice if someone else did that. But I just don't want people
to worry about me...

"You were so worried about how people saw you that you never noticed... we didn't care what kind of person you were
underneath. You've always been there for us, Toriko. No matter how bad things were for us, you always knew just what to
say or do to make it okay. I'm just sorry you had to force yourself so much... I'm sorry that we weren't good enough to
trust your true self with..."

"That's not it at all!" I denied. "I... really thought I was like that. I told myself I was strong so much that I
believed it. You guys are the best friends I've ever had... I just didn't want to lose that. That's all."

Yuuko just smiled softly. "And did you really think we'd leave you? You're our friend, Toriko... no matter what, we'd
never leave you alone."

"I... I can't pretend to be strong anymore..."

"It's alright," she whispered in my ear. "You can depend on us, too. I'm sure everyone else feels the same way." I
really hoped she was right. Especially Sahari... I hadn't been a very good friend to her lately.

"Thank you," I whimpered as I held her tightly. "I... I'll try to depend on you guys. But... I'm a little out of
practice. So..."

"I can be patient," she said. "And that's not the 'me' that doesn't want to be a bother... that's how I really feel.
Please believe that."

I let out a nervous laugh. What was I so worried about? My fears seemed so unfounded now, and I felt so relieved. Could
I dare to hope that my friends were just as good as I'd always thought?

"As nice as this is, we'd better reassure everyone else," Yuuko said. "You've been screaming for a while, I'm sure they'd
like to hear you're feeling better again." I could only nod in assent. My body was still kinda weak, so I had to lean on
Yuuko for support as I stood up. Once I was up I could walk on my own, albeit a little slowly.

She led me out of the dark guest room and into the main room. Everyone was waiting there, relieved but apprehensive.
After all, I'd recovered once today only to freak out again. "Sorry for worrying you all. I'm... still a little rattled,
honestly. But I've got it under control right now."

Sahari crossed her arms. "You'd better not be saying that just to not make us worry about you."

"No, no! I'm feeling better now. A bit tired, but I think I'll be okay now."

Takigi-san was frowning deeply, and staring hard enough to put a hole in my skull. "I must tell you in all seriousness...
never do that so recklessly again."

"'That'?"

"Your ability is growing stronger. It now allows you to relive the memories of others, seeing events of the past through
their eyes and their heart. There are three important dangers to it that you must realize, however. The first... well, say
you have a glass of water. If you take an eyedropper and put a single drop of orange juice into it, you would hardly
notice the difference. But if you then add a drop of milk, and then a drop of wine, and then a drop of paint, and just
keep adding different substances one after another... then pretty soon you can't call it 'water' anymore."

"You really love analogies today," I commented. "Especially ones that are hard to follow."

"I'm saying that when your mind merges with another, you leave a part of yourself and take a part of them. It is not
quantifiable, and certainly not a significant amount; something like a cup of water taken from ocean. However, if not
used carefully, then over time they will become a significant amount... and then you won't be yourself anymore."

That's bad.

"I'm certain you're already aware of the second danger. Extremely emotional memories will overload your ability,
delivering a potentially lethal backlash similar to what happens if you try to listen to too many thoughts at once. This
does not just apply to traumatic events; an extremely happy memory will have the same effect on you as a very sad one.
That is twice you have dodged this particular bullet, Toriko-dono. Your luck will run out eventually and probably sooner
than you think, so I would be extremely careful which memories you experience. Remember, it is your ability and that
means you can control it. If you think the emotional impact of what you are experiencing is becoming too strong, I highly
recommend you break away immediately. Otherwise you might just die."

That's worse!

"The third is less of a warning, and just something you need to be aware of. The emotions of the memories you experience
will linger for some time afterwards. Though they happened to others, you will feel them as your own emotions.
Furthermore, because they are not yours, you will be unable to deal with them as you would your own; they will wane in
strength on their own, and not due to anything you do or feel. You lived through the emotional trauma of a single
horrific moment for three hours. I believe this was the cause of your... episode."

That's a real funny word to use.

"Though an overly dramatic example, it illustrates my point; if you relive a happy memory, you yourself will be happy
regardless of what happens around you. I can't say for certain how long it will affect you, but my hypothesis is that it
will vary depending on the strength of the memories encountered. Please remember this."

So my ability got powered up again. Lucky me. I know I said I wasn't going to complain so much about this anymore,
but come on! Aren't there enough ways for my power to inconvenience or kill me already? Sheesh.

I skipped out of the strategy meeting. I still wasn't feeling too well, and everyone felt I needed to get back home and
rest. In reality, I had someplace that I needed to stop by sooner rather than later... and if I didn't catch her now, who
knew when the next chance would be?