I’d Rather Not

The brief warm

Is only a prelude to the inevitable cold

Your hazy form reluctant

With the finality of our embrace

            Rain shatters

            Through the curtness of my tone

            It’s weak, yet firm in its rugged stance

            Unwilling to take the risk

Because I’d rather not watch the distance grow

I’d rather not see bitterness in your smile

I’d rather pretend not to know

That you’d undoubtedly walk away

            Your gaze holds confused

            My words a stark contrast to our blind actions

            And I find myself willing away the temptation

            To cause you to forget

Forget what I’ve just professed

My unthinking, unkind words

Only a means to extricate you from my mind

To protect myself from the unknown

            Because I’d rather not watch the distance grow

            I’d rather not see bitterness in your smile

            I’d rather pretend not to know

            That you’d undoubtedly walk away

Disbelieving tears blur your vision

And I understand now, to a full effect

What I’ve accomplished

Is nothing…

            Nothing but rid myself of your presence

            Left only with this sullen memory

            Your features contorted

            Into something I’ve never caused

            Hurt

And all I can breathe through venomous lips

Is a sole uttering, but I’ve said enough

You simply nod a faint understanding as I whisper

“I’d rather not.”