NEVER MEANT -or (more selfish title)- WASN'T PLANED LIKE THIS

I wanted to tell you many things
I always lied to you
I loved you
I love you still

I'm so stupid
I'm afraid now
I'm alone
I'm lost without you

I told you I hated you
I never really meant it
when I yelled at you
to stay away from my path
to stay far from my sight

But you never left me
until now
what am I gonna do now?
I feel so empty inside

I want you back
I don't wan't you to be far from me
I was being stubborn when I said that
Is there anything I can do to fix that?

I guess not
well I'm on my own now
anway is my fault
is payback time now