It was a few days after March and I was beginning to feel tired. Not like physically tired, but emotionally. I was tired of my life and the way I was treated. I was a loser in school, not only a loser, but picked on every day. I wasn't the prettiest girl, but I surely wasn't the ugliest. I had been picked on since 2nd grade, when I was still picking my nose. I don't do it anymore, but I pee in bed. I have a bladder problem and I lost my best and only friend the night she spent the night like that. She had fallen asleep on the bed beside me when we were watching a movie one day and then I turned off the T.V. and fell quickly asleep, joining her in dreams. Then I was waken up by a shrill, short scream. She had almost puked when she saw that I had peed in bed, and on her. She called me a gross pig, words that stung me like a wasp. It hurt and that was the last time we talked.

Now she hangs out with the popular group and I am still on the loser side of life. She had spread the rumors around fast and I sunk lower into the group then ever. My parents were never there for me, they were out partying, getting drunk and high and sleeping all day. I tried to come to them to tell them to tranfer me to a different school or something but they just offered me a beer and a cigarette to "calm my nerves". I guess that was when suicide crossed my mind.

I bought 3 packs of sleeping pills from the local drugstore and stared at them over and over until I was fully convinced that this was my last hope. Maybe God would have mercy on my soul and I'd have someone to talk to. I was sitting on a swing in an old, abandoned park. No one ever went there because a murder had taken place here and the killer was never caught. I was never afraid of the killed. If fact, I silently begged him to kill me and put me out of my misery. After a few months of no success, I bought the pills and decided to take fate into my own hands.

I swallowed the first pack, not feeling anything at all. Then I finished the second and third. I felt a deep pain within my stomach and got off the swing to lay on the cool sand below. I could feel some pains, none as great as the first. I pushed a strand of my red hair behind my ear, wanting to enjoy as much as possible. I could feel my eyelids weighing more and more, pushing down on my eyes until I could no longer resist.

I closed my eyes and collapsed into an everlasting dream.