These pop up screens have driven me bonkers! Here is a short little story I wrote to express my aggravation over these annoying little buggers. Hopefully you still enjoy it even though I don't consider it my best work.

Disclaimer: I do not own pop up adds! Thankfully!

The Fight Against the Pop Up Adds

By RedLady

The sinister little king looked out of his business-sized window in his cooperated castle. He had just signed an agreement to breed more pop up adds. He smiled to himself evilly. Now there would be more pop ups than ever before!

"I am the pop up king!" He yelled and then started laughing hysterically because that is what I imagine evil crazy guys do. He laughed like that for about an hour till a woman wearing a black cloak busted down his doors to his great and powerful throne room decorated with famous pop up pictures.

He looked at her in shock. No one ever busted into his castle before. She held one of those hand help arrow shooters and looked at him menacingly.

"How did you get in here?" He asked astounded. "How did you get past all my pop up gaurds! I am the pop up king! There were millions guarding me."

"You may be the pop up king, but I am the pop up slayer!" The woman said pointing her weapon at him.

"How can it be! No one's gotten past them before!"

"As I said I'm the pop up slayer. I kill pop ups. And now it is time for you to die and end your cruel pop up add reign!"

He looked at her fearfully eyeing the weapon. "Please don't kill me." He said as humble as he could. "Sorry." The slayer said menacingly. "I represent the people and they are tired of your vicious pop up ads!"

"Can't we at least make an agreement?" The king asked.

"No!" The woman said with an evil glint in her eye and walked over to the king in a snake like manner.

When the man could see that there was no compromising with this woman his look turned to mocking smirk. "You think I will go that easy!" He yelled.

The slayer stopped looking suspiciously at the king with his glorious crown he ordered from one of the pop up ads.

"I still have some pop ups up my sleeve!" He yelled and sure enough hundreds of pop ups shot out of his sleeves.

"Well looks like I'll need a better weapon." The slayer said to herself and reached into her magical bag pulling out a huge bazooka and hefting it onto her shoulders.

"This ought to take a lot out at one time!" She said looking challengingly at the smirking king.

She shot her bazooka over and over and the pop ups which had been flying her way burst into flames and died. The ashes fell to the floor and the pop up king looked on in fear.

The woman pulled out all sorts of weapons from her magical bag. You name it, she had it.

"Time to die!" The slayer said teasingly to the king.

"No! Please. . ." the king begged knowing now that he was surely lost.

"Your pop up reign will now come to an end."

"Nooo." The king whimpered falling to his knees scared for his life.

The slayer set each weapon she had on the table and tied the king to his pop up ad chair and got ready to kill him. She decided to have a little fun with him first.

"Your pop up ads have caused us too much misery." She stated grabbing the first weapon as the king looked on with wide fearful eyes. "Now it's pay back time." She said smiling menacingly.

(Due to the graphic material in the next part of this scene, we could not include it for those with weak stomachs and/or hearts. We are sorry for the inconvenience but just know this: The pop up king after many agonizing hours of torture is dead. His pop up reign has ended and a peace sweeps through the land free from the terrible siege of the pop up screens. Now back to the story.)

The two men sat on top of a pile of hay in their wagon enjoying the sunny day free from any annoying pop up screens.

"Nice day huh?" One asked the other.

"Yep. Now that their are no more pop up ads we can actually enjoy it." The other answered.

"What? No pop up to block out the sun today!" The man said jokingly.

The other man laughed as they continued to take in the warm rays of the sunny sun.

"So it's been a week now since the Pop Up Slayer killed the pop up king, eh?" One said finally breaking the peaceful silence.

"Yep. There hasn't been a pop up in sight!" The other sighed happily.

"Of course now The Slayer's out of a job." The man said.

"I'm sure she'll manage. Besides she can live off that pension plan all of us towns people provided for her. And if she's looking for work there's always hay to be piled here."

The other man laughed. "Yeah that would excite her." The man said sarcastically.

"I guess we should got to work." The other man interrupted. The man sighed annoyed at the end of the peaceful break. They both grabbed their pitchforks and started to stack hay piles when suddenly a square like form zipped by them. They looked around astounded.

"What was that!?" One man asked afraid.

"I don't know. It looked like . . . ."

". . .A pop up." The other man finished for him. They looked at each other in fear.

"Impossible." One man said.

"We'd better go report this to the slayer." The other said. And with that they threw down their pitchforks and ran as fast as they could to town afraid that the pop up might torture them.

"So there's been reports of some pop ups around have there?" The slayer speculated.

"Yes ma'am." A servant said nervously.

"How could that be. I killed the pop up king. Without him it is impossible for pop ups to exist."

"I fear for the worse ma'am." The servant answered.

"Then you suspect that the pop up screens must be getting their power from another leader?" The pop up slayer asked.

"It seems to be the only way the pop ups could still be here."

"I should have known that this adventure wasn't over." The slayer speculated. "All well. More pop ups for me to kill. No big deal." She said standing retrieving her magic bag and a long shiny sword poisoned with pop up killer.

She walked out the door and to the old pop up castle with the sun shining behind her back. Who knew what awaited her.

The pop up slayer burst through the doors of the old pop ups king's castle and was surprised to see a small overly dressed woman in the dead pop up kings chair. The woman in the chair wore the old pop up king's crown and smirked at the slayer tauntingly like.

"Who are you?" The slayer demanded pointing her long sword in the woman's direction.

"I am the pop up queen. Who else would I be!" The woman answered in a taunting voice.

The slayer's eyes widened. "I didn't know that the pop up king had a wife."

"Well he did and I am she." The queen answered. "And what are you gonna do about it!" she spat at the slayer.

The slayer's eyes narrowed. "I will kill you, just like I did your husband. You should have fled when you had a chance." Then the pop up slayer walked challengingly up to the queen, her sword ready.

The queen just smiled and pressed a little red button on her chair. Suddenly some pop ups flew out of the wall and surrounded the slayer.

Before the slayer could react millions of phrases filled her mind.

"Win a free vacation!"

"DVD's for a dollar each!"

"Betcha can't hit this!"

"Find your missing classmates!"

NO! She fell onto her knees as the millions of pop up add phrases filled her head! So many useless phrases!

"Got milk!"

"Get a college education!"

"You could be our lucky winner!"

"Sell your home in a small amount of time!"

"Subscribe to our magazine!"

The slayer fell to the floor clutching her head. The agony! So many ads! So many useless information!

"As you see," The pop up queen declared. "I am much smarter than my husband."

She walked over to the slayer who was clutching her head in pain. She stood over her triumphantly and said, "I have bred a new breed of pop ups. Better and stronger than before. I see even the slayer can't beat their psychic powers!"

Then she started laughing hysterically as the slayer fell deeper and deeper into agony as the phrases found on pop up screens echoed through her mind.

"Come check out our web site!"

"Join our club!"

"Free newsletter!"

"Buy a new car!"

"Do you have good insurance?"

Finally the slayer couldn't take it anymore and she died. Her lifeless body fell as her soul drifted up to heaven.

"I knew it was a good idea to join forces with the junk mail chief leader!" The pop up queen muttered as the pop up slayer's soul drifted into heaven.

In heaven an archangel and famous pop up killer met the slayer there. She received a good place in pop-up-killer heaven and is revered as a god in the forsaken town where she lived.

The archangel feeling sorry for the town which was overrun by extra strong pop up screens, gave out pop up blockers to those that came to him for help. The pop up queen still ruled though greatly suppressed because of the archangel's blockers. She was only aloud to influence those that didn't go to the angel for help. And so even though pop ups still live to annoy us we may still have some security from the archangel.

There is a new form of annoyance though. And it includes everything from porn to a promised college degree. When the pop up queen's pop ups were blocked the junk mail chief leader decided to try and reign over his lands with more vigor than before. But the archangel also gave out blockers for his junk mail too. So now the people of the little land called Internet, enjoy there compromised peace, yet wait for another terror which might follow the pop ups and junk mail. No one knows what it is, but people wait everyday; waiting for the next annoyance to complain to the archangel about. Hopefully whatever it is, he can give out blockers for that too.

: )

To join our fight against the pop up screens please contribute money so we can train more pop up slayers. Call us over the phone at 1-800-55POPUP. Or volunteer at your nearest Pop Up Army Corps. (P.U.A.C.). If you notice any suspicious pop up activity, please contact your nearest internet blocker. For more information visit us at our web site at . Have a nice day.

If you are still with us in the fight against pop ups you will now be further entertained with my poem on pop up screens dying. Pop ups can make you crazy as they have made me. Do not let them get you!

Pop ups need to die

Poem by Instability, RedLady's alternate personality

Die pop ups! Die!

All pop ups in the world need to die!

This is a entry on those annoying pop up screens that just won't die!
People die!

Right now people are dying!

But who cares!

All the things that need to die, won't die!

Like pop up screens!

Die pop ups, die!

I will kill you.

Curses upon you!

Die!

Die!

Die!

Thus die I.

Now I am dead!

Now I am fled!

Tongue loss thy light!

Moon, take thy flight!

Thus die!

Die!

Die!

Now he is dead!

Now he is fled!

With a help of a surgeon he just might recover!

Die!

And they all died!

Die!

Did I mention that all pop up screens need to die!

Die pop ups!

Die popples!

Die!

(If you just wasted your time reading this poem about me killing pop up screens, than good for you!)

Now you will receive and award.

A cruise to the pop up screen hang out place where you can go on a killing spree!

Die!

Did I mention anything about death!

Die!

Well by now.

The End.

Pop up screens have gone to heaven finally.

Or to hell.

One can never quite tell where they go . . .

After death.

They just all need to die because they make my computer act funny.

It must be an allergic reaction to those dang pop up screens.

OK. Now I am done with all this die stuff.

Hopefully by now, pop up screens are finally dead.

Do not under estimate the power of the pop up screens! Just look what they did to me!

RedLady

(Based on a true story.)

NOT!

Now if you are still blessing me with your presence and have finally read all the way to this sentence there are just two things you can do. Kill some pop ups and review my story. Thank you and good night!