Insanity
11:00 P.M.
It's almost midnight.
Darkness outside my window,
No light save for the moons.

Darkness is blackness,
Blackness is nothing,
Nothing is life.

Life.
What does it stand for?
What does it mean?

Life is of the living,
Living is of dying,
Dying is to not exist.

So this is what I am.
Not existing.
Life is no life, this is I.

I feel like a shell,
Just maturing,
Yet dying all the same.
No one sees me,
They see through me.
Everyone talks to me,
But they never care.

I'm not pretty; I'm not ugly too.
I'm not smart, neither am I dumb.
I'm artistic, yet colorblind at the same time.
I'm not crazy, but sane I am not.
I don't love, nor do I hate.
I'm not I am cold.

I feel like a shell,
Growing outside, not in.
I feel nothing,
Yet immense pain all the time.
I'm invisible,
No one knows I'm there.
People talk,
But not to me.

This insanity runs through me,
It makes me doubt.
I doubt my family,
I doubt what they say.
Everyone seems phony,
Their smiles never feel warm.
I doubt who I am,
For I can't seem to figure myself out.

Do you think I'm insane?

This is the 3rd in my "self discovery" series! This was written at
the seat of a toilet. My inspiration comes at odd times. And
no you perverts, I wasn't peeing. I was just sitting on the lid of the
toilet. I added a whole new verse that makes me really like how this poem
comes together.