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Hey. One of these things is kinda happening to me. It gave me an idea for this story. Hope you guys like it! Please review and tell me what you think. Thanks!
“Sakura! Could you please get the phone?”
Unfortunately Sakura’s mother had no idea what was going on in Sakura’s room. Since her daughter didn’t answer, she figured she was listening to music. She walked over to the phone and picked it up.
“Hello?”
“Hi honey. How’s everything?”
“Everything is fine. How’s work?”
“Work is a pain in the ass. Three people called out sick and we have an important meeting today. How’s the baby?”
“Maria’s fine. My mother is watching her.”
“Ok. Just wanted to check on you and the baby. I’ll see you later.”
“Bye!”
Sakura’s mother hung up the phone. She checked her watch and saw it was 4:30.
‘Hmm…Sakura’s not down here watching her favorite show. She’s been acting weird lately.’
She walked upstairs and knocked on Sakura’s door.
“Sakura?”
No one answered.
‘Must have her headphones on.’
She walked back downstairs and went to the kitchen. She took out an onion. She opened the drawer to get out the knife, but couldn’t seem to find it.
“Where could that knife be?”
She remembered that Sakura was in the kitchen before. She walked back upstairs and went over to Sakura’s room to see if she knew where it went. She knocked on the door.
“Sakura!”
Again, there was no answer. She knocked again, this time a little harder and the door opened enough for her to peak in. Sakura’s mom looked in and saw no one. She opened it all the way and walked in.
“Sakura?”
She saw a body on the floor. She walked over to it. She screamed in horror at what she saw.
“Oh my! No!”
Sakura’s body was lying on the floor lifeless in a puddle of blood, knife by her side. Both her wrists were cut. Sakura’s mom fell to her knees and cried.
“My poor baby! Why did you do this? Everyone cared about you. You’re family, friends, and even your boyfriend. Why?”
She turned Sakura over and lightly touched her cold face.
“You were so beautiful. Why! Why did you do this?”
Her tears fell onto Sakura’s pale cheek. Her mother placed her back down and stood up. She noticed something on Sakura’s bed.
“What’s that?”
She walked over to the bed and sat down. She picked up the diary lying on Sakura’s bed.
“She had a diary? Maybe I should read this.”
She wiped her tears and opened the book.
February 20
Dear Diary,
Hi. Ever since my baby sister was born, things have been going down hill. I brought this diary to help me get my feelings out before I do something I’ll regret. I feel like I have no one to talk to. So I’m now talking to a book, interesting. Anyway…my sister was born in September. Since then, I’ve gotten no attention. Yeah I know I’m 13, but I still need someone to come into my room at night and tell me they love me. When my father calls he doesn’t ask about me anymore. It’s always about Maria. I feel like I’m just a shadow. Always following, always there, but after awhile you don’t notice it anymore. And one day that shadow will disappear. I just hope that won’t happen to me. Well I must do some homework now. See you next time!
Peace
Sakura
“I had no idea she felt this way. Why didn’t she talk to me.”
She turned the page and continued reading.
February 21
Dear Diary,
Hey it’s me again. I read over my first entry and realized I left some things out. It seemed like I never tried to talk to my mom. However that’s not true. I did try and talk to her. Whenever I would go to talk to her, she’d say “Not now Sakura the baby needs me” or “I’m busy right now, ask me later.” or “Ask your father.” So if she said the last one, I’d go to my dad. I’d try and talk to him. He’d say basically the same things that my mom said. Only he had another one, one that hurt me so much… “I’m watching a game right now, ask me later.” I knew he never loved me! I’m watching a game! Really, how heartless can you be? I didn’t know TV was more important than your child. Gotta go now, just had to get that out.
Peace
Sakura
March 7
Dear Diary,
I’m very depressed right now. I know I’ve changed a lot since last year. I’m very different from my friends now…I listen to different music, have different opinions, see the world differently, dress differently, but I’m sill the same person I was last year. My friends just don’t seem to understand that. We’re drifting apart. I hung out with them so much last year, especially my friend Amy. Every day I was either at her house or she was at my house. She was kinda bratty, but not to me. Well, at least she wasn’t. This year she has to comment on everything about me… music, clothes, opinions, and even the color I painted my nails. I have no friends that are like me. I know nobody who is or has gone through what I am. I have no one to talk to, or maybe no one wants to listen. That’s why I’m writing this. There is no way I could keep these emotions inside of me. I still have one person left that, my boyfriend Mike. Well, maybe not for long. You see he never really calls anymore and I barely see him…reminds me of my friends.
Peace
Sakura
Sakura’s mother couldn’t believe what she was reading.
‘This is how she felt. This is why she was acting so weird.’
She turned the page.
March 24
Dear Diary,
You won’t believe what happened today. My heart has been torn apart twice. Ok it all started 4th period. My semi friend Kayla asked me if I was going to Amy’s party. I was like what party? And she was like…you mean you didn’t get invited. So I was thinking about that until 9th period when I saw Amy. I asked her why I wasn’t invited to her party and she told me that she didn’t want to be friends anymore. Right then I felt my heart break into a million pieces. Was I such a bad person that no one liked me? I felt so sick and sad that I told my gym teachers 10th period I didn’t feel good and sat out of my favorite class. Then if that wasn’t bad enough, when I was walking home (because my mom is too busy with the baby or maybe she just doesn’t want to be bothered with me) I saw Mike with another girl. Guess who that girl was… it was my old best friend Amy. I hate that fucking whore! I just looked at them, couldn’t even find my voice. Mike just said that he didn’t like me anymore. He said he likes girls with looks. My heart broke even more, if that’s even possible. Wasn’t he the one who told me I was so beautiful? Was that a lie? Is my life a lie? Does God find it funny to play around with people’s lives and is he playing with mine? When I got home my mom was busy with the baby, as usual. I ran upstairs into my room and looked in the mirror. I saw a pretty 13-year-old. False reflection I said. I punched the mirror. Why do they lie to you? Are mirrors some kind of joke? I’m no beauty Mike even said so. I have a hand cramp so I’m going to stop writing.
Peace
Sakura
Her mother began crying. She felt her daughter’s pain.
‘Had no idea this happened.’
She turned the page.
April 2
Dear Diary,
I can’t take this anymore. Everyday I sit alone in my room and cry. Cry and write. I don’t know what to do anymore. I hate my fucking life! Just when it seems that it can’t get any fucking worse it does. Is my tortured soul amusing the people in Heaven? Does my pain make them laugh? I’m so depressed that I just sit in class and stare at the teacher. I haven’t done any homework and I failed all my tests. One of my teachers noticed my odd behavior and asked me about it. He said he sees me walking alone in the hallways. When we do group work, I work alone. I told him everything was fine, but I take it he didn’t believe me because I got called down to guidance. The guidance counselor asked me if anything was wrong. I told her no and if she asked me anything, I wasn’t answering. She told me to go back to class. When I got home, my mother was waiting for me at the door, holding Maria. I fucking hate her! She started yelling at me about the letter she got from my school. She asked why I wasn’t paying attention or participating and why was I failing tests? I really wanted to scream…maybe if you’d pay attention to me, you’d know the answer! However, I refrained myself from doing so. I just gave her the middle finger and ran up to my room. I guess I pissed her off because she told me I was punished and couldn’t go out. Maybe I should have yelled that, then she’d know I have no where to go. I just sat in my room and cried. Then I wrote this. I wish I’d just die right now. I’ve tried, but I’m too chicken. I try cutting my wrists, but I just can’t seem to do it. Maybe I should live longer. Perhaps something good will happen.
Peace
Sakura
Sakura’s mother was so upset. Why didn’t she notice this? She wondered what else she didn’t know. She turned the page and read on.
April 6
Dear Diary,
I can’t go on like this much longer. My pain seems to burn within me. It never leaves. My mom and dad barely talk to me. The only time they do is when they yell at me. I don’t want to live anymore. I’m just a waste of air. I’m so sad. I feel so dead inside. All I can do is cry. Writing in this diary doesn’t seem to be helping, but I’m going to keep writing because I need to sort out my feelings. I haven’t laughed in so long. I forgot what happiness feels like. This fucking sucks so badly. School seems to be laughing at me. I sit all alone at lunch and watch my “friends” laugh and talk. I watch couples talk and smile. Then I look at myself. I see a lonely teen that has no one. I wish I could end my life. Is this another thing God is doing? Is he making sure I stay alive to witness more pain? Can I even feel anymore pain? I have so many questions that will probably never be answered. They say life has its twist and turns, but everyone’s lives seem to be pretty straight compared to mine.
Peace
Sakura
Sakura’s mother couldn’t understand why she hadn’t noticed.
“I did notice. I knew something was wrong, I knew she was acting weird. I never even bothered to talk to her. All I did was yell at her. I feel so horrible.”
April 10
Dear Diary,
I think I’m going to kill myself soon. I’ve waited to see if anything good would happen, but it hasn’t. This is so fucking unfair! Why couldn’t this happen to someone else? It’s all Maria’s fault. If she wasn’t born, none of this would have happened. What wrong with me? I’m blaming someone that can’t even walk. I think I’m going insane. I can’t do anything anymore. Everything is so dull. I can’t even think straight. My thoughts jump all over the place. I haven’t talked to anyone. Maybe if someone wanted to listen to me, this wouldn’t be happening. I hear this strange voice in my head. I think I am crazy. It tells me to kill myself and everything will be ok. I think this voice is right. It tells me no one cares about me…right again. My parents are yelling at me for something I didn’t do again.
Peace
Sakura
“My poor baby! I can’t believe I was so oblivious to all this.”
She turned to the page to the last thing that was written.
April 18
Dear Diary,
I’m ending it now. My life is so wrong. There’s no fucking way I’m living another day. There’s no need to say goodbye to anyone. They’ll probably be happy I’m gone. I was just in the way. I wonder who they’ll blame everything on now. After I’m done writing this, I will be dead. I hope everyone is happy. I realized that they have all killed me. First it was Amy, then Mike, then my parents and everyone. No one cared enough to ask me what was wrong, only my teacher, but I knew he didn’t really care. I just probably pissed him off because I wasn’t paying attention. Goodbye diary…you were the only one who listened to me, the only one who knew how I felt. I bet no one notices I’m gone.
Bye forever
Sakura
Her mother’s tears streamed down her face like a waterfall. They dropped onto the page. She closed the book and got up off the bed. She walked over to Sakura’s body and kissed her on the forehead.
“I’m so sorry you felt that way. I wish I knew.”
She walked back over the bed and picked up the diary. She heard the front door open and walked downstairs. Her husband saw his wife crying and put an arm around her.
“What’s wrong?”
She couldn’t speak. All she could do was hand him the diary. He opened it and began to read it.
