I wake up with a start
Blood dripping from my mouth
But it was just a nightmare
Just a dream I fear
I wish death would consume me!
I know no one cares
I'd rather be dead
Than live on this dump
A dump that hated me from the beginning
A hate spawned from my own smirk
The one I always wear
A smirk that says
"Life is a joke
But you'll never know
Because you're too wrapped up in your own fucking affairs."
The only hate I have
Is the hate for my maker
A hate spawned from God's own smirk
A smirk that says
"Life is a joke
But you'll never know
Because you're too wrapped up in your own fucking fears!"

You want to know how I feel?
Well, okay, here it goes
I feel like shit because every morning I remember my life is a joke
To you, to him, to everyone it's
"Hey look at that jerk!"
To God, Jesus, and that damn Holy Ghost too
The all laugh until I cry
Until I pray to them to let me die
They don't let me
They leave me here
To see, to wonder, and, of course, to fear

I show as much emotion as I care to receive
So why are you so different that you make me want to internally bleed
Tears well up inside me that will never break the skin
I don't need you to tell me that I'm a walking sin
I beg you, please give me no love
Because returning it is a struggle that my mind just can't win
If you choose to continue giving me your love
You're only hurting yourself
Look at me, I' a bastard
But that's the way I choose to live