Dead or just Unfeeling?

The day I died,

You were never there.

Yet u were always there,

You cared too much,

And not enough at all.

You are the one, who killed me, but you never saw me die.

You never got to see that sad look in my eye.

Because of you I cannot feel, but I can think.

From the outside I haven’t died-I laugh, I play, I breathe and blink.

You killed me slowly, more and more each day,

But never in the exact same way.

For as long as I remember since I was about four or five,

I’ve never really felt totally alive.

I feel, but I can’t show,

And every time I want to laugh-but can’t it hits me like a blow.

Because I realise that with a heart of lead

I may as well be dead.