Epilogue

One year later

© KES

Emily,

So here you are.  It’s been a year, give or take, assuming Ma gives you this letter.  I miss you terribly, but I’m watching you.  I always watch you, just like I used to.  Only this time I can watch you in the shower.  Kidding…kidding.  The dying can have humor, too.

I certainly hope you’re doing well.  Knowing you, you’ve started some foundation already.  Let me guess.  The “Jamal Washington is so hot…you should have saved him foundation”?  Uh…no? 

            I grinned, not only because he was funny, but because he was right.  I had, in fact, started a foundation.  No, not the “Jamal Washington is so hot…you should have saved him foundation,” but it was one all the less.  I raised money for hepatitis and liver cancer treatments and research.

Your senior year is completed!  I’m so proud of you.  And you’ll be at UNC Wilmington this fall.  You’re going to do great…and I’m assuming you’re going to major in education.  You have this way with people.  You care so much about people who don’t even know you exist.

I bet I can guess who your best friend is now.  Brandon!

            I gazed at his headstone, stroking it as if it were him.  He was right yet again.  Brandon and I had become even closer since Jamal’s death.  He filled the void better than anyone had.

To be serious now, I know that you’re still grieving.  I know that you haven’t come to terms with my death yet.  Please consider this.  I am dead, yes, but I am not gone.  I will never be gone if you hold on to the three years of memories we made.  I want you to be happy and to realize that death is a part of life and that overall, I probably made more of a difference with my death than I did with my life.

I believe that you and Justin are probably pretty close, too.

            Right again.

And I bet that you two have avoided dating again simply because of what happened before.  I’m not around to interfere anymore.  What you had with Justin was great and I ruined it.  I know you think I didn’t, but I was selfish because I wanted you to myself.  I guess I just realized at the wrong time how I felt for you and it was wrong of me to try to ruin what you two had.  Try again, if he’s willing.  And I’m sure he is.  Who wouldn’t be?

Finally, I am sorry for promising you that we would have our chance later.  We never got it.  I never got to find out if you were the girl for me.  I wanted to be with you more than I ever wanted anything.  I hope you don’t hold that promise against me.  Maybe I’ll get reincarnated as a cat that will live with you for a long, long time.

Whatever happens, never forget that I loved you.  I will always love you.  Become famous so I can brag that I know you, okay?

I love you forever,

Jamal

            I smiled, the tears welled up in my eyes as I folded the letter and put it back into its envelope.  I gazed at his headstone for a little while longer before turning away.

            I love you, too, I thought as I walked back to my car, knowing that I had to make a stop before I returned home.