Claimer: This is normally where I'd state it's not mine - but it is! MUU HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HARR. yea.
Although, Dates, times, places, events, objects, SN's, and Broadway
musicals are not necessarily mine. Necessarily. (wait for it . . . soon I
shall rule the world . . . real soon . . .)
And I understand it was kinda longish before, so I've tried rewriting more
ov it. Third time lucky, eh?
Common Ground and Holy Land; they may never meet
I turned on the computer at the oversized grey button, reaching into the
dark void beneath and feeling it out. My fingertips traced the lines of the
grey plastic, eventually finding the On. See, my ancient computer was one
of those ones with a freestanding modem, which squatted under my desk. At
just the right height to become a footrest. And when it got running, it
gave off a slight heat. Even better.
I typed in my password, and clicked to establish a link online. Earlier
this year I'd cancelled the second phone line, and now I get everyone to
ring me on my mobile. I hummed along with the tuneful dial tone, and opened
the favorites. Chat room. It opened, and the six others who hung here with
me gave their respective greetings.
And so another day began in my romanticized world of chat and chatter. This
was my utopia, my ultimate reality that I could always escape into, with
friends who I had never met, who would accept me whoever I presented myself
And on that topic - I was female here. Don't ask me how it came about, I'm
not quite sure what came over me when it came to filling out the form on
the e-mail asking my gender . . .
At any rate, being female did have its advantages. I could flirt with
anyone I wanted, I could be sensitive, over-dramatize, and I didn't have to
say "kool" at the end of every line. It was, I decided, the most fun I'd
had in a long time, and it was such a good role playing game . . .
infalliable, with the best of both worlds.
My real life was not so hot.
I would have liked to think of it as a secret double life. By day, I was
Teucer Glayde, with no romantic job, simply a paper shuffler in a big firm.
I was meant to be a psychologist, a Hollywood movie star, or an acclaimed
artist, but due to an overbearing boss and equally overbearing parents
during the teenage years, I ended up combining Psych with Commerce, and
working in a bank.
And yet my normally antisocial tendencies disappeared online, as I stepped
into this sanctuary I had created some time last year. I chatted to these
people constantly, they were like a better version of my family.
When my last relationship fell apart, they were there.
When I accidentally crashed my //old// car (thank the gods), well, they did
send me a virtual get-well-soon card.
The time I got in a major fight with my boss, they suggested I dress up in
something revealing and suck up to him big time. Sure, they thought I was
female, but I gave it a go, and, I orta say, it worked. I even got a slight
promotion, as I was now permitted to make his coffee. Scary, but Yay.
I found myself growing close to these strangers, and was unprepared for the
revelation that one was coming over here. Rodney, screen-named Daemon_
scorcher, was, he said, a fireman from somewhere in the US. Geography means
little when you are as well traveled as I - one click, and I have traveled
all over the world.
But that was then. Now he reckoned he was coming over here.
Why, why, why?
Okay, firstly, 'here' is Perth, Western Australia. Now Perth is a hole. no
one comes here. There is nothing here to come for. It's the same as every
other place. It has suburbs, night clubs, a tiny city, a river. The CBD
spans about 8.7 kilometers. Microscopic, like I said. It just didn't make
sense to me.
At any rate, something had to be done. Daemon_scorcher reckoned he was
coming over here - and he certainly wasn't expecting to meet me. Well, not
like I am.
So I didn't know, straight out, what I course of action I could take.
I basically have no friends I fell I'd be willing to ask to meet Rodney in
my place, in fact, the only person who would even remotely fit the
description would be my little sister, and there was NO WAY I would EVER
ask her. (*blyak*)
It would have been easier if I had stood Daemon up, but these people were
my friends, I didn't know if I could go back after doing that. Besides, a
part of me wanted to know who I'd been talking to for the past year.
Sometimes I had gone cyber with these people - but it was all just talk for
me, I couldn't pretend that much. And the thought of loosing my friends
scared me too much.
The notion occurred to me, I must add, that perhaps I could disguise myself
to adopt the image of a petite attractive brunette, being myself not overly
tall. I stared in the mirror for at least ten minutes, then decided that no
much power or eye shadow would cover up my immediate post-shaving five-o-
clock-shadow, unless I wanted it to look like I was in drag. Besides, I
don't really have the figure.
Eventually, I decided I would just have to tell them the truth. I wasn't
sure how. It got me worried like I had been when I originally went for the
job I have now. What would the others think? I decided it would be easier
if I just told them one at a time. So I whispered Daemon_ scorcher first,
and decided to fess all.
Daemon_ scorcher: Yo
PlaTnIumAnGel: so, u still coming down under?
Daemon_ scorcher: U bet. U still live there?
Daemon_ scorcher: I arrive on the 16 March
PlaTnIumAnGel: that's next week
Daemon_ scorcher: I spose it is. Is there a problem?
PlaTnIumAnGel: well, I do have something to tell you . . .
PlaTnIumAnGel: about who I am.
Daemon_ scorcher: if you're not a gorgeous brunette, that's okay, most
chicks tend to exaggerate their attractiveness over chat.
PlaTnIumAnGel: well, not necessarily that, I am just not a chick.
PlaTnIumAnGel: you still there?
Daemon_ scorcher: WTF??? Are U fooling around?
PlaTnIumAnGel: not really. I am a guy. I just thought you should know if ur
coming over still.
Daemon_ scorcher: gtg, C-ya later
PlaTnIumAnGel: no, wait!
Daemon_ scorcher has left the conversation
Well, what can I say. we had all said some pretty intimate things over the
course of time. Hopefully he wouldn't be too upset. Hopefully he wouldn't
tell the others if he was. I felt pretty bad, and opted to watch TV that
Ho hummmmmm.. (adopts yoga position)
Yeah, righteo then.