Shifty wanted more out of life than being a drifter offered.  He had tried many things, thief, smuggler, even assassin.  None of those positions held his interest much longer than a few months.  Bored with it all he had hopped a trolley one day and followed in until it reached the middle of nowhere. 

He had made certain it was indeed the middle of nowhere thanks to some thoughtful person who had had the foresight to raise a sign declaring that fact.  The town was only a ten-minute walk in either direction.  How they had managed that he wasn't quite sure, physics had never been his strong point.

 

He had taken a residence upon first setting foot in the town, more for lack of anything else to do.  In reality he had slept there only the first night, but bored with the taunting and tricks of the poltergeist that lived there, he had left it in peace to sleep in the nearest hayloft.

 

Now he lay staring at the roof, counting the holes.  Another amazing act of either physics or gravity, he wasn't quite sure which, he actually had a sneaking suspicion they were one and the same; the roof had miraculously stayed up even though the ratio of wood to holes was much greater than was probably healthy.  Despite the fact that the barn looked as though a swift wind would send it crashing down, killing the thousands of insects that used it as a refuge, when it rained no water entered the barn.  Shifty had come to the conclusion that it was held together by magic.  He found magic much easier to believe in than physics simply because it was tangible.

 

He got to his feet, shaking the spiders out of his clothing.  All except for Frell.  Frell was a spider that had taken up residence in what remained of his pocket.  He had grown fond of her after she had resisted all attempts to be driven away.  Shifty thought of her as a soul mate.  He stroked her and she affectionately bit his finger.  He wiped the blood on his filthy tunic and stretched. 

 

Another day, another...what?  Surely not a dollar.  To be honest, he wasn't even quite sure what a dollar was, it was just a word that stuck in his head from somewhere.  He counted the change in his purse.  More than enough for a bath and a meal.  But why splurge?  He opted for the meal even if it did taste like sautéed sawdust with a side of dishwater.  He had grown rather used to it actually.  Finishing the paltry meal, he tossed a penny on the table and left.

 

"Hey!"  He heard the bar wench yell after him.  He stopped walking but didn't turn around. 

 

"I gave you enough for the sludge."  He said.

 

"It's not that.  You forgot your spider."

 

Shifty turned and hurried back to the counter, lowering his finger so Frell could climb on.  She staggered towards the filthy digit, walking only on three of her legs.  Suspicious, Shifty searched the counter for the source and found the spilled drops of Ale.  The bar wench didn't wipe the counter very often and when she did it was with a rag dirtier than the floor, which said a lot, considering the floor was bare dirt.

 

"Frell, you know better than that."  He chastised the drunken arachnid, dropping her into the safety of his pocket.  Her legs curled as if she was dead and she passed out.

Shifty sighed.  She had been doing so well, been on the wagon for almost a month now.  What a time for a relapse.  He counted the days on his fingers, or he tried to count the days.  Math had never been his strong point either.  He thought it was Monday.

 

"Monday."  He announced to no one in particular.  It seemed as good a day as any.  Slowly he trudged back to the residence he had purchased.

 

"Hey Harry."  He called as he crossed the threshold.  The chandelier swung menacingly over his head, about to fall.  Shifty stepped aside to avoid it as it crashed to the ground.  Shards of broken crystal cut into his legs.  Maniacal cackling filled the room.

"Harry."  He repeated.  "I've decided that it's time to move on."  The cackling stopped.

 

"You mean you're just going to leave me?"  Harry moaned, materializing in front of him.

 

"I'm afraid so."   Shifty replied.  "It's been nice working with you."  He wasn't quite sure if those were the right words to tell a poltergeist.

 

Harry started crying.

"I didn't even get to make the walls bleed yet!"  He wailed.  "Aren't you at least going to stay one more night?"

 

"Sorry about that."  Shifty apologized awkwardly.  "But, um, if you want to go ahead and do it now, I promise I'll scream and run around a bit."

 

"Humph."  Harry replied, crossing his protoplasm.  "It just wouldn't be the same.  Just go."  He dematerialized and Shifty could hear him stomping up the stairs.  The house shook and part of the ceiling caved in.  Shifty turned to leave.

 

He wasn't quite sure which direction to go, but figured it didn't matter.  Any direction would lead him out of the town, another quirk of physics.  He walked off to what he thought was the East since he had heard somewhere that the sun rose in the East.

 

He had been walking for exactly ten minutes when he came upon the sign marking the middle of nowhere.  He sat down to wait for the next Trolley.  He took off his boots and wiggled his toes.  One of these days he was going to have to find new shoes, these ones were a bit small.  He noticed the big hole in his sock.  He needed to cut his toenails.

 

Shifty watched as a scorpion crawled into his boot.  It was just a baby.  It had just disappeared inside when it suddenly reappeared again, moving faster than he thought was possible for a scorpion.  Was it just his imagination or was it yelping?  He watched it until it was too far away to see.  He pulled his boots back on, not sure whether to be offended or not.  He didn't quite make up his mind before the trolley arrived, and by the time he boarded and paid the fare, he had forgotten.

 

Settling on a seat in the back, he stared blankly out the window.  The people seated near him woke up and changed seats.  His eyes glazed over from lack of interesting detail to focus on.  He dropped into some kind of a trance.

 

"Hey you."  Something poked him.

 

"Huh?"  He said reclaiming his brain from the void it had wandered into.

 

"I said hey you."  The voice repeated, again poking him.  As Shifty's eyes once again focused he noticed that the trolley was empty.  "Last stop."  The conductor stared at him impatiently.  He was wearing something on his nose; Shifty wasn't quite sure if it was a clothespin or not.

 

"Oh."  He said, trying to pierce the darkness with his eyes.  "Where?"

 

"Stinktown."  The conductor said.

 

Shifty got to his feet and stepped off the trolley.  The door closed before he was even off the last step.  The second his foot left the step it retracted and the trolley took off.  Shifty was almost knocked off his feet.  As he regained his balance he noticed the town seemed to have a slight smell.  He took a deep breath; it wasn't that noticeable.  He set off towards what he thought might be a tavern.