Author: Mistress Jakira PM
More figurative speech here, this time with raindrops. ^_^; (There should be a category for metaphors. --; ) My last post before vacation! Free verse.Rated: Fiction K - English - Angst - Words: 629 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 06-09-02 - id: 825561
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
The rain falls rapidly,
licking at the ground
and splashing away.
tiny pools of iridescence
that shimmer like your eyes.
More drops fall from the
dank grey sky, splashing
like their predecessors,
the millions before them,
into the flooded basins
And they ripple.
I watch one of those ripples,
just one in one billion
or, in my case, five and a half.
A solitary ripple slowed in time:
It was there (in the middle of the puddle)
and now it's here (at the edge),
already it's been replaced by another
in its absence,
just as I have probably been.
By now there's someone else
to take the place
in your heart where I used to be.
Your pool ripples,
new things filling
the spaces left by old ones,
while mine is stationary...
When your raindrop
crashed into my puddle,
time somehow stopped
at the very point
when the splash erupted
and a hole remains
in the now-still water,
droplets hang in utter
chaos in the air...
but the rain hasn't stopped.
Did that make sense?? This probably isn't some of my best work,
but I'll let you form your own opinions on its quality. ^_^ I'll explain
it anyway, though.
I was actually thinking these things before and during the time when I wrote it--it was a rainy day and I was staring at the little puddles unconsciously, thinking about...well...something else, obviously. *cough* Suddenly that spark of inspiration hit me, and VOILA!!--this. ^_^;
In the sixteenth line when I say "or, in my case, five and a half" I mean that while that's one in a million raindrops, I'm one in five and a half billion people on Earth. I didn't think that was clear enough, but there wasn't another way to put it. After that, I'm talking about how ripples move to the outer edge of the water...that was probably obvious, but just in case. The simile following is pretty clear.
The second half is mostly about describing the image in my mind when I thought about this. You know that when a droplet falls into a puddle, it first creates a hole and then settles, right? If you've ever seen a video in science class or something where they put it in slow-motion, you also know that there seems to be a spray around the suspended droplet that came from the water upon impact. Well I'm saying in the poem that time stopped before the water got to settle, and now the droplet and the spray are suspended in the air. It seems really weird saying it this way, but if you reread it, I'm sure you'll understand. ^_^
About the tab before "chaos"...uh, I had to erase something on the paper I wrote this poem on and I ended up crossing it out, so there was a space before the word, and because of that the pause in speech is suspended slightly when I read the poem, and I thought that should be expressed here. Not to mention it just kinda looked good. ^_^;;;; Eheh.
And the last line can be interpreted any way you want. ^_^
That's it! Oh jeez, I've rambled again!! @_@ Well, thanks for taking the time, reviews are appreciated. ^_^ Thank you!! ~MJ
Date of Composition:June 3, 2002 (I think...I forgot and I didn't write it down. lol I've been too lazy to type it since. ^_^;)