A/N: This is a poem, but not in the usual format. It's in what I like to call a "poet's letter" format.

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Dearest Love,

Why did you make me want you so badly before I was gone
and when I came back I was so dissappointed
because you weren't the same as when I left.
I mourned just so when I was gone
and now I'm back and you're a different someone.
You're not the man I knew before
but a new person, different and I don't like it.
Why did you change
or is just for today?
Hopefully this will be done with soon
because I don't think I can handle this
back and forth choices.
I missed you so and now I am back and my welcoming
wasn't very warm.
I missed you so, I missed you so much that I cried
myself to sleep at night.
And now I'm back and so you aren't.
You stayed and yet you're not here
I left and came back.
What has happened? You're supposed to inflame me with love
with excitement of life. But now you're so much different
and you don't seem to be steadily changing back
but steadily staying the same. I miss you more now that I
see somebody else inside of you. I'd rather miss the old you
the you that made me laugh myself to sleep
rather than cry.
What happeend to those words of kindess and words
of child-like love? What ever happened?
What ever happened to the glowing boy I met,
the strong man I knew, the intelligent teenager I couldn't forget?
What ever happened to you?
I miss you so, I love you so much and now you're mildly gone.
Where is the man I knew that if I saw my heart would race wildly
my brain would pour out of my mouth and my mouth would only
smile, because that is what you do to me. You make me smile,
the best thing of all. Maybe I made you up, an imaginary person
while I was away. Perhaps I added chocolate to the ice cream instead
of just eating the real thing. Perhaps I jumped in an ocean when you
were merely a lake. Perhaps, dear love, perhaps. This is unrequited love,
I suppose and maybe I am supposed to be hurt so badly by you
that I run off to Europe and never come back unless I see family. And in
Europe I meet my Prince Charming and get the career of a lifetime,
all because I met you and you broke me. Perhaps that is the reason why
I am in so much pain over you all the time.
Do you think? I do know, dear love. I do know this is true.
Unfortunately I love you and will be broken again
because you either don't love me or you refuse
to speak it. If you refuse to speak it
you are only holding a brick over your head about to be dropped
when I decide to
no longer love you.
Perhaps, dear love. Perhaps.

Love,
Agony