There's a lot of characters who aren't mine. Dwayne, Tammy, Megumi, Mai, Yolei, Robert, Mona, Creaig, Ian, and a few others belong to Showstopper. Hikaru Utada is an actual person, and she really does sing this well, and she in NO WAY approved of this. Remember, what ain't mine, ain't mine!

December, 1998

In the Black Heaven, the space shuttle formerly known as the Fortitude, but now painted black and gold and extensively modified, was flying through space. Inside this shuttle were many rooms, including a lounge with expensive couches and a few people.

"It’s a bloody rotten shame Megumi couldn’t make it!" uttered a well-built man with black hair, "She really liked Sekola’s wedding!"

"Well, Ian, remember what Dr. Taira and Dr. Robert said. Not to mention Mai’s warning, Megumi doesn’t want to upset her. Unless she takes a turn for the worse we should be able to at least video-phone her!" explained his girlfriend, the blonde haired Tammy, "But she even had problems riding in the van back home to recuperate. She felt dizzy and nauseous, except she was still unconscious. This spaceship’s no good, ditto for the trains we’ll likely be riding if this is anything like the last wedding! And because who one of the lucky guys is," she continued, "there definitely will be a train involved!"

"I hope Megumi recovers well!" added a Japanese teenager with black hair in a pixie-like haircut, who herself showed signs of having just recovered from something herself. "That bitch with the blade killed my parents. She also killed Megumi’s parents too. If she had any decency left she would have committed seppuku!"

"As in Hara-kiri?" asked Creaig, her boyfriend.

"Yes!" replied the girlfriend, named Hiki.

"I’m sure Kushi will be able to comfort you!" said Ian, consolingly, "After all, she did lose her mother, and her father turned into a maniac!"

"Why did this have to happen, WHY?" cried Hiki, breaking down into tears. Her blond haired boyfriend Creaig hugged her to comfort her. Eventually she calmed down. "Thank you!"

Creaig just responded with a kiss.

"I know we’re going to have fun!" chimed an overly enthusiastic girl who walked in along with her red-haired boyfriend. "I’m hoping this will be twice as fun as the last wedding!"

Several more people walked in, and Tammy decided to take this moment to tell them all something. "Kushi told me to tell you all that there will be someone who looks a lot like Rebecca! So don’t be alarmed. Her name is Elka Sorkin, and she’s now a Star Guardian as well!"

"Is the Fiddler in love with her?" asked a platinum-blonde haired woman named Mitsu.

"No, from what I heard Elka has a crush on the Fiddler, but the Fiddler is still obsessed with Rebecca!"

"That sucks!" yelled the red-headed teenage boy, "Doesn’t Romeo know Juliet is the enemy? Hell, she tried killing us along with the Dark Nation in last month’s gang war!"

"Rob, I don’t know if Kushi told him everything I told her when I was on the horn with her!"

"Well I’ll tell him if need be. Rebecca’s a fucked up asshole!"

"Let’s stop talking about such depressing stuff!" suggested Rob’s girlfriend.

"Ok Yolei!"

"And Now For Something Completely Different!" announced Ian with a BBC accent. The group began talking about more trivial matters. Snake Eyes and Angela came in to join them.

The various people, that is Tammy Grabek, Ian Goombridge, Robert Benner, Yolei Yamasaki, Creaig Dunton, Hikaru "Hikki" Utada, Mitsu, Snake Eyes, Angela Rogers, and Mona Bradley, were generally happy to be on their way to the wedding, a break from the intense fighting they just experienced. The shuttle opened up a wormhole to the Green Dimension,

In the Black dimension, but coming from another direction, a pair of nearly identical spaceships was flying at the same speed. The only difference was that one of them had a large camel’s head made of coral attached to it, and the other one was decorated in Galactic Women’s Wrestling Association logos, as well as the logos of various GWWA Pay Per View events that had run. These spaceships were both originally made by the same company, Grenadier of YaYa-Niaferia.

Aboard the GWWA-1, the spaceship with the GWWA logos on it, there were two occupants. They were twin sisters, both of them with white skin and black hair. The only thing that set them apart in physical appearance was that one had a small scar beneath the left eye.

"Back to Oava’ia’i, right?" asked one of them.

"You said it Kelley!" replied the other, "Too bad the DOA’s stint is over, they’re good wrestlers!"

"I hope that the new Herald works for Chaos!" added Kelley.

Aboard the other spaceship, the SS Coralala, were four people. One of them was a winged Ai’a’ive with rainbow colored wings. She spread those wings and sighed. She was a little sore, but happy.

"I’m happy to be going back to Oava’ia’i, then back to Earth. I had a wonderful time wrestling, but I definitely need some time off, La’u Suiti (my sweety) Sekola!" She then kisses a fur-covered male Ya’a Naomi sitting next to her, and stroked his ringed tail.

"You said it. Soon we can go on our honeymoon, Ranai (Love)! I love you, Sara!"

"I love you too!" replied Sara as she continued stroking him, and then rubbed her hands over the white fur on his stomach and chest. She then pressed her lips against the mouth of the raccoon-like head. She then hugged him, enjoying the feel of the brown fur that covered most of his body. Sekola was wearing only a dark blue and white sarong around his waist, or laari as it is called in his language. Around his neck was a floral necklace (otherwise known as a lei, but not to him), and a strange stone amulet of an unusual shape with unusual markings.

The two began huggin each other more vigorously, and Sekola was about to move one of his hands under the hem of Sara’s dress. He stopped this, however, when he heard someone coming into the room they were sitting in.

"SHIT!" boomed a loud voice. In walked a muscular man with a dark complexion and long dreadlocks. "SHIT!" he repeated.

"What’s wrong Dwayne?" asked Sekola.

"I just got off the horn with Tammy. Megumi ain’t gonna be there. She was injured in a sword fight with some psycho woman who murdered both her parents. DAMN! I was looking forward to seeing her!" He grabbed a cushion on the floor and threw it across the room.

"Sorry to hear that!" said Sara as she hugged Dwayne.

"I almost feel like going directly back to Earth to be with her!"

"I don’t think she’d want it!" commented Sekola, "This is a once in a lifetime experience. Both the coronation and the double wedding!"

"Besides, I heard you’re the best man for Kerenge!" added Sara.

"Who’s getting married again?" asked Dwayne in a forced manner, in an attempt to defuse himself.

"Kerenge and Lara are one couple, Kulia and Kuro are the other!"

"Kuro…isn’t he that the crazy train engineer?"

"Yes he is, he even gave me a crash course in train driving. And he was so reckless about everything I was afraid we would crash! He insisted that only sissies slow down!"

"But I heard that Kulia really loves him, and has since he saved her from her dad Kumere!" She noticed a look on Dwayne’s face. "That’s right, the dad of Kulia, Kushi, and about nine other half-moogles just happens to be another Willie!"

"No Shit!"

"It’s true, or at least that’s what we were told when we talked to Kushi yesterday!" stated Sekola. "Don’t worry, he’s left the planet!"

"That’s good. Man, when I last saw him I thought he was cool. But he turned into a big jack-shit!"

"A jolly pleasant conversation you’re having!" intoned a blonde woman with a British accent as she walked into the room.

"Just talking about the jerk formerly known as Kushi’s dad!" snided Dwayne.

"Does he have any albums out?" joked the woman.

"Yeah, he’s number one…with a bullet, Katherine!"

"So Dwayne," cut in Sekola, purposely trying to change the subject, "You still have that Best Man outfit you wore at my wedding?"

"I sure do, Megumi told me to keep it!"

"Good, because I think you may be wearing it, at least that’s what Kerenge told me!"

"I’m coo’ with that!"

"We’ll be there in a couple of days, I’m about to open the portal!" said a strange voiec that belonged to an image of a camel’s head on a monitor.

The two spaceships sped into a wormhole to the Green Heaven.

In a couple of days a small fleet of ships was parked just outside of Poru, at the recently built Sina Starport. The GWWA-1 and SS Coralala were there, as were the Fortitude and the Red Zeppelin. A few other spaceships were there, for a diverse range of people including Lara’s brothers and a "Rainbow Priestess" from LeNuanua (the planet formerly known as Moravia but officially given back its old name), and the Star Child and his sisters Niu and Moa from their planet, and even royalty from a few other places, including a few Ai’a’ive matriarchs and patriarchs, and the three Flower Princesses from the land of the fairy-like Faerians.

They were all taken by train to a large structure of joined ki’opi and larger buildings, this was a luxury hotel owned by the royal family. The rooms all had wooden walls, huge windows, and comfortable beds.

The next day would be the coronation. Kulia told everyone to sleep well.

That night, one of the occupants definitely could not sleep. Hikki got up from her bed and walked around. She felt the strange feeling one normally feels when waking up in a strange bedroom, but it soon passed. She put on a robe over her nightgown and walked into the hallway. She slipped on a pair of sandals and walked through the hallway to its end, a small door that opened onto the platform of the train station there. It was amazingly warm outside, even though it was midnight. The station consisted of four tracks and three platforms (one on either side of the set of tracks, and an island platform between the two middle tracks). The platforms themselves were high-level boardwalks. A trio of orb-shaped lamps provided illumination on each platform. Ramps onto the street below were how one would change platforms. Above the tracks, a mass of wires resembling an elongated spider’s web were supported by large wooden arch structures attached to the lamps. The wires supplied overhead power for electric trains, of which Ai’a’ive Railways had no shortage.

She stared at the tracks, and begun singing the lyrics of one of her songs a capella. She was a professional J-Pop singer, so everything came naturally to her, except she usually had instruments backing her up. A late-night commuter train sped by on another track, the bells ringing as it passed. The lights were on in all the cars, but Hikki doubted there were many passengers.

Her mind turned back to the sadness of the murder of her parents. Even though the murderer had gotten her own come-upance, it wouldn’t bring them back. She began to cry. She tried to hold it back, but she couldn’t. She decided to clear her head and take a walk around the facility. Before she moved, though, she heard an eerie sound. It was a train’s whistle, but not like anything she heard. She looked to her left and saw the headlights of an engine. There was a cloud of steam that could be faintly made out. The chug-chug of the approaching train grew louder, as did the clatter of metal on metal. The cylendrical body of the steam-engine came closer and closer, and a loud hiss indicated that the train was braking. A sense of curiosity entered Hikki, as she wondered who was out late that night. This "stations" was not a normal stop for most trains, but it was used to provide all the guests with a good way to downtown. She noticed as the train came towards the platform lights that the train was painted in a psychedelic manner. She also noticed the words "Peace, Love and Souls" on the side of the steam engine. Behind the engine was a tender, or a large box for storing the train’s coal, and behind that were a string of coaches. Another odd feature about this train was that some of the light was somehow shining through the train. It was semi-transparent, or at least semi-translucent.

"Hikki!" came a voice from the train. Hikki was confused. "Hikaru Utada!" said the voice, a woman’s voice, from the train. The hissing and squealing continued as the train slowed to a stop. The top half of a Dutch door opened, and there a Japanese couple were standing.

"MOM! DAD!" yelled Hikki in Japanese. Smiles appeared on the faces of the couple.

"Hikki, we just wanted to tell you that you’re special. And to keep your head up. You just went through the worst time of your life, but there are many who are depending on you!" explained her father.

"Know that we will always be in your heart!" added her mother. "And you’re not the only one who lost her parents. Kushi and her brothers and sisters are now your sisters and brothers. So are Dwayne and Megumi! Look to your heart! And never lose your personality, or your beliefs, or your attitude, or your talents, or a death worse than ours will happen. By the way, when exactly is the wedding?"

They exchanged talk for a few minutes, but then it was time to leave. With the top part of the Dutch door still open, the couple waved as whistle sounded and the train chuffed out of the station, onto a track and into the distance.

Hikki just stood there for a couple of moments. Another train, this one an overnight mail-train, ran by on the track next to the one that the Soul Train was on. It slowed down but did not stop, and the engineer of the train, who Hikki could make out as a Muguri, flashed the lights and rang the bells. She watched as the boxy box-cab electric locomotive glided by her, along with the fifteen mail-cars.

Just then the sound of footsteps on the boardwalk was heard. She turned around and saw a Moogle with light brown fur, carrying a high-quality camera.

"Good evening!" he said with a thick Italian accent, "I’m-a Morugo Ratzi, but please, just-a call me Papa-Ratzi!"

"Kulia told me about you!" exclaimed Hikki as she assumed a defiant stance, "And you better stay away from the wedding, both you and your nosy children!"

"What’s your name, Wingless Ai’a’ive?"

"It’s Hikaru Utada, and that’s all I’m telling you!"

"Please a-tell me, what do you think of the Star Guardians?"

"They’re good friends, now please leave me alone, I’m not feeling especially well! Now leave before I wake everyone up!"

"Please, I want to know, do you think Kerenge’s handsome? Do you wish you were-a marrying him? Have you-a done it with a boy?" Hikki just turned her back to the annoying Ratzi.

I must be strong, Hikki told herself, as she firmly walked away from the platform, back into the large oddly shaped complex that was a hotel. She heard a distant whistle just as she closed the door. Papa Ratzi stood outside there in disbelief.

Elka was having problems getting to sleep. Dreams of the past were haunting her. Seeing members of her family killed before her eyes, either shot, or worse, fed to the Igelen. She also remembered being kidnapped again, this time by her own people. She would have been married at gunpoint, if not for the Star Guardians. She had flashbacks as she tried getting to sleep. Eventually she did drift off to sleep, out of pure exhaustion.

Kulia was also sleepless, with the thoughts of her coronation flooding her mind. She tried reassuring herself she already was actually the Matriarch, so thi\s was a mere formality, and she was very good as a ruler, maybe not as good as Sina…but then again, NOBODY was as good as Sina.

Dwayne Wayne was asleep, but only barely. Before he went to sleep that night he had to calm himself down. He walked down to the train platforms and then down to the street below and walked to the local convenience store about a block away. He was hoping to be alone, but because of the nature of Poru’s residents, and the fact that he was a semi-celebrity (although not as much as the Star-Guardians), and the fact that he had no wings, meant that everyone was hovering around him. He was upset by Megumi being absent. Pure rage flew through him as he walked along the road, and he had to control himself not to fly into a rage. When he returned to the station-platform outside the hotel, he grabbed one of the lamp-posts and held on tight, pretending he was strangling Vai. He realized how silly it was to "strangle" a lamp-post when a train rushed by him.

A couple of hours after sunrise a pair of Ai’a’ive in orange sarongs went from door to door in the hotel, making sure to wake up all of the guests.

"Breakfast is in the downstairs dining room in an hour!" they shouted.

An hour later everyone was dressed and at the tables downstairs.

"OH MY GOD!" yelled Hikki, as she saw some newspaper that an off-duty staff member was reading. The front headline said "Hikaru Utada: has secret crush on Kerenge, gets sexually excited by Waiting in Train Station!" The name of the newspaper was Il Potro, and beneath the title was a drawing of a rack, of the stretching-torture variety. "Don’t pay attention to that front headline, it’s not true, the only boy I love is Creaig!" she told the reader.

"I don’t believe this, I just read it for laughs!" insisted the copper-furred Moogle.

"Those stupid Ratzis!" yelled Kulia, "Making fun of us all like that!"

"Hikki’s my girlfriend, and nobody throws insults at her!" yelled Creaig as he stood up. In a fit of indignation he grabbed the paper from the moogle’s hands. He then threw it down onto the floor and stomped on it. "Stupid trash!"

"Creaig, calm down!" said Hikki, as she got up to hug him, "I’m sorry I started this!" she picked up the Il Potro and handed it to the confused Moogle.

"How was the wrestling?" Kushi asked Sara.

"It was very fun!" replied Sara with a smile, "but it could be rough at times. Still, Katherine and I had a nice time in the ring as D.O.A.!"

"Right, you were that Daughters Of Asskicking! You were really good, I saw you on TV!"

"Fa’afetai Kushi!" replied Sara.

"Anything you especially liked in the GWWA matches you saw?" asked Katherine.

"Yes, it was, when…ok, I never really figured out the names of those moves, but I liked the way you finished the F.B.I. in that match!"

"So, how is my favoritist cool guy, b—Dwayne?" asked Woo’oof.

"I can’t complain, I did a good job as the Herald!" replied Dwayne.

"Herald? So you was not Dwayne? You changed your name to Herald? Is you still Herald?"

"No, I was the herald for the Children of Chaos!" explained Dwayne, "I announced their arrival, and made sure everyone knew how dreadful they were. I was their spokesman!"

"OH!" replied Woo’oof with a blank look on his face.

"Tammy, I heard the good news!" said Dwanye, turning to Tammy, "I’m happy for you!"

"Happy, about what?" asked Tammy.

"Your boyfriend! He told me the news!"

"Thanks for that. I’m happy to have a sweet boyfriend again!"

"Yes…" said Dwane half-absently. He was thinking about Megumi, who wasn’t here with him to enjoy the Koko Oava’ia’i, sausage, Ai’a’ive pancakes and assorted fruit. Nor would she be having lively conversations with everyone. But at least he’d be seeing her once he returned to Earth. He remembered someone else who was at the last wedding but absent this time. Noriko Arigami, Megumi’s mother. Sadly, it would be impossible to see her. She was dead.

Kulia was talking to Mitsu and Mona.

"So where are you from?" she asked them.

"I’d not like to say too much," commented Mona, "but I’m from the planet Botan!"

"Isn’t that the planet that has that Mistress Heidi?"

"Well…yes it did!" replied Mona as she blushed.

"And you Mitsu, where are you from?" asked Kulia to Mitsu, in an effort to avoid embarrassment.

"Japan. I’m slightly odd…I once was part of Hikki!"

"But you look to old to be her daughter!"

"That’s not what I meant. It’s a long story. I’m not even a normal human. And no, I’m not a Nuanua, or Ai’a’ive, or any of those other races. I’m an angel, but not of the same type as Alice, Natasha or Sina. I never was a normal human! And for some reason I was once fused with Hikki, until I needed to be separated!"

"I see!"

"So what’s it like where you both are from, ladies?" asked Kuro.

Mona explained her home planet of Botan, and Hikki told Kuro almost too much about Tokyo.

At another table Angela and Snake Eyes were talking to Simi and Perene, Lara’s brothers.

"This is the first time we’re seeing Lara in ages. She was very young when we were separated. We were forced into the Orange Army to serve that stuck up asshole Konami. Eventually we got to see Lara again, but she told me her parents were killed by Steel Men."

"Both of us lost our parents!" replied Snake Eyes, "Mine were killed by some asshole in Switzerland…that’s some place on Earth!"

"I don’t even know about mine!" added Angela, "I grew up in an orphanage where the nuns treated me like dirt half the time and shit the rest of the time!"

"Same with us!" said Simi, "We were told we were shit. We kept getting empty promises, we’d be allowed to go home soon, our tour of duty would soon be over. Heartless bastards, that’s what they are."

Robert and Yolei were seated with Koro, Kalete, and a few of Koro’s siblings.

"You were way too right on your prediction on that ship that took us home!" commented Robert.

"You mean the Dark Wind?" asked Kalete.

"Yes, except her name was actually Deadly Wind. But a professional hit-killer by any other name is still a heartless bastard."

Lara and Kerenge were talking to Tammy and Ian.

"So in a few days you will be Mr. and Mrs. Kerenge?" asked Ian.

"That’s not my real name!" replied Kerenge, "I’m actually Todd Jackson!"

"How did you get that name?" asked Tammy.

"It means ‘Wild Lover’ in Kushi’s language," explained Kerenge.

"Right, you were once Kushi’s boyfriend?" asked Ian.

"Please, let’s not talk about that!" replied Kerenge.

"I’m frightfully sorry!" said Ian.

"It’s ok!" replied Lara. "Anyways, it’s in a few days!"

"So who are the Best Men and Maids of Honor?" asked Tammy.

"Dwayne and Kiro will be the Best Men. Kiro is Kuro’s brother. And once again you and Kushi will be the Maids of Honor!"

"All right!" replied Tammy.

A few hours later everybody was assembled at Poru Park in the middle of Poru. A large fale had been erected for this special occasion. A circle of Ai’a’ive matai (chiefs) and Muguri nobles were seated in a large circle. VIPs, including the Star Guardians, were invited to stand outside in an outer circle.

"This is a Saofa’i," explained Kushi to everyone, "Much like what you have in your homeland, Sara! You see, the title of Tui’Oava’ia’i, which the Matriarch carries, is a matai’s title. So she’s officially being made the chief!"

The ceremony started with a large multi-legged bowl (best described as a model of Stonehenge with a bowl being supported by it) being carried into the room by a pair of tough looking Ai’a’ive in brown lavalavas. In walked a female Ai’a’ive with a fine pandanus-leaf mat wrapped around her and a fancy head-dress of leaves, feathers and shells on her head, and bright purple wings. She was carrying a small hammer-like implement with a long handle. From the other direction came a bright-yellow furred Moogless. She was carrying a pot in her arms. On her head was a head-dress of bright green leaves. Around her neck was a garland of flowers. Sara, having seen Samoan saofa’is before, was visibly confused by this part.

"This is where the Ai’a’ive Taupou, or ceremonial virgin, and the Muguri Kiri, litterally ‘girl’, will get together to mix the Red Kava, it’s different from ‘ava Samoa, Sara!" Sara just watched in amazement. Kushi continued her whispered commentary. "And now we’re waiting for Kulia!" Kulia came in, with an elaborately patterned lavalava wrapped around her and various floral necklaces around her neck. Seated behind her was Kuro. The assorted chiefs and nobles gave her expensive necklaces, as well as fine mats and bottles of various expensive drinks and oils.

Kulia was passed a small cup, as was everyone else in the circle. They dipped into the kava bowl and sipped the drink, and then shouted "Manuia!" which in this case meant "Cheers!"

After that Kulia began to give a lengthy speech. It was in a mixture of Oava’ia’i-Samoan and Muguri. She basically thanked everyone and various deities for being given the honor of the titles that she had. A servant came from behind and deposited a bundle wrapped in fine mats. Kulia unrolled it. Inside was an ornate staff or to’oto’o and a fly whisk or fue, the symbols of the matai. She continued her speech. At the end everyone got up, and there was much cheering. A strange creature, with stony skin, and resembling a cross between a turtle (but without a real shell) and a bear was waiting.

"What’s that thing?" asked Creaig.

"It’s called a Myurga!" explained Kushi, "They used to do the same thing that your horses used to do. Truck drivers here are still called Myurga’eri, in honor of the mighty beast."

The Myurga lowered its body by stratching out its limbs, and let out a low roar. The driver, an orange-furred Muguri seated on his head, shouted a few single sylables of "hi, ag, ko" and then "kupopo." A platform was attached to the back of the beast, with a rope ladder hung down either side. Kulia climbed this ladder and Kuro followed. The ladders were raised, and then the driver kicked the beast’s head a few times, and the beast got up. It walked forward, and everyone was cheering. Soon a parade had formed behind the beast. The group followed behind in an open-top bus, more like a flatbed truck with theatre-style "staircased" seating behind the cab.

"This is so nice!" beamed Yolei, "being at these once-in a lifetime events!"

"I agree!" replied Hikki, who was seated one row behind her. "The only shame is that Megumi isn’t here!"

"You said it!" said Dwayne behind her, "But we should try our best to enjoy this!"

The route of the parade terminated at the Poru Tagaloa Temple, where Kulia and Kuro dismounted and were escorted inside. The temple was packed, but there were seats reserved for the Star Guardians and their friends, as well as for all of the royal family. Their were also the Matriarchs and a few Patriarchs of Ai’a’ive from other planets, some of them rulers, and a few of them either just figureheads or just the leaders of the Ai’a’ive of whatever planet they were from. A few of them had looks of disapproval, as this was the first Ai’a’ive Matriarch to not be a pure Ai’a’ive. Still, they could tell she still was Ai’a’ive, even if not pure Ai’a’ive. Kulia and Kuro were quickly escorted into a backroom.

"Hi Fiddler, Nice to a-meet-a you!" came a female voice with an Italian accent. "I’m Giruni, one of Kulia’s cousins!" He noticed that this light-brown furred moogle not only had a camera, but was clicking away with it in a manner copied by those in the press-gallery set up. "So tell me, do you have-a the hots for Kulia? You think-a she’s a very nice? Her brothers would marry her if they weren’t her brothers!"

"Giruni? You take me for a yutz?" asked the Fiddler, "Hey everyone, did you know Kulia has a cousin named Giruni?" he shouted in a loud way uncharacteristic of him. Everyone stared at Giruni.

"The jig is up!" shouted Katherine from behind her, "You’re just another one of those stuck-up Ratzis, aren’t you! I have news for you. I’m British. I know how to deal with tabloid trash like you!"

"ARRIVEDERCI!" yelled Giruni as she bolted and ran out the front door. A pair of other moogles with similar fur decided not to take chances and bolted after her.

"And don’t come back!" yelled Sekola at one of them.

A few minutes later a traditional Muguri orchestra began playing music on drums, conch horns, guitars, and strange instruments resembling a cross between a xylophone and a harpsichord. There were also some Ai’a’ive playing rolled up "mat drums." A curtain opened, and Kulia walked through it. Everyone was quiet as she took her place out in the open. A woman in a dark red puletasi (Samoan dress) walked over to her. She stretched her bright blue and yellow wings and then faced towards the audience. She produced an ornate staff. It was inlaid with precious jewels, and had an orb at either end. She tapped it on Kulia’s shoulders, alternating, nine times.

"I ask for the blessing of Tagaloa, lord of the Nine Heavens, on our Matriarch Kulia!"

She walked around Kulia, and then tapped her again with her stadd.

"Now on our Matriarch, Masiofo o Ai’a’ive Kulia, I ask for the blessings of the Manune-Kunu, the Wise Woman, so that she may rule with wisdom!" She paused, and then tapped Kulia again, this time seven times. "I ask for the Seven Sisters to provide watch and protection to Kulia, and the great lands that she now watches over!" The ceremony continued like this, with tapping and the favor of all of the deities being asked.

Finally a pair of Ai’a’ive men entered, carrying short staves with hooks at the end. The hooks were holding an elaborate head-dress of leaves, flowers, bones and jewels. This over-elaborate crown was lowered onto Kulia’s head, making sure that her ike’u rose through the centre. A female attendant handed her her feather-lined cloak with the Ai’a’ive seal on it. Finally, she was given a bone and pearl necklace to wear.

Kulia motioned, and the priestess who blessed her handed her a portable microphone.

"Sina’s mother, Her Majesty Fetu’iva, was the first of the Oava’ia’i Ai’a’ive Matriarchs to have traditions of the Muguri mixed in with the Ai’a’ive traditions – some of them dating back from the days of Samoa. My mother, Sina, bless her soul and may she live well in Pulotu, the Next World, was the first to marry a Muguri. Now I am here, Afatasi, but I am not HALF Ai’a’ive and HALF Moogle. Leai (no), I am BOTH Ai’a’ive and Muguri. It is the union that many have long awaited. Fetu’iva and Sina would both be so happy!"

Tears began appearing in her eyes.

"Ideally, I wouldn’t be standing here now. It shouldn’t have been this way. But Sina ended up dying a martyr, so that neither Vai nor the Samasama Emperor would take over the planet Earth, the original homeworld of the Ai’a’ive. A moment of silence for her, please!"

Everyone was silent for a moment. Kulia had to switch the microphone off because she didn’t want everyone to hear her crying. Eventually she composed herself and continued.

"And as with the previous Matriarchs, things are changing even now. In the era of Fetu’iva, we had the first regularly scheduled service to other planets, and there was the great Five Corridor Electrification Project," added Kulia, remembering what her fiancé told her about when certain train-tracks had catenary strung over them. "And we cannot forget my mother. When Sina was Matriarch, an evil regime on our own planet, the Steel-Men, were eliminated. The O’ive finally had their own home where they were safe. And the Chosen Ai’a’ive was proven to be true. We have seen her, and her name is Sara!" Everyone looked at Sara who was in the audience. She blushed.

"And I haven’t even become the official Matriach when I had so much responsibility thrust upon me. First it was the Hats. And then it was the U-Team and even the Empire of Moravia. It is now time to thank those who have served us well, the Star Guardians! Please, get over here…uh…get the move here…uh…COME ON DOWN!"

"Really Kulia, this isn’t normal!" complained the priestess.

"Well neither are they!" she retorted, as the Star Guardians walked up to Kulia. She personally hugged all of them. "Without them, we would have been under the ruthless dictatorship of Kumere! You may all applaud now!"

It was normally bad manners to clap inside the temple, but since the Matriarch gave the go-ahead, they did.

After everyone calmed down the rest of the speech continued, and it was no where near as interesting as the first part. She only talked about what she hoped to accomplish, and the desire for peace but the preparedness for war.

Everyone was then taken to lunch in the large banquet hall of the Parliament buildings.

The main course was povi, or beef. According to the tradition about newly installed chiefs, Kulia chose the cows to be slaughtered herself, although she had the assistance of the Minister of Agriculture and Fisheries, Pompano Ei’ei’o, help her choose the right cows. Normally pig would be used for such a celebration, but in deference to the Fiddler, Elka Sorkin, and all the other O’ive in attendance, she chose beef instead.

The meal itself started with palusami, or taro leaves wrapped around coconut cream and onions. After this came the beef and potatoes, cooked the Ai’a’ive way. There was also spinach and fish, as well as the Octopus-Head plant, which was vaguely like a cross between the cauliflower and the cabbage.

There was also octopus and grilled wings, along with other vegetables and cooked bananas, as a next course.

The drinks included fruit juices, which everyone liked, and Two Shofar brand wine, which few people could stand the taste of.

"This is so fun!" commented Woo’oof, "I is enjoying the food very much! And Kulia, you is now a queen?"

"Yes, I am!" replied Kulia.

"Since you am a queen, can you sing We are the Champions? Or what about Bicycle Races? I want to ride my bicycle, I want to…you know, you’re the queen, ain’t you?"

"Wrong Queen, Woo’oof!" replied Dwayne.

"A toast for Her Majesty!" proposed Ian, as he raised his glass.

"Cheers!" shouted a couple of people!"

"Where Everybody Knows Your Name!" sung out Dwayne, Creaig and Robert in unison.

"Manuia!" shouted Sara and Kushi in unison. The Star Child and his sisters said likewise."

Lara tapped on her glass, making a loud noise to get people’s attention. "Ok. Before we have desert, I’ll read the list of ushers and bridesmaids!"

Kulia handed her an envelope that Lara opened.

"The Maids of honor are Tammy Grabek and Kushi Ai’a’ive. And now the bridesmaids!" continued Lara, "The Tina-Nuanua, or literally ‘Rainbow-Mother’ will be, Sara Ai’a’ive, the others will be Elka Sorkin, Hikaru Utada, Yolei Yamasaki, Fetu Ai’a’ive, Kusiapo Ai’a’ive, Kelinata Ai’a’ive, Mira Ai’a’ive, Umunu Kole, Kepi Kupopo, Hodol Kumorovitch, Chava Kumorovitch, Shprintze Kumorovitch, Bielke Kumorovitch, Alo Ai’a’ive, and a few other here," she said, as she flipped a page over. She then read the names of the other maids of honor. "And now it is time for the men. The Best men are Kiro Kerino and Dwayne Wayne. The Tamä-Nuanua, and I think you can figure out what this means, is Sekola Ai’a’ive, and the other ushers will be Creaig Dunton, Robert Benner, Ian Goombridge, Kuprolu Kerino, Simi Nuanua, Perene Nuanua, Koro Ai’a’ive, Kiningo Ai’a’ive, and there’s also, let me get this other sheet…" Kulia changed sheets, and read off the remaining names, but she then noticed someone had hastily scribbled in "Kogog Miko" "Kogog Miko? Is there a Kogog Miko? Do you know of him, Kuro, Kerenge, or Kulia?"

They all shrugged, and a silent laughter could be heard from an ornate pot that was in the room. "I’ll do it this time!" said Kuro, "there’s somthin’ mighty ornery about that there pot, pots ain’t supposed to be laughin’!" A muffled laugh escaped said pot. "What’s so funny, boy, you didn’t hear me? Wait a second, them pots don’t talk! And they don’t laugh!" A gasp escaped the pot. "Kerenge, why don’t you help a fellow marryin’ man and let’s lift this here pot!"

"With pleasure!" said Kerenge, as he got up, "but before we lift the pot, let’s give him something to eat, shall we?" he picked up his plate, that had some grilled wings in hot taro sauce, that were almost too hot to eat. He dumped several into the pot. A loud scream emerged from the pot.

"BASTARDO!" yelled the voice. A brown furred moogle sprung out like a jack-in-the-box, carrying a periscope and a camera. He also had a strange orb that he threw at the ground. A brilliant plume of smoke billowed out, as he made his getaway.

"He’s the Bastardo!" commented Kerenge in disgust. He looked into the pot, and noriced that a couple of rolls of film and some notes were left behind.

The next part of the meal was dessert, which meant fruits, sweets, and pies. There was even some ice cream on hand.

"And to think that the wedding meal will be even bigger!" mused Kulia between bites, "I’m normally Ai’a’ive and Muguri, but I’ll be a pig during these celebrations!"

"Then I’ll have to stay away from you, you’re not kosher!" joked Elka.

"Don’t worry, we won’t roast you," joked Sekola, "even though my wife really loves roast pig!" Intense laughing ensued. "I can’t imagine you looking like a pig any more than I can imagine myself looking like Bob Marley!"

"I’m the one who looks the most like Marley-Mon!" retorted Dwayne with a fake Jamaican accent.

"He’s gonna have a slow shake-down party, tonight!" sung Woo’oof.

"It’s ‘soul-shakedown’ Woo’oof!" corrected Mia’aou, who then kissed him.

"I can’t wait for the happy wedding! Weddings are so fun!" said Loookie.

"So what are we doing after dessert?" asked Kushi.

"The ushers and bridesmaids will be fitted for clothing!" replied Lara.

"So they is gonna be upsetted so they’ll have clothes?"

"Wrong kind of ‘fit’, Woo’oof!" replied Loookie with a smile.

The men’s party was taken by train to a village in the middle of a thick forest. They stepped off the Tiltalino train and said goodbye to the train’s staff. They were escorted to a cluster of eight Ki’opi sections joined together. At this place a pair of Ai’a’ive attendants greeted them. There was also a purple-winged Ai’a’ive woman who introduced herself and said that she’d be measuring everyone and handing out the robes.

"Robes?" asked Sekola.

"It’s a Nuanua thing!" explained Kiro, "at least that’s what Kuro told me!"

"Yes it is!" said Perene, "this is what we wear for special occasions! They’re called Oyekas. But I heard that Kuro chose what colors the men will wear!"

The female tailor and her attendants took out rulers and measured everyone. "My husband and I will make these Oyekas, actually we have a couple of assistants from LeNuanua helping us! Your robes will be ready tommorow, just need to do a few final changes!"

One of her assistances showed them what one of the robes looked like.

"What, I’m going to wear one of these things?" asked Robert, upon seeing the garment, which was a long one-piece gown. "Who am I, Kerenge?"

"It’s the way of our people!" replied Simi.

More measurements were done, and then the group headed back to the train station to catch a train back to Poru. They were told they wouldn’t have to return, their clothing would be sent to them.

The women in the bridesmaids group also went to be fitted for Oyekas. They went to a place in the suburbs of Poru.

"I’m so excited!" exclaimed Tammy, "The only thing I’m worrying about is what I’m going to wear, and it’s not even me who has to do the worrying now. No worrying about Sophia, or Rebecca, or Konami, or Tetsuo. All I have to worry is that the, uh, Oyeka looks good!"

"I’m sure it will!" said Yolei. "I wonder what Robert will be wearing?"

"I think the men will also be wearing oyekas," replied Elka, "except for the Goy-Muguri who might be naked!" Yolei and Hikki laughed in unison at the thought of their boyfriends in exotic clothing, still not sure exactly what an Oyeka was.

Like the other place, there was a tailor and assistants here, but in this case the assistants were all Moogles. However, one of them was behaving erratically, and going off in the wrong direction when given orders. Tammy followed the Moogle, and found out that she was Giana Ratzi, one of Papa Ratzi’s daughters.

The night after Kuro and Kulia were sleeping next to each other. But neither of them could get to sleep. Kulia was having nightmares about her father trying to kill her, and about the public condemning her, and even about her mother returning and accusing her of "betraying the glorious heritage of the Ai’a’ive Matriarchs!"

Kuro couldn’t sleep because he kept having flashbacks about the day he lost his old girlfriend Kesi. For a long time those memories were gone, but the bridge over Banana River was once again haunting him. He saw every gruesome detail as the track beneath Kesi’s train collapsed, the rails twisted into odd shapes, the locomotive and cars plummeting into the river below.

Kuro rolled over and accidentally elbowed Kulia. She awoke with a start.

"No, no, no…" she mumbled. Then she realized where she was. She hugged Kuro tightly. "I’m having bad dreams!"

"So am I!" replied Kuro. "It’s returning…the bridge!"

Kulia hugged him tightly. "I’m here, don’t worry!"

"Now if only I could get back to sleep!"

"Well, since we’re awake, and we’re both having ad dreams, I can only think of one thing that will work, my dear!"

"An’ what would that be?"

"First I’d have to turn you on!" began Kulia, as she began French-kissing him. Their lips and tongues moved with a steady rhythm. Kulia began rubbing Kuro’s back, and Kuro did likewise. Kulia then kissed a trail of kisses downwards along Kuro’s body. She noticed, even in the poor light, that what she was doing was successful. The entrance to Kuro’s intimate regions opened up and his manliness emerged from its fur-lined cocoon, excited into a ready state. He lay down, while Kulia lowered herself onto him, feeling the warmth of the penetration. While locked in penetration they locked their mouths in kiss, using only their noses to breathe. After staying still for a few minutes Kulia began to rock back and forth, causing Kuro to feel excited. The breathing intensified, slowly but surely. Half an hour later Kuro exploded into his fiancée, and the two felt a great warmth about them. They felt more able to go to sleep as well. They drifted off, Kuro still inside of Kulia.

The next day it was time for the parties of the brides and the grooms to be given their oyekas. The men were in a large fale like structure (but with walls, as this was elevated) on an upper floor in downtown Poru.

"I have them here!" said the female Ai’a’ive, as she brought out the oyekas. They all had distinct color schemes.

"What’s the deal here?" asked Creaig, as he was handed his dark green oyeka.

"Yeah, where’d they think of these colors?" asked Robert, as he looked at his, which had stripes or red, white, and blue. Then he looked out one side of the structure, as did everyone else. He saw a rail-yard a short ways down. The locomotives, passenger cars, and freight cars had a variety of color schemes. "I forgot, one of the lucky guys is a train driver! He must have chosen these!"

"That’s most likely!" suggested Ian, "anyways we may as well put these on!" He, Creaig, and Robert slipped on the robes there and then.

"Excuse me," interrupted Simi, who was headed towards a changing room, "you’re not supposed to wear anything underneath it. You’re supposed to get changed in the changing room, and take off all your other clothes!"

"But it just seems so weird, wearing a dress that’s an ad for Amtrak. And how am I supposed to dance in this?" asked Robert.

"The same way Kerenge does!" quipped Creaig. "And the same way I’ll dance in this thing that’s colored like…some other railroad!"

"And what’s this I have?" asked Ian, noticing he’d be attired in an Oyeka that was white with orange stripes, "Tiger Railways, I presume?" he joked.

A few minutes later everyone was changed.

"You look so sweet!" said the female Ai’a’ive tailor, whose name was Tuli. "This is going to be so wonderful!" She snapped her fingers and a pair of assitants appeared. They "inspected" everyone, straightening out the robes. Creaig and Robert were jealous of the Moogles in their group, who would be nearly naked. They heard that Dwayne would be wearing the same loud getup he wore at Sara and Sekola’s wedding, but the only good thing aboiut that was that it wasn’t inspired by the side of a locomotive. Sekola, as "Rainbow-Father" was wearing an Oyeka that was rainbow colored, and had a hole to accommodate his tail.

The girls didn’t have to worry about anything outlandish, as the Oyekas worn by the bridesmaids were all a soft peach color, except for Sara, who, as "Rainbow-Mother" would be wearing a rainbow-colored Oyeka.

After this everyone, including the bridesmaids and ushers, still in their oyekas, were taken to the buildings of the Fono, or Parliament, and Kulia officially declared that she’d be marrying Kuro. A press-conference followed, but security provided by the entourage (Ian, Robert, Dwayne, Tammy, and many others being skilled in fighting techniques) ensured that none of the Ratzis maade it close enough.

That day’s Il Potro had a doctored picture of Kulia yelling, and the headline "Matriarch flips, Orders men into Puletasis" (A/N puletasi Samoan woman’s dress) The article itself gave the falsified testimony of a variety of psychologists, many of them non-existant. It ended with the question "Is Kulia fit to rule?"

"OF COURSE SHE’S FIT, YOU INBRED CHUCKLEHEADS!" yelled Kuro, "Maybe if you’d done listen once in a while you’d know that!"

Another article said "Railway Man tells all, Engineer Knows Secrets of Co-worker Kuro!"

"Good old Oko!" yelled Kuro, "couldn’t tell a locomotive from a dung-pile, and doesn’t know his ike’u from his muli (bottom)"

Once again the group was traveling by train, this time it was to the Le Tina palace out in the country. This train was silver and made of fluted stainless steel, and had two floors. At either end was an electric streamlined locomotive that had been painted silver to match. The sides of the cars had the Ai’a’ive Railways logo on them, as well as some older markings refering to "Santa Fe’s El Capitan."

"How do you do it, Dwayne?" asked Hikki, as she walked to the seat he was sitting in.

"Do what?" replied Dwayne.

"You also wants to know how to be one kiss-ass pimp?" asked Woo’oof from in front of them.

"No," said Hikki. Woo’oof turned away. "Dwayne, how were you able to get by…the loss of your parents?" she asked.

"It’s very hard!" replied Dwayne, "When my mom died when I was only eight years old, my dad flipped. He became very mean, he blamed me for Mom’s death, and he’d beat me if I did anything wrong, or sometimes for no reason at all. He called me worthless, he called me clingy, and I was always scared. He never said good morning, he just bitch-slapped me. And that’s if he was in a good mood. He stopped being my dad long before he was killed, but I still kept thinking that somehow I could have a normal relationship with him again."

"At least both of my parents loved me when they died!" sobbed Hikki. The two hugged. She got up and reached into an overhead rack. She pulled down a thick envelope that was from "Government of Japan – Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare."

"What’s in there?" asked Dwayne.

"Mai told me that Megumi sent certain forms to the government about my status. She said not to open it until I got to Oava’ia’i. What if it means that I’ve been adopted by some kooks from Kyushu? What if it means that someone at another record company is actually ‘adopting’ me just to control me and derail my singing career? And what will happen to my relationship with Creaig?"

"Well, if that’s the case, which I doubt, wouldn’t they have sent someone over to pick you up? And if it really is some deal like that, you need not return to Earth!"

"And if it’s that," added Creaig, who overheard his girlfriend crying, "We’ll just not return to Earth. I’m sure they could fake our deaths, and none of them know about Oava’ia’i. Of course, we’d have to adjust to a new lifestyle, new climate, new languages, new food, and new money, but better than us being seperated!"

"I think the best thing," suggested Dwayne, "is to open it!"

"You’re right!" responded Hikki, as she took a deep breath and began unwrapping the envelope.

Inside were numerous "correction" forms, a large pamphlet ‘So You’ve Been Adopted?’ as well as a letter.

"Dear Hikaru Utada.

This letter is to inform you that your surviving relatives have legally transferred custody to Megumi Arigami, who applied for guardianship. We realize that with the loss of your parents you are still in an adjustment period. We included a copy of the pamphlet ‘So You’ve Been Adopted?’, as well as forums to correct details like the address, as well as anything to change your name. Your new guardian will do her best to help you adjust to your new life." The rest of the letter explained details about how easy it is to adjust, and offered websites and the addresses of psychologists, psychiatrists and grief counselors for coping with both the death of her parents and the fact that she was now legally the ward of Megumi Arigami. A look of joy appeared on her face. Her teenage smile made itself known, and she hugged Dwayne tightly. She then hugged everyone in the train-car, and then ran into the next car and hugged everyone there, and then shouted a heartfelt "YES!"

She then explained just why she was so happy.

The next few days were mostly uneventful, except that a few more guests came, including Sekola’s Aunt Rina, who would help with this wedding like she did with the other one.

A few days later it was time for the event itself, the double wedding. The night before Kuro slept with his family, Lara and Kulia slept with Kulia’s siblings as well as Teuila and Elka, and Kerenge slept with Woo’oof, Dwayne and the Fiddler. It was an Ai’a’ive tradition that the last night before a wedding must be spent with one’s family, as this was normally the last night that one lived with one’s family before being married at one time.

"I can’t get to sleep!" moaned Kerenge as he continously tossed and turned. He moaned it softly, hoping nobody would here, but he was heard.

"I can’t get to sleep either man!" complained Dwayne, "I’m thinking about my girlfriend. I haven’t seen her for over two months."

"Since we’re up, we might as well take a walk!" suggested Kerenge. Dwayne slipped on a robe while Kerenge wrapped a sheet around himself. They quietly exited the bedroom. The walked along a covered walkway and to an outdoor path. "I’m sorry to hear about your girlfriend!"

"Thanks. I’m just hoping that she’s recovered by the time we return!" mused Dwayne.

"I know how you feel, I thought I lost my girlfriend once, when Lara was nearly killed in battle, so was I, because of Willie Wayne and Malcolm Jamal-Helmsley!"

"Shit, those assholes haven’t changed have they, you’d think that the time they were dead mellowed them out!"

"No, they’re as stuckup as ever. I’m just happy that they’ve left this planet!" The two continued walking. "I also remember the time my girlfriend was kidnapped. This was back in the Kushi days! It’s worse than having your girlfriend injured, I preferred seeing Lara with the alualu than thinking about Kushi held in a cold prison!"

"Right, you told me about that place before, Chogyo, right?"

"Right!"

"But what’s an alualu?"

"Oh, it means jellyfish, but it’s also what’s used in the hospitals, it’s a bunch of bags taped together, with a bunch of tubes, and…"

"I think I know enough now!" chuckled Dwayne.

"Now, I don’t think I asked before, how did you meet Megumi?"

Dwayne told him about how he met Megumi the first time, while searching for fragments of an ancient weapon called the Kao Belt. Feelings of love blossomed, and he had to call off his engagement to his girlfriend at the time, Tammy.

"So that’s why Tammy and Kushi are so close when they’re together!" laughed Kerenge, "because they both lost their handsome men!"

"At least Tammy has found someone. I only wish I could help Kushi. Megumi told me in a videophone conversation that Kushi was real fly at stoppin’ those Glocks! And Tammy sees her as a sister!"

"They have more in common than you’d think. But there isn’t someone who’s a lot like Ian for Kushi. That’s the problem!"

"I understand. So how do you feel to be less than twenty four hours away from being a married man?"

"It’s great. So great I can’t sleep.

"You sure it’s not sleeping without your girlfriend that’s keeping you awake?"

"I’m totally sure. Thanks for coming out here with me!"

"No, you are the one who needs the props, not me!"

"No, you!"

"No, you!"

"No, you!"

"Trust me, this was a very good idea. So, are you going any special place for the honeymoon?"

"We haven’t decided yet. We might go to Earth in the Red Zeppelin, we really enjoyed it there. Japan is really nice!"

"True! All the coolest stuff comes from there. Animé, Nintendo, the Ninja, all kinds of fly rides and awesome autos, not to mention J-Pop…The kind of music that Hikki sings!"

"Speaking of Hikki, how do you think she’ll adjust to her new life?"

"It’s gonna be hard. Losing a parent is bad enough. Having both of them killed at once by a lunatic is unbearable."

"I never had any real parents that I liked. My mom ran out on us with a Charga…a gansta who dresses like a football player…and my dad was blaming us for everything that was wrong. I ended up on the streets at a young age. But I see what it’s like. It seems so many have lost someone. You lost your mom, and then you ‘lost’ your dad. Sara’s dad died, so did Kat’s mom. Kushi saw her mother get killed on the battlefield, down in Iameka!"

"Sorry to hear that!"

"Well, me and the other Star Guardians stick with Kushi and try to lift her up again. Back when I was her boyfriend she was always cheerful. Now look at her, she’s nothing like her old self. She took the loss of her mother very hard.

"Awww! I wish I could somehow help, I know how she feels. Not only is Kushi like Tammy, she’s also like me. Her mother is dead and her father’s King Asshole of the Universe!"

"Anyways, maybe we should head back now. And talk about stuff that is more pleasant!"

"Good plan man!" agreed Dwayne.

"So what was it like being in professional wrestling?"

"I thought you said ‘nicer stuff’, just kidding! It was aight, but keeping my calm and making those firm announcements when surrounded by thousands of people is hard, and I’m not on national television, I’m on TV sets throughout the GALAXY! But I had to keep in character, be bad-ass, and make people hate Chaos even more!"

"I saw your performance. You’re quite good. And I would think that Chaos were the most annoying in the GWWA, except that Rachel Williams is there!"

"Please, don’t get started on her!"

"I won’t. At one time I kind of liked her, but she wasn’t my type. Kushi was!"

"All the other wrestlers were cool. Did you know that Tiger-Flash can actually talk much better than she does in the ring?"

"Really! So She no always talk in third person?" asked Kerenge in a fake Tiger Flash voice.

"She’s quite articulate! And another thing, some grudges only exist in the ring, but others run outside it."

"Very interesting. I think Sara and Kat were good, but then again Sara’s a good friend of mine!"

"Same here!"

The next day was the day. The grooms’ party and brides’ party were assembled, and they were to keep the grooms and the brides as far from each other as possible until the wedding.

As was the tradition, the first thing that both groups were going to do was bathe in grand style and put on their clothing.

"This is the happiest day of my life!" said Lara, as she put on two dresses, a bright peach one and then a dark red one over it.

"Even happier than your last one?" asked Kulia, who was adjusting the strings of flowers she was putting around her neck.

"I’ll thank you not to bring that up. I do not want to think of him…the only good thing that came out of him was Teuila. I want to look forward, to a bright future!" She began singing a rendition of Johnny Nash’s "I Can See Clearly", amazingly on key.

"Nice singing!" quipped Tammy, "You have any platinum records yet?"

"I’m working on it!"

"I wish I could sing like that!" lamented Kulia, "I’m bad!"

"How bad?" asked Hikki.

"Somewhere between a train’s horn and Yoko Ono!"

"You’re not THAT bad!"

"Thank you, Hikki!"

"She must be right, after all, Hikki is a singer!" commented Elka, "I once dreamed of doing that. Now what I dream of the most is the Fiddler marrying me."

"I hope you the best!" said Yolei.

The bridesmaids all gathered in a circle around the two brides. The bridesmaids were mostly wearing light-peach colored oyekas and crowns and necklaces of multi-colored flowers, with the exception of the non-O’ive moogles, who were naked save the flowers. The group danced, then they carried the two brides onto a train-set of three self-propelled Rail Diesel Cars. A sign placed on the platform of Le Tina station identifyed it as "Hers." The train took off to Poru, where they were to get off at a commuter station and go to take in a play, a production called "So What?"

The men were to be taken to natural springs far away from the women, and then be sent on a different train an hour later, to minimize the possibility of the brides "seeing" the grooms.

At the springs an army of attendants showed them to the changing rooms and got their Oyekas ready.

"DWAYNE!" yelled a female voice. A female Ya’a Naomi in a purple yara or dress ran up to Dwayne and hugged him tightly. Her brown fur was shining, and her striped tail was wrapped around Dwayne. "I’m going to help you get nice and shiny for the wedding, yes!"

"Please, I have a girlfriend!"

"Why didn’t I see her?"

"Because she’s on Earth, recovering from a vicious battle!"

"I can be your girlfriend until you leave!" chimed Rina as she hugged him more tightly, and he ran away.

"You know, I’m also a best man and I am actually single!" explained Kiro, "So just leave him alone!"

"And go after who?" asked Rina.

"Me of course, My name is Kiro, I’m a truck-driver, and…"

"I like my men taller!" explained Rina.

Dwayne was shaking his head. Suddenly he had an amorous Ya’a Naomi chasing him. Now he knew how Ian felt back when Megumi’s mother Noriko was chasing him.

"Please, just do your thing, make my skin shiny, get me my threads, but don’t be too pushy!"

"But I like your new hair, and I need a real man!"

"There’ll be plenty of real men at the party!" assured Dwayne. Rina then turned her attention to Kiro to bathe and massage him. Dwayne thought he was out of the woods. He was wrong.

"Time for you!" she said, "now please get undressed!"

"Is this really needed?"

"Come on, I’ve seen you naked before, you’re sexy, I’ll join you if you want!" She began lifting up her yara.

"Please, I’ll do this, but keep your dress on!" pleaded Dwayne. There was only one girl that he wanted to see naked, and she was nowhere nearby. Rina acquiesced, feeling a bit upset as she was hoping to have an intimate encounter with Dwayne.

After he was cleaned and oiled, he put on his best man’s outfit, which included a fluorescent yellow and metallic greenish sarong, a neon purple shirt, and a green and silver jacket.

"Don’t forget you wear your sunglasses at night!" reminded Rina. Dwayne slipped on a pair of shades and looked at himself in the mirror. He smiled.

All of the other of the grooms’ party had their oyekas on, even Sekola, who was wearing a rainbow colored one.

"These things are actually quite comfortable!" commented Creaig, "Just wish they had better colors!"

"I agree!" replied Robert, "But I hope Yolei likes me in my Amtrak robe!" Everyone laughed at that.

The Men’s train headed to the other side of Poru from the women, and the group went to take in a game at the local stadium. It was a game of Myurga-Ball, a sport involving riders on Myurga and trying to carry the ball across the goal line like in football. Woo’oof and the Fiddler were with them.

"Uh, this is Extremer Football!" he commented. "Let’s call DIS the XFL!"

"I still say that XFL will fall flat on its face!" warned Dwayne.

"Feh, I don’t understand this!" quipped the Fiddler. "So who is winning?"

"I must say this is a lot like rugby on horseback!" said Ian.

At 1 P.M. the ceremonies were scheduled to commence. Once again the Tagaloa Temple was used. Kulia would have officiated, as the Matriarch was able to do so, except for one detail…she was one of the ones getting married. So instead the local priestess who coronated Kulia was on hand, as was the Rainbow Priestess, who was nervous, as this was the first time in a long time that pre-Moravian traditions would be used. She noticed that the brides were not wearing chains. During the rule of the Samasama dynasty, brides wore chains and sometimes other restraining devices to symbolize fealty to their husbands. She preferred the "original" traditions, which would be used, although in modified form.

Woo’oof was at the doors, ensuring that everyone was sitting in the correct spot. The room was divided into four "subdivisions", one for each of the four people who were being married, and they were seated appropriately.

"Uh, yer name?" asked Woo’oof to everyone. When SnakeEyes and Angela approached, he said "you two, Subdivision 2B…or not 2B? Dat’s da question! But it’s so easy pointing out your seats! Even I can do it!"

Music started playing, supplied by Ai’a’ive drummers and Moogle flautists and keyboard players, and in walked the grooms. In front of them were the Best Men, Dwayne carrying his Pimp Cane and Kiro carrying a crowbar. Behind them were the grooms. Kuro was wearing many garlands of flowers, as well as some platinum jewelry, including a pendant with the Ai’a’ive Railways logo. On his neck was a crown of leaves. Kerenge wore a bright white oyeka and many leis around his neck. Behind them was Sekola, and behind Sekola were all of the ushers, all of them wearing their oyekas (except for the Moogles) as well as bracelets and necklaces of leaves and flowers. The grooms took their place in front of a large statue of Tagaloa, who was portrayed as a large Ai’a’ive with his wings opened wide and holding a large sphere.

A few moments later the party of the Brides came in. The Maids of Honor came first, Tammy and Kushi. Both were wearing lots of flowers and jewelry. Tammy was wearing a peach colored oyeka that seemed to shine in the light. Behind them were the brides, Lara and Kulia. Kulia was wearing her crown and her cloak, and Lara was wearing her dresses and a rainbow crown of flowers. Behind them was Sara in her rainbow dress, which went well with her rainbow wings. Behind them were the bridesmaids, who were all wearing peach-colored oyekas except for the non-O’ive muguri, who were naked.

When that group reached the front of the room, the ceremonies commenced.

The Ai’a’ive priestess delivered a speech about the special-ness and the sanctity of marriage. She then asked that everyone hug and greet each other while music was played. The Fiddler joined in the music making. After this the couples were led around the temple, to where various statues were, and they paused in front of each one while the Ai’a’ive priestess recited prayers for prosperity, fidelity, longevity, and virility. She then put her hands on their heads, blessed them and told them to hug and kiss.

Next it was the turn of the rainbow priestess, who was still slightly nervous, but doing her best to not show it. She began reciting part of the Book of Rainbow, and at certain parts bright lights that were set up on an overhead gantry flashed, and a loud gong was banged by Simi and Perene simultaneously. The red-haired priestess emphasized certain words and gesticulated with her hands and her hair. She was attired in a white dress, with a rainbow cape attached to her sleeves and her back. Her hair was holding a ceremonial scepter with two carved symbols, representing male and female.

After she was finished the passage, she spoke in a louder voice. Now she spoke a prayer off the cuff. First, she spoke of the great bond of institution that is a Nuanua marriage, with a slight adjustment made to it due to the situation of the double marriage, and the interracial aspects thereof. She asked if there was any couple who had recently been married present. Sekola and Sara came forward. She said a blessing over them, and hoped that the new couples would be as happy as them.

Then it was time for the couples to exchange their vows. Teuila was called with the rings. Teuila was wearing a crown of flowers and a bright gold sequined dress. The rings were fashioned of a simple band, being carved from the wood of the love-fruit tree, and encircled in a ring of bronze. This was to symbolize a bond in love of strength and humility within a marriage, being the traditional type of wedding ring, here on Oava’ia’i. A choir, hidden behind the ceremonial altar, began to sing joyously.

Presently, there was a sudden stop, and quiet prayers for the fallen, the ill, and the dead were quickly spoken. Presently the ghost of Sina appeared, smiling. The two grooms knelt down to their respective brides.

"With this ring, I thee wed. To live in a lifelong bond of a love greater than words can express, I thee wed."said Kuro and Kerenge in unison.

I promise thee, Kulia, to have, and to hold, to love and to respect, to cherish, honour, and care for you, as long as we both shall live." Kuro promised to Kulia,

I promise thee, Lara, to have, and to hold, to love and to respect, to cherish, honour, and care for you, as long as we both shall live." Promised Kerenge to Lara.

Two torches on posts flared up, symbolizing that the ceremonies were now over, as the couples were now married, and the celebrations were to begin.

The choir sang joyously again as the whole party was led from the temple to the Turbotrain.

This train was the same one that carried Sekola and Sara to their celebrations, and the one that Kumere used in his failed attempt to slaughter his children.

Dwayne Wayne was feeling depressed, as this time his girlfriend was not with him. Kushi, Teuila, Sekola and Sara sat with him in the same compartment. The forward two cars were arranged into compartments along one side.

"What’s wrong?" asked Sekola.

"My girlfriend!" replied Dwayne. "Last time I was onboard this train my girlfriend was with me!"

"Awww! Sorry to hear that!" chimed Teuila, as she hugged Dwayne.

"I hope she gets better soon!" said Sekola.

"She’ll recover!" said Sara, "I have great faith in her, and in the people looking after her!"

"Megumi will get real better soon!" said Woo’oof, "You is so cool Dwayne! An’ I know you will be kissing an’ huggin Megumi soon!"

"Thanks everyone!" replied Dwayne.

Ian and Tammy were sitting next to each other in another compartment.

"This oyeka still isn’t my style, but I have to admit it is very comfortable. But it would be awfully difficult to fight in!" commented Ian.

"Thankfully there’ll be no intense fighting tonight, no planets be saved!" Tammy hugged Ian.

They hugged and kissed each other. They were ready to French-kiss when a knock on the door interrupted them.

"Come in!" said Ian. The door opened and in walked a light brownish-pink furred moogle.

"Good afternoon. I’m Amama Mia. On behalf of Ai’a’ive Railways I’d like to thank you for traveling with us! Now, I have a survey that I’d like you to do, I’ll record the answers here and now, no writing, just answer my questions! Firstly, how do you find the ride?"

"Quite comfortable really!" said Ian.

"Good. And do you like the interior decorations of this train!"

"We do!" replied Tammy.

"Excellent. Now, this is a chartered train, what is the special occasion you have chartered it for?"

"We’re merely guests, you should know!"

"Ok, and what do you think of your hosts?"

"Really!" exclaimed Ian, "what does this have to do with the railway?"

"Well, you see, we’re trying to improve the service in all aspects, everything from the interior decorations to the steering to the catenary!"

"Catenary!" exclaimed Ian, "You do realize that this train uses aeroplane engines, do you not?"

"Well, I…"

"What is the final destination of this train, if you really work for Ai’a’ive Railways, which I am beginning to doubt very much!"

"It’s that place, on the line, the…"

"And what is the name of the nearest station? And at what milepost is it located? Can this train handle pointwork very well? Do you have problems with leaves on the line? And who is driving this train?"

"Well, I know Kuro is not driving this train, but….don’t confuse me, I don’t actually know all the railroad words, so don’t railroad me with them!"

"Honey, I think we have a poser," said Tammy, "I smell a rat. A rat, see?"

Ian laughed at the joke, and then quickly picked up the offending moogle. Even if the oyeka might have impeded his kicking abilities, he could still hold, slam, and punch with the best of them. "You made a big mistake, coming into a compartment that has the King of the Fighters. I have belts and medals in twelve different leagues, how many medals do you have? There isn’t a snoopy journalism league, is there? Because if there is you failed!" He held her up and slammed her against the door. He then carried her through the train, up to the front dome, where the happy couples were sitting. Dwayne and the rest of the occupants of his compartment were now in the dome as well.

"Look what I found, ladies and gentlemen!" said Ian.

"Looks like the feller in the CP colored oyeka has found an ornery rat!" laughed Kuro. Just then the train passed by a freight train pulled by former CP locomotives in the "tiger" scheme, and they did seem like Ian’s oyeka.

"Which Ratzi are you?" demanded Kulia.

"I’m not a Ratzi, I’m a railroad employee, I’m Amama Mia!"

"Is that so!" retorted Kuro. "How come I never seen you on any train or at any yard?"

"Well, the reason for that, is…I normally work in a remote yard, up near Pirini!"

"I’ve been to Pirini many times!"

"No, you don’t understand, it’s the extreme extreme north of Pirini!"

"IS THAT SO!" Kuro then began grilling her with all manner of railroad related questions. All of which she was unable to answer correctly. "Ok, so judging by the answers you gave me, this is probably only the second or third time you’ve even been ON a train!"

"Let’s throw Amama from the train!" suggested Kerenge, "without hitting the brakes!"

"that would be too nasty!" said Lara.

"Besides, none of these winders will just open!" explained Kuro, "an’ the doors have speed locks to make sure they don’t open when the train is movin’. We’ll just tell the engineer an’ we’ll let ya off. An’ if I were you I wouldn’t show my hide near the royal family again, missy!" Kuro knocked on the door to the cab (or cockpit, as this train vaguely resembled an aircraft) and told the engineer to stop at the next station because there was a passenger who wasn’t supposed to be there. Kuro then announced into the loudspeaker that there was an unwelcome visitor in the forward dome.

Everyone onboard gathered round to see the bozo.

"You should have tried hitch-hiking in a box-car, you bum!" yelled Creaig at her.

"You were trying to infiltrate us!" mentioned Snake Eyes, "I know the way of the ninja, and I can point out every mistake you’ve ever made. At sneaking, you suck, at disguise, you suck, at everything else, you suck!"

"Any last words to say before we throw you off?" asked Angela.

"Yes, won’t you PLEASE just answer some of my questions?"

"WHAT?" yelled Kerenge, "you’re in deep shit and you have the nerve to ask that? Did Papa drop you on your head or something?"

"Well,"chimed in the moogle,"What do you think of the concept of a double wedding? What are your names—"

"Watch it! And don’t try to screw with me, I am Napoleon Buonaparte-Kahn! You will call me Al Newman’s mother! And I work for Mr. Fish! But you will not call him Mr. Fish! And my trackage is beiger than yours!" shouted an obviously pissed-off Ya’a-Naomi.

"Wha?" Amama gestured

"And furthermore, the toiletries are for the guests, they are not for eating, but you WILL eat all of them, or else my wife, the wrestling star will hurt you!" continued Sekola.

"And don’t forget about me!" added Kiro, "My name is Rubber Duck. We just ain’t gonna pay no toll. And I love running from bears!"

Just then the train pulled into the station, stopped with a jarring jolt, throwing all aboard forward. The doors opened and Amama Mia was unceremoniously kicked off the train by none other than Lara’s new husband, better known as Kerenge.

As soon as Amama was "thrown" from the train, she hadn’t yet hit the ground, it started and they were gone.

Robert and Yolei returned to their compartment. "This is much better than first class aboard the Shikansen."

"You mean the bullet-train?" asked Robert.

"Yes!" Yolei tightly hugged him. Then she locked the door to the hallway.

"What was that for?"

"Shhh, it’s time for the best part of this train ride!" She began passionatly kissing him. Then she pulled him down onto the couch with him. She felt his legs, and he responded likewise.

"Now I get it!" he giggled, as he reached up her oyeka. A wide grin on his face appeared as he reached the top of her thighs, and realized there wasn’t anything on underneath her oyeka. But nothing was on underneath his, either.

"You’re a bit too slow, Amtrak-Boy!" laughed Yolei as she reached forward and pulled up his oyeka. The two were soon relieved of their robes, and, naked, they entered the intimate throes of sexual ecstasy.

Just then, the Turbotrain entered a tunnel.

The train arrived at the destination, a place between the tracks and highway 66. This enormous complex was connected by several sky-bridges to another building that looked like several oversized Samoan fales attached to each other. This huge place had an enormous main restaurant/dance room, which was where the reception was held. It also had smaller amusement areas and bars and cafés and was a popular rest stop. This place was also a fuel-depot.

Everyone was shown to their tables, and they began talking. A few minutes later a band walked onto the stage. It was a twelve part band, all dark brown and black furred moogles, three of them were playing horns, there were also a guitarist, a bassist, a drummer, a pair of singers (one male, one female), and several other musicians who played a few songs. Small snacks were served at this time, along with an open bar. After that some Ai’a’ive waiters went around serving people their meals. Having dinner was almost without incident, except that Elka nearly choked on fish-bones, but the Fiddler applied the Heimlech Maneuver.

"Thank you Ludwig!" replied Elka, as she reached to hug him.

"Be more careful next time!" replied the Fiddler as he brushed away the attempt to hug him.

When the main course was finished, it was time for the couples to make their speeches.

Glasses were clinked with spoons,

"Good Evening to everybody. My name is Dwayne Wayne, and I will be your emcee for the evening. Okay. So, let me get this straight. The new brides and grooms are some of the most far-out gang. Let’s see. We have a double here. First, the lucky guys, Kuro, Kerenge, would either of you like to say a few words to express your feelings?"

A spotlight shone upon the Grooms, and Kerenge took to the microphone. A videographer put the camera on them.. "I guess you’re all wondering why I gathered you here today… It is a great honour to be here, really. I would like to thank all the other star guardians for everything. Lara, I declare that I will always and for all time love you. We’ve been through quite a lot… But We made it!"

Kuro then took the microphone. "I‘ve been lookin’ forward ta bein’ here almost since I first met…Kulia! At first, it took a while ‘fore I took to wantin’ her, but somethin’ in me snapped and I wanted her so much! Suddenly I was highballin’ into dark territory an’ I ain’t lookin’ back! I’ve found somethin’ I love even more ’n trains… and she’s over here! Kulia!"

"Wonderful!" said Dwayne. "Ok, now it’s time for these two lovely ladies to comment. Lara and Kulia, what have you to say?"

"I’m happy that I found my dear Todd Jackson," began Lara, "I thought that there was no man left for me when my former husband…showed me just what kind of sick, twisted old dirty bastard he was!" yelled Lara. "Now that I have that out of my system, I must say that I’m thankful for Kerenge. He’s sweet, handsome, strong, caring, intelligent, what more could I ask for? And he’s mine, mine, MINE! My sweet Kerenge, how much I’ll enjoy spending my life with him!"

Kulia then had the microphone. "When I first met Kuro…honestly, I didn’t like him. I thought he was crazy. I thought he was annoying. And because of what Kushi and Sina told me I really wanted to stay way from him. But then wwhen he helpd me escape from the train that had the bomb on it, I knew he was much nicer than I thought. And then, when he rescued me from Kumere, I knew that Kuro truly was the one for me. Sure, we come from different sides of the tracks, but who cares? I’m happy I found someone." She then walked over to Kuro and kissed him. The crowd let out an "awww" of appreciation. Then they cheered.

"Thank you very much. Now it’s time for the Best Men, and the Maids of Honor. I’ll pass the mic to Kiro now!"

"Thank you very much. You know, I once hated Kuro. I thought he was stuck up, and full of himself. I felt that I was just ‘Kuro’s Brother’, and nothing more. And when I became a trucker to get away from Kuro, it didn’t end. But Kuro is much better. He’s my brother, so he can’t be that bad! And we now get along much better. And Sina wanted us to reconcile. And no one could say no to her! Oh, I’m sayin’ to much!" He hugged his brother, "Kuro, I hope you and Kulia have green lights, no bears, and clean-through!"

"Thank you!" said Dwayne, "Now it’s time for my comments on Kerenge, the man, the certified pimp. WORD! You’re a fly ace, man! You’re a good fighter, a good friend, heck, you’re too good! You even helped save the world from missiles! YOU THE MAN! Ok, now it’s time for the Maids of Honor!"

"Thanks!" began Tammy, "I’m so honored to once again be the Maid of Honor. And I must say everything good about Lara. She’s cool, she’s all that. I’m happy to have you as a friend. You’re a cool fighter, an awesome friend, and she’s even…a good mother. Teuila definitely got all her good stuff from you, Lara!"

Another loud "awww" echoed through the room.

It was now Kushi’s turn. "My sister is the best! She’s wonderful. And she did a really good job as Matriarch. I know, you didn’t go to the mountain, it came to you and knocked you out like Mohammed Ali…or something like that! She was always very smart, so I’d know she could do it. There’s something special about Kulia….I could explain everything that’s good about my sis, but then we’d be here all night, and then I’d have blisters on my tongue!"

Everyone who’d already spoken gave second speeches, and when all that was over, it was time for the band to play the first dance, with the Fiddler adding in his fiddle and the band using the fiddle as their metronome. The brides and grooms danced, as did Kulia’s siblings and Simi and Perene, and Kuro’s parents. After this It was the second dance, which involved Hikki singing something in Japanese, with some English verses about love. Halfway through the dance Hikki announced "The Dance Floor is OPEN!" Everyone got onto the floor and danced.

"THERE YOU ARE!" screamed an enthusiastic Rina, as she ran after Dwayne. "Come on, please dance with me!"

"I can’t!" replied Dwayne, "I have a dance partner already!" quickly he went up to Kushi and Kushi, understanding Dwayne, began dancing with him.

Kushi enjoyed the experience, she just wished that there was a tall, handsome, strong man for her somewhere.

Sekola and Sara were enjoying the dance.

"I remember last time we danced like this, at my wedding, I had problems with my wings!" laughed Sara. "Now I’m perfectly used to them!"

"I imagine our children will have some time, having both wings and tails!" replied her husband.

The next dance Dwayne did give to Rina, but he kept telling her that this didn’t mean anything. Rina, however, kept trying to hug and kiss him, hoping that she’d accomplish something.

She kept whispering sweet nothings into his ears, but it did not work.

Across the room Snake Eyes and Angela were dancing together.

"This is a nice experience!" commented Snake Eyes, in his most enthusiastic voice.

"We all this is all to Dwayne, because of him we ended up meeting each other, because of who he knew we ended up coming here!"

"Too true!"

At one of the tables Ian and Tammy were sitting next to each other. An Ai’a’ive waiter came by.

"I’ll have a dry vodka martini, shaken, not stirred!" ordered Ian.

Tammy grinned a wide grin. Ian was now hers. She only wish that he confessed his love for her early. Although she understood that maybe she didn’t want to let Kushi down during the happy event that was the last wedding. She looked at Ian. He was still as handsome as ever, but the "dry martini" moment was ruined by the fact that he was wearing that white with orange tiger-stripes oyeka instead of the James Bond-esque tuxedo he wore last time. But she knew that one day she’d see him, most likely in a tuxedo, at a really special wedding…theirs.

"You’re very special!" Tammy told Ian, "And very handsome, and very strong!" Ian felt like blushing, but he also felt that he must not.

Kushi came to sit down at their table.

"Still nobody!" she sighed.

"Koosh, these things take time!" explained Tammy, "I’m sure there’s someone special waiting for you!"

"Lara, You, and Sara all have nice men, why can’t I?" complained Kushi.

The two hugged her.

It was soon time for the first special event. The music stopped.

Dwayne went to the emcee’s spot, tapped the microphone, and asked "May I have your attention please!" Everyone stopped talking. "It’s time for the O’ive Chair Dance. The Fiddler will lead this, so let’s give a round of applause now!" Everyone did so. "Ok, get the chairs, and get READY TO CHAIR DANCE!"

Four ornate chairs were carried into the center of the room. Kulia, Kuro, Lara and Kerenge were motioned to sit on the chairs. Some of the ushers came to pick up the chairs, while the Fiddler began fiddling, and a couple of other O’ive began playing other instruments and singing the Hava Nagillah. While this was going on the chairs were carried around the room and lifted up and down, and everyone clapped.

"Look, no seatbelt!" laughed Kerenge, caught in the excitement of the event.

"You’re quite chair-ful!" commtented Lara, deliberatly mispronouncing "cheerful."

Once it was finished the chairs were lowered.

"Can I go on dat ride now?" asked Woo’oof.

"As the O’ive would say, Oy Vey!" exasperated Mia’aou in disbelief.

"In a few minutes the desserts will arrive, but first, we’re going to do some more dancing!" announced Dwayne.

The next dance was a slow dance with Hikaru and local sensation Rasela singing and the Fiddler providing the music. Simi and Perene were dancing with Moa and Niu (the sisters of the Star Child), while Dwayne was dancing with Keise, one of the three "Flower Princesses" of the distant land of Faeria. Rina was dancing with the Star Child, hoping that he would at least have "better taste in women" than Dwayne Wayne had.

A couple of dances later, Dwayne made another announcement. "Ok, it’s now time for dessert. Hope you’re hungry!" he laughed.

Dessert included cheesecake, Nuanua "Rainbow" cake, a wide assortment of fruits and pastries, and a wide selection of ice creams.

"This is sweet!" commented Lara, between two bites of cheesecake.

"Not as sweet as you!" replied Kerenge. Lara didn’t say anything, she just hugged him with her prehensile braids.

Some people continued helping themselves to extra servings, others went back to dancing.

"Now for our next event, LET’S GET READY TO…LIMBO!" It was a limbo contest that used a long staff attached to a pair of posts with a pulley system to enable the bar to be easily raised and lowered as need be. The last survivor was Kalete, but given the average height of Moogles it was no surprised one of them was the last holdout.

"Time for the luck and happiness to be spread!" announced Dwayne. Teuila was given a pair of bouquets of flowers, which she handed to Lara and Kulia. Lara and Kulia took turns tossing the bouquets into the crowds of hopeful women. Tammy caught Kulia’s bouquet, and Angela caught Lara’s flowers.

"Ain’t that wonderful. Looks like Tammy and Angela will soon be tying the knot! And now it’s the guys’ turns. Let’s see what will be used…A sarong from Kulia and Lara’s outer dress! And the lucky hubbies will do the throwing!"

Kuro went first, and he threw the blue and white sarong with a running throw. Ian caught this one. Then Kerenge helped Lara out of her outer dress, revealing to the gathered crowd her inner dress. Kerenge held the dress by one of the sleeves and began turning around as though he was a professional hammer thrower. He let go, and this time Creaig caught it.

"Keep those souvenirs, gentlemen! Now we’re going to call Earth!" at that, a large projection screen lowered. "There are a few people who should have been here but were not. Sadly, most of them will never be at another celebration like his ever again. But there are a couple who we’re about to talk to." Strange noises filled the air, and the words "Attempting to Connect: Please Stand By" appeared on the screen. "These people are Mai Subarai and Megumi Aragami. I must warn you now, Megumi may be unconscious, and she may possibly have hospital equipment around her, possibly even an alualu," warned Dwayne, remembering the local term for what’s either known as "the tubes" or "the intravenous" in English.

An image of an old Japanese woman appeared on the screen, she was wearing a simple brown and red yukata (a less formal version of the well-known kimono) and behind her, in bed, with a couple of tubes stuck into her right arm, was a red-haired woman.

"Konichiwa!" greeted Mai.

"Konichiwa!" greeted everyone in reply. A conversation started. Everyone felt happy.

"Woo’oof!" said Mai sternly, "be thankful that I couldn’t make it. I will eventually beat you at King of the Fighters!"

"You is so funny!" replied Woo’oof, "I is to video games like Brazil nuts are to dat ball-kicking game!"

"Even they sometimes losesnapped back Mai. "Oh, looks like Megumi is awake! It was only yesterday that she first woke up, even though she’s been in less than critical condition for some time!"

"What’s with all these visitors?" asked Megumi in Japanese. Then she realized it was through a monitor. "Hi everyone!" she said in a slightly week manner.

"Megumi, since you couldn’t come to the celebrations, we’re bringing part of the celebrations to you!" began Dwayne.

"That’s right!" added Kuro, "Kulia and I are mighty happy, we’se gotten married!"

"Us too!" added Lara, as she hugged Kerenge.

They talked for a bit, and then Hikki broke the good news. "I OPENED IT!" said Hikki.

"What?" asked Megumi.

"The package!" said Mai.

"From the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare!" replied Hikki, "Domo Arigato, Megumi…or should I say…Mom? Or is ‘Aunty’ better?" Megumi laughed, the first time she laughed since her sword-fight incident.

"That’s wonderful news. Stay safe, stay out of trouble, and stay away from demented women with swords!"

"I will!"

The video-connection was kept open so that the next two events could be seen by Mai and Megumi.

The Skywalkers went to a changing room and changed into their wrestling outfits (cloud-colored bodysuits) to take on the sisters of the Star Child in a wrestling match. This time there were no stakes to be decided. And this time Angeliques use of a clothesline followed by a European Uppercut followed by a Samoan Drop to Niu meant victory for the Skywalkers.

"We’ll win next time!" boasted Moa.

After that was another fight, this time it was "freestyle", and Ian and Perene went to change. Ian got into a pair of tights, and Perene put on the orange sarong he wore while in the army. They exchanged punches, then Perene attempted a super kick to Ian, but Ian caught the leg and prepared to take him down. Perene countered this and Ian was smashed to the ground. The two got back up and then came down again with a Nelson by Ian. Perene recovered, pushed Ian down and began to do the Mad Drummer, a move that entailed banging on Ian’s head with his fists and stomping with one leg on his back, while using his remaining leg for support. It seemed certain Perene would win, but Ian rolled and did a sweep kick to topple Perene. The two then continued exchanging moves, neither one with the upper hand, until Ian suddenly unleashed a simple knife-edge chop at Perene’s neck. He held Perene down and the match was won.

"Good fight!" said Perene.

"You fought admirably," replied Ian. The two went to change back into their oyekas.

After that Mai and Megumi said their goodbyes, as Dr. Robert was due to visit them, and the connection was severed.

Then the lights went out.

"A power failure?" asked the platinum-blonde Mitsu, as she used her powers to make her eyes and hair glow, providing some light. Loookie and Mia’aou also turned on their lights.

"Please turn those lights off!" requested Dwayne, "This is NOT a power failure!"

A few moments later multi-colored pyrotechnics went off, and then a quartet of male Ai’a’ive fire dancers came onto the stage and began twirling fire, first to the beat of drums, and for the second performance, more dangerous stunts, including "passing the baton" were done to the Fiddler’s music. After this the lights came back on.

After more dances and even a couple of contests, as while as more performances by the band, the Fiddler, Hikki and Ai’a’ive singing sensation Rasela, the party was over. Gifts were presented to the couple, and then stashed into one of the cars of the Turbotrain. Everyone returned to the hotel.

"Ah’m so happy!" shouted Kuro, as he carried his new wife to bed.

"Me too!" replied Kulia, "and now there’s only one thing left to make the best day even better!" She fluttered her eyes and writhed seductively.

"I’m feelin’ a tad tired now, maybe in the mornin’?"

"No silly, now!" She kissed him, and then began kissing a trail down to his intimate regions. It worked, and now he was ready for her to mount him. "There’s nothing like the feeling of the one you love being INSIDE you!" she laughed, as she slid herself onto him, and a round of intimacy began.

Kerenge and Lara were sitting in their room, looking out the window at the starry sky. They were deep in contemplation, thinking about their life together, fguring out where they’d eventually settle down, and even what names they’d chose for any children they had. A loud knocking interrupted them.

"Come in!" said Lara. The door opened and in walked Teuila. She closed the door behind her. The couple sat down on the bed and motioned Teuila to have a seat.

"It was a wonderful time!" said Teuila, as she hugged them tightly.

"I’m happy you enjoyed it, Sei!" replied Lara.

"I just wanted to tell my new dad that he’s cool!"

"Thanks!" replied Kerenge.

"I guess I’ll be going now!" said Teuila, "I just wanted to say hi, but I’ll go now, because you’re just married, I imagine you want some time alone!"

"No, please stay!" said Lara. "And lock the door!" Teuila thought the request was odd but she did so.

"Why did you want me to lock the door?" asked Teuila.

"We’re about to make love!" replied Lara. Both Teuila and Kerenge were confused. "It’s another Nuanua tradition, that when a couple are married, they let the closest one to them watch them consummate their marriage for the first time. You’re the closest one to me and Kerenge!"

"Ok!" said Teuila, as she watched Kerenge cast off his Oyeka and Lara remove her dress. The naked couple lied down and kissed each other, and everyone was breathing heavily. Teuila watched with concentration as Kerenge and Lara did the deed. A few minutes later it was all over. The two rolled onto their backs and pulled the sheets up. "Uh, Thank you…I guess!" said Teuila.

"I’m sorry if it was awkward for you!" replied Lara, "but it’s a Nuanua tradition. And what we did was perfectly natural. I did it with He Who We Shall Not Name, and that’s why you were born!" She then explained a few more things to Teuila. "Think of this as a coming of age. And why not, we’re considered grown up at 16 where I’m from!"

Teuila came forward to kiss the two goodnight, and then left. As soon as she had left the couple were at it again.

And they knew they would be happy for a long time in their new marriage.

The Age of Kulia had dawned. A couple of days later the guests returned to their homes.

Special Thanks: Laurence Tennenbaum, Showstopper

Shoutouts: The Usual

And so the story ends, IT ENDS! And I hope you liked this story. Expect the fifth book in the not so distant future. And expect things to get slightly dark.