There were always two of us, me and my sister. Twins, identical even. When we were little Mum would make us wear the same clothes and would do our hair the same way. It was always the same way - a pair of pigtails. "Pigtails for my piggy little Renae and my piggy little Caitlyn." She would say as she sat down to brush our hair. Nowadays, we barely look the same. Not that it matters; I wouldn't want to look like her anyway. I'm happy being Caitlyn who doesn't look like Renae - I wouldn't want to look like that.

My sister was a smart girl, she always had an answer for everything, but I think she used to make some of it up. Pity she didn't have an answer for herself. Teachers would always get us confused, but I'm sure they secretly thought of Renae as the 'smart one' and me as the 'dreamer one'. Didn't matter though, not in the end. It all happened so slowly, over such a long period of time, I didn't even know it was happening.

After our first day in high school, when we had tea, Renae wouldn't eat anything. It didn't seem like much, but I assume that's when it started. She'd go to the gym almost everyday after school and would try to drag me along with her. I went most of the time, but afterwards, when I was gorging on fruit and ice cream, she wouldn't eat a thing. I just thought she was trying to get even fitter for her running.

At home, Renae would just sit in her room with the door locked and talk on the phone to her friends. She had become one of the popular group and was always talking about how she needed the latest clothes and shoes to fit in at school. "You're so naive," she told me once, laughingly "you don't honestly believe that they'd like me if I weren't pretty do you?" After awhile she stopped eating completely, I didn't understand it, after all, surely even the models on her magazine covers ate sometime.

Then, that day last week it all appeared to make sense. I was at school, in maths, almost falling asleep, when I got called up to the office. They wanted to know about Renae and how she was doing at home. "Fine," I said "she's doing fine." Because that's what I thought she was. Fine. The lunch bell rang and I went to find my sister. It wasn't hard; after all she always sat in the same place. Right in the center of the courtyards, in clear view of everyone. She loved attention, not like me, I shrank away from it.

"Renae!" I called, I remember it clearly. "What've you been doing? They called me up to the office to talk about you." Renae turned around slowly, most likely wishing I would go away and not embarrass her in front of her popular friends. I didn't care; I wanted to talk to my sister. "Cait," she sighed, "I've been finding what I need in life." I shook my head and she began to cough and retch, her very thin, bony frame racked with convulsive movement. I went over to her and put my hand on her shoulder and tried to get her to drink some water.

She wouldn't drink it. Then Peter, one of the guys in her group came over and tried to make me go away. "What have you done to her?" I demanded, furious at him for taking me away from my twin. "I haven't done anything, she's done it all for me." He said slyly. "What has she done?" I yelled, my shyness forgotten. "She's done what she needed to do to become the prettiest girl at school of course, look at her, she's just the right size for a girl your age. Unlike you." He jeered at me. I looked at Renae, still coughing and being supported by one of her best friends. I looked at her sunken cheeks and her jutting cheekbones; through the thin paper like uniform you could see her collarbone clearly. Her eyes, when she looked up, were absent of life and colour, her lovely blue grey eyes, the ones we shared, were like a mist.

"You're a monster Peter! Why the hell would you tell her to do that to herself, she was thin enough with out your meddling," I yelled, knowing something very bad was going to happen soon. I could just tell, the way my thinner self sat there, taking every breath slowly and carefully. She lifted her head to look at me, even when she looked like this she was proud. Too proud to accept help. Renae stood, and like a ghost, drifted over towards me. She looked so delicate, so out of place in this big bold world, I was almost afraid she was going to be blown away with the next breath of wind.

"Caitlyn," she rasped "I chose the right way," she began coughing again, but smoothed it quickly "we, we started this life together." "And?" I said, my heart racing at what was going to come next. My sister never talked like this. "And you have to finish it for us. This isn't your fault Cait, I'm better off like this." My eyes widened as she collapsed onto the paved brick ground. I heard a terrible crunch, and a crack that could shatter windows. I could see her as she fell. Her face was immobile, like a mask. Her greyed eyes fought a battle I couldn't hear. Then as she drifted to the hard ground her eyes closed. I knew she was gone. I yelled at some one to go to the office and get an ambulance, I'm pretty sure I did. They came anyway, and took Renae away on a stretcher in the roaring van.

Three weeks later I stand here, in the rain, my own tears mingling with the tears of the heavens. The stone slab sits on the earth in front of me, it's words engraved deeply into the granite as if they are there as a warning of what can happen and for people to not forget. I threw a flower in when the coffin was being laid, as Mum told me too, I wasn't really thinking, it was all too much. After it was covered over, we released a white dove, I can't remember why, all I could see was a blurry white bird in my hands and then it was gone. All I was thinking was, it's all just wasted - her life could have been so much more.