Author's note: This is a work in progress which I work on whenever I feel motivated. I just updated, yay! Only a small new section, but I also changed the tense of the dream sequences to make it less confusing. I hope to update more frequently now. Rated PG-13 for slight language and violence. Please read and review, I would really appreciate it! Thanks a lot! ~ Trinity

Amnesia

I regained consciousness a few hours before dawn. The moon shone in a pale crescent overhead. I was in the grass beside a large highway. Cars zoomed past, not noticing me laying on the ground. My entire body ached, and I could see several bruises beginning to form on my arms and legs. A dull, throbbing pain seared through my head. I hesitantly reached up to touch my hair, and felt wetness. I withdrew my hand and found slightly clotted blood on my fingertips. Another pain came from my left ankle. Examining it, I found that it was bent at a strange angle, swollen, and painful to the touch. My legs were badly scratched as well. I was groggy, but knew that I had to do something.

Taking a deep breath, I shakily got to my feet. A moment later, I wished that I hadn't bothered. It was very difficult to remain standing, and I nearly cried out in pain. I tried to put all of my weight on my strong ankle, and was relieved of the awful pressure on my left foot.

I decided to hitchhike, knowing that some kind soul would be willing to help me. I needed to get to a hospital, or better yet, home. My parents would be worried sick. Once they knew I was okay, they could take me to the emergency room. A strange worry, a fear, halted my thoughts and chilled my body, turning my blood to ice. Something was terribly wrong, but I didn't know what. I tried to ignore it, knowing that I probably had a mild concussion. Maybe that was the cause of these strange feelings. I stood at the shoulder of the highway and stuck a thumb out, hoping for a ride.

Many cars passed, the drivers giving no sign that they noticed me standing by the side of the road. Finally, after what seemed like an hour, a forest green SUV pulled over into the shoulder of the road. The passenger door opened and revealed a woman in her thirties with a kind smile on her face. "Do you need a ride?" she asked. I nodded numbly, clambered into the car, and we drove away.

She looked over at me. "You don't look too good. Are you alright?" Before I could respond, she examined me more carefully and exclaimed, "Your head is bleeding! And you're bruised all over! You should see a doctor."

I nodded and said, "I know. I think I may have broken my ankle also. I should go to the hospital after getting home."

The strange fear surged through me again. The woman looked at me, concerned. "Well, as long as you are all right. What are you doing out here this late, anyway? It's not safe for a girl your age." she asked.

I smiled weakly, and said, "I really don't remember. I just want to go home."

"Well, I'll drive you there. I'm not in a hurry. What's your name? Where do you live?"

A pang of fear and realization struck me. Something clicked in my brain. I almost screamed, finally understanding why I had felt so strangely when I was thinking about my home and my family. I started hyperventilating, and the woman looked quizzically at me for an answer to her question, concern again tightening her pleasant features.

"I don't remember," I whispered.

We were silent for the rest of the ride. The woman looked like she did not know what to do with me. She started to ask a question, but decided against it. Instead, she took the exit to the city hospital. We arrived at the emergency room door, and she helped me get out of the car. My ankle was feeling worse, and I had trouble limping along. Doctors took me into a room and started questioning the woman who had helped me. A nurse helped me into a bed. Darkness engulfed me as I lost consciousness once more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The party is at Jeremy's house. I knock on the door, and Jeremy answers, wearing a grin. "Glad you could make it, Emma," he says, letting me in to the house. "Enjoy yourself." I nod and smile back. Loud music pounds from the living room, where people are dancing and talking. Some are slumped on couches and eating snacks, while others are standing around taking in the scene around them. I see Mark standing on the side and looking around. I go over to him and give him a quick hug and kiss. "Hey sweetie. How are you doing?" I ask.

He toys with a lock of my hair, smiling down at me. His deep, soulful eyes keep me entranced. "I'm good. You?" I nod and smile in reply. "You missed some crazy stuff earlier. Josh was breakdancing," Mark says.

"I'm glad I wasn't here for that. It makes me nervous; all that head spinning seems dangerous. And dizzying. No wonder Josh is so weird," I say, laughing. "Anything else going on?"

"Shayna wanted to see you. She's hanging out with her loverboy, Steve, over there." Mark nods to where Shayna is indeed talking with Steve, the most recent guy to catch her attention.

"Okay, thanks, Mark. I'll see you a little later. Save a dance for me, okay?" I look up expectantly into his face. He smiles and nods.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

I go to the kitchen to find a soda from the giant cooler on the floor. The ice is mostly melted, so I have to reach into the cooler of frigid water. I fish out something suitable, and walk back to the room where Shayna is. After waiting for a pause in her conversation with Steve, I interject. "Hi, Shayna; Steve. You wanted to talk to me, Shayna?" I ask.

Steve smiles politely and steps aside. "I'll talk to you later, Shayna," he says as he walks off.

"You like him; it seriously shows," I say quietly, once Steve is out of earshot. "Shayna's in loooovvvveeee!" I tease.

"So what if I like him? It's not a crime," she shoots back, her cheeks darkening from their normal mocha color.

"Hey, don't get touchy! I'm just messing with you. You two would make a good couple."

Her normally harsh face softens. "Well, thanks. It's a relief that my best friend approves of my crush," she says with a throaty laugh.

"What did you want to see me for, anyway?" I inquire.

Shayna casts her eyes down. "Well, I know this is kinda embarrassing."

I nudge her arm playfully, yet feel a little nervous. "C'mon, you can tell me."

"Fine! Emma, could you help me study for the midterms?"

I nearly laugh out loud. I had been thinking she had done something to be ashamed of. "Of course, girl! We're friends, and it's more fun if you've got a study buddy," I say cheerfully.

"Don't start getting all hyper on me. Thanks, though," Shayna smiles.

I shrug. "No problem. You can help me with math, and I'll help you with science."

"Great. Thank you. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to talk with Steve some more." Shayna says.

"Rawr!" I wiggle my eyebrows. "Have fun."

Shayna gives me a lopsided grin. "Shut up!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up in a cold sweat. What had my dream meant? I could not tell whether it was my actual life or just a figment of my imagination. I had known the personalities and names of the people who had been my friends in the dream. It was very odd. A nurse entering the room interrupted my thoughts.

"Well, dear, how are you feeling this morning? The ankle doing better?" She asked.

My attention was brought to my ankle, which was in a cast and sling. It was not very painful. My suspicion that it had been broken was correct. "I'm fine. My memory hasn't returned though." I told her nothing of my dream.

"The woman who brought you in told us about that. We fixed up your ankle and looked at your concussion," the nurse said. "It seems to us that the concussion probably didn't cause the amnesia. The doctors think it may be a result of some mental or emotional trauma. A psychiatrist will be in later to talk to you and sort it out. We'll find out who you are, and the psychiatrist will help you regain your memory."

"I'd like that," I replied.

"Here, have some breakfast." The nurse gestured absently to a tray of waffles by the side of the hospital bed. "And if you want any books, magazines, just tell me. My name's Mary, by the way."

"Thank you, Mary. I would like something to read. The only problem is, I don't remember what I like to read," I said with a small smile.

"That's all right. We'll fix you up with something. While you're in here, you can rediscover your identity."

"Thanks again," I said, and began to eat my spongy waffles, trying to keep my mind off the dream.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A woman, the same one who had helped me the night before, hurried into my room. "Honey, I couldn't bear to leave you here without knowing you were all right. You remember me, don't you?" she said in one breath.

I laughed. "Slow down, slow down!" I exclaimed. "I'm just fine, trying to figure things out. Thanks for caring, I'm really flattered."

"I'm Liz," the woman said, extending her hand for me to shake. I took it, and her grip was firm. "Until you have other relatives to visit, I'd like to come and see how you're doing. I'm a working woman, without anyone to care for." A wistful look came into her eyes, as she dreamed of what might have been.

"That's sweet of you. Thank you very much. You were the first person I met. After whatever happened to me."

"No problem. Are you sure you're all right?"

I thought a moment, wondering whether I should tell her about the dream. She seemed genuinely concerned, but I thought it would be better not to mention it. "I'm fine, really, thanks for your concern." Not a huge lie, but it still made me feel guilty.

"All right. Get some rest, okay?"

This woman seemed like a mother figure to me. I smiled and nodded, and Liz left the room. I really was quite tired, but afraid of dreaming again, I watched a TV movie on the small television that was on the wall of the room opposite my bed. During this, Mary came in with a small stack of novels and magazines. She left them on the bedside table and I thanked her. Mary reminded me that a psychiatrist would be coming in later to talk to me. I felt a little nervous at this.

I began to read one of the books, a medical murder mystery, and found that I liked it very much. After a while though, I got tired and decided to take a nap, for better or for worse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I re-enter the living room and see numerous bodies gyrating to the loudly pumping music. I search the room for faces that I recognized. Many are unfamiliar; Jeremy's friends from other schools. Shayna and Steve have moved off to a quieter corner and are talking together seriously. I shake my head and grin to myself. They really are quite cute together, I think to myself. I turn my attention to a raucous group in the center of the dance floor. Josh is in the center of attention, as always. He is raving, quickly spinning the fluorescent glow sticks in his agile hands.

Not quite so agile as usual, I notice after a moment's watching. He appears a bit drunk. I wonder where he had obtained the booze, as he is seventeen and Jeremy did not supply it. Most of my friends and I chose not to drink or do drugs, but some of them, like Josh, were not so innocent. I only hope that he won't do anything foolish.

Scanning the crowd again, I find a small group of my friends. My boyfriend Mark, looking attractive as always, noticed me and smiles. I join him and greet my other friends who are with him. A close friend Anne, a short, smiling girl, all sweetness and innocence, and her boyfriend Sam, sturdy and athletic yet studious, are there. My cousin Laura is also there, the wonderful and spunky redhead who I love like a sister. We all chat for a while, not in the mood to dance just yet. Jeremy comes over and enters the conversation, and we all talk and laugh like the good friends we are.

After a while, a slow song comes on, and Anne and Sam go off to dance. Jeremy and Laura keep talking as Mark and I move back to the dance floor. He puts his arms around my waist and I wrap mine around his neck. He pulls me close and I rest my head against his strong chest. I close my eyes as we sway softly from side to side, knowing that this is true bliss.

After a minute or two, Mark lifts my head, one gentle finger under my chin. He leans in to kiss me, and I tilt my head towards him in acceptance. We kiss passionately, and I know that we have something special. When our lips part, I whisper, "I love you."

"I love you too," Mark responds softly. "More than anything."

We spend the rest of the dance in each other's arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I awoke feeling strangely connected to the continuation of my dream. It had felt so real. But if it were something that had happened to me, why would I remember it in dreams? I wished that I knew what was going on so I could figure out how to cope.

It was late afternoon, I noted when I looked out the window. I must have really needed the sleep, I mused. How long had it been? Suddenly, a knock on the door broke my chain of thought. "Come in," I said.

A tall, clean-shaven man in his forties entered the room. He introduced himself with a handshake. "Hi, I'm Dr. Neilson, the psychiatrist."

"Nice to meet you. I'm." I trailed off, unsure how to continue.

"It's alright, I am aware of your situation. Something happened, you don't know what, that caused your various injuries, and in the process you have forgotten your entire life. Am I correct?"

"That's right."

"I'm sure you're an intelligent person, so I would like to explain the situation to you," Dr. Neilson continued. "The more common type of trauma-related amnesia causes you to forget the event because of the mental and emotional stress it causes. The amnesia is the attempt of your unconscious to shield your conscious from pain. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I think so." Somehow, this information seemed familiar. "Go on," I said.

"But in your case, all of your personal memories, such as who you are and where you live, have also been stored in the unconscious. It's my job to help you rediscover these memories." Dr. Neilson searched my face for comprehension, but instead found doubt. "What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing. Well actually." I paused, unsure whether to share my dreams.

"Feel free to tell me anything. What you say in these sessions is confidential. You can trust me."

I decided to continue. "Since I've been in the hospital, I've had these amazingly realistic dreams. I know all the people in them, and I experience everything, more than in my regular dreams. I think the dreams might be a memory of something in my life. But thinking about it now, that idea sounds dumb," I said doubtfully.

"No, not at all," Dr. Neilson encouraged. He knitted his brow for a few minutes, deep in thought. He finally spoke. "It is quite possible that some memories may have surfaced from your unconscious to your subconscious, from which dreams arise. I suggest that you write down these dreams in as much detail as you can before you forget them. Who knows, you may have more."

"I'll do that. Oh, and I have a question. How are you going to help me find out my identity?" I asked.

"We found out who you are already. We checked your fingerprints and matched them to your birth record, which happened to be at this hospital. I'm supposed to ease you into your rediscovery of yourself until your amnesia is remedied. We've notified your parents that you are here, but they shouldn't visit you just yet. It could be very uncomfortable for both you and your parents if you do not remember them. They are worried and anxious to see you, so we will allow them to visit soon."

"Okay. Thank you." I paused. "Since you know my name, can I ask you what it is? Is my name Emma?" A sense of urgency gripped me. I needed to know whether my dreams could be real. He looked down at his chart, and his eyes widened slightly. "It is. Emma Greenfield." Dr. Neilson said, a bit surprised.

My breath caught in my throat. "Then at least one part of my dreams was right."

"Maybe you're closer to regaining your memory than I thought." Dr. Neilson appeared to consider an idea for a moment. "Tell me, could the dreams have retold events that happened last night? Were there any indications that the dream recalled events leading up to your amnesia?"

I tried to recall the setting of the dreams, any clues to tell me when it had taken place. "I can't remember."

"That's okay. Write the dreams down and see if you can remember anything. We'll start the therapy tomorrow. If you have another dream like those, write that down too and tell me about it."

"Okay. Thank you." I said.

Doctor Neilson left the room, and I was left with my own thoughts.

A few minutes later, Mary came to check up on me and brought me dinner. I wrote down my dreams and tried to work them out. No new revelations came to my aid. I read some more and at around ten at night, decided to go to sleep.

It was only when I was beginning to doze off that I remembered something from my first dream.

A calendar, with a circle around yesterday's date, and a note which read "Jeremy's party".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I yawn. "I'm tired," I say. It is after one, and I have to get up at eight this morning. "I had a great time, but I need to get home. Can anyone give me a ride?"

"I got a ride in with Anne and Sam, but they already left," Shayna says. "I could use one too."

"Why don't we see if anyone else is going our way," Mark suggests. "I'll ask around." With that, he walks off toward a group of other people from our school. There are few guests left, and the party is pretty much over.

"Great party, Jeremy," Shayna comments. "They'll be talking about this one for ages."

"Thanks," Jeremy says with a smile. "Glad you had fun. I'm sure my parents had trouble sleeping with all the noise." His grin widens. Jeremy's parents had opted not to leave the house to him without their presence on the next floor.

"I'm sure they won't be pleased about the mess," I say. I have already helped Jeremy clean up somewhat, but there are still food crumbs and spilled drinks everywhere.

He groans. "Don't remind me. I'll have to use some stain remover and vacuum before they get up."

"I can't imagine you cleaning, especially this mess." Shayna says. "At least your parents let you have the party. My parents would spaz if I had more than five friends at my house at one time."

I spot Mark walking back towards us. "Any luck?"

"Yeah," he replies. "Josh is going now, and says he can drop us off at our houses."

"Great," I say. "Bye, Jeremy. See you on Monday."

"Bye, guys," he says as we stand at the door, prepared to leave. "Guess I should tell the others to get going."

"That may take a while," Mark says. "They look pretty comfortable." True to his words, the few remaining people are lounging on the couches and talking loudly.

"You may have to let them sleep over," Shayna says with a laugh. "They don't look like they will want to move."

"God, I hope not," Jeremy exclaimes. "I already have enough to handle."

"Good luck," Mark says. We walk out the door and wait by Josh's car. A few moments later, Josh joins us outside. Mark and Shayna get into the back, I sit up front with Josh, and we drive off.

None of us speak until we are out on the highway. When the silence becomes too thick, I say, "Thanks for the ride, Josh."

"What? Oh, yeah. No problem." His speech is slightly slurred, and his breath smells strongly of cheap beer.

Crap, I think, that was irresponsible of me. In the fun of the party, I have forgotten that Josh was drunk. Mark somehow must not have noticed it when asking for a ride. Josh seems to be much more intoxicated than before. This could be a problem. I look behind me at Mark and Shayna. I mouth the word "drunk". They look at me uncomprehending for a moment, and then realization dawns on first Shayna's, and then Mark's face.

"Hey, Josh?" I ask casually.

"Yeah?"

"You look tired. How about you stop the car and let me drive?" I ask.

"No way. You'll wreck my car." More like the opposite, I think. "I'm the only one who can drive this baby," Josh continues. With his annoyance, the car begins to veer as he pays less attention to the road.

"Come on, Josh," Shayna urges. "Emma knows the way better, and it will give you a rest."

"Just give her the keys," Mark agrees.

"Hell no! I'm driving, and when I start, I don't wanna just stop," Josh says. As his anger increases, the car swerves, and we narrowly miss colliding with a car in the next lane.

I look back at Shayna and Mark in the back seat. Mark shrugs, not knowing what to do. I look ahead, focus my energy, and say, "Josh, I'm stopping the car." I reach over and prepare to shift the car into neutral so I can slow it down.

Before I know what is happening, I feel the wind knocked out of me. Uncomprehending, as I struggle to regain my breath, I reach forward, only to be shoved back again. "Bitch, what do you think you're doing?" Josh asks, rage apparent in his voice.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Mark screams.

"Josh! Stop it!" Shayna cries. "You're hurting her."

"Shut up! I can't concentrate when you're yelling!" Josh bellows. The car swerves dangerously, and I shake in fear.

I look over at Mark and see he is tightly grasping Josh's hair and shirt collar. I hear Mark's voice again, strong and softer than before. "If you touch her again, I will knock you out. Emma, are you okay?" He continues, concerned.

"No. Josh, stop the car! Please!" I cry out, hoping for the horror to stop.

No sooner have I said this than Josh yanks open the front passenger door, forcefully lifts me out of my seat, and throws me out of the door. Pain surges through my entire being, and my world goes black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I jolted upright in bed and heard a loud scream. A feeling in my throat made me realize that I was the one screaming. I stopped and gasped for breath. Perspiration drenched my body and my sheets were on the floor. Mary, the nurse, came running in.

"What's wrong? Are you in pain? Did you have a nightmare?" She said in one breath.

Once I had gained the ability to speak, I said, "No. Well actually sort of."

"What do you mean," she asked.

"I remember."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ten minutes later, I was in the shower. I had made some feeble excuse to Mary, and hobbled to the bathroom with a plastic bag tied around my cast. I didn't want to talk about what I had just dreamed, what I had just remembered. I was numb with shock. As I stood in the shower, the burning hot water pelting my skin, I suddenly began to cry. First came small whimpers, succeeded in time by sobs and overflowing tears. Breaking down, I sank to the floor. I gave up on trying to shower and turned off the water. I remained on the floor, though, sitting in the corner and crying.

It was only after ten more minutes that I was able to compose myself enough to get up. I toweled myself dry and dressed. I forced myself to stop crying, swallowing the sobs. I knew there was no use being upset. What had happened had happened, and there was nothing I could do to reverse it. True, I was foolish to forget that Josh was drunk. And I may have been stupid to try and get Josh to stop driving, but my reasoning was solid. How was I supposed to know that he was going to react like that?

These thoughts led me to wonder what Shayna and Mark had done after Josh had thrown me out of the car. Surely they must have gained control of the situation and gone back to look for me. But then why didn't they find me? I was hard to see, lying in the grass on the side of the highway, yes, but Shayna and Mark still should have found me. But what if the reason that they didn't find me is that they couldn't get Josh out of the driver's seat? Mark would have knocked Josh out after Josh threw me out of the car. But what if he couldn't? What if Josh knocked Mark out instead? He could have done the same to Shayna. And they could both have been in danger.

I tried to push the horrible thoughts out of my head, but it proved impossible. I made up my mind to talk to Dr. Neilson about my final dream. He had told me to come to him about any new dreams, and since I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened, I figured there was no harm in staying on the subject.

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AN - That's all so far! Sorry not much of an update. I'll try to get more up soon. Please review, that's what I live for!