Title: No Regrets

Author: Invu50      

Warnings: Slash! Of a definite sort :D

Pairings: Arical + Nicolai; Devika + Alexes; Nicolai + Alexes; Arical + Kindle

Claimer: They’re all mine. ‘Specially Kindle. He’s my favourite so far :D (cuddles Kindle)

Kindle: (tries desperately to get away) Go hug Cal!! He’s the one you want! Gerroff me!

Invu50: (giggles evilly)

Er… yea… O.o;

Chapter Ratings: PG13 for violence. Mmm, fire :D

Author’s Notes: Sorry this took a long time. I blame it on the prissy policewoman. She was a real bitch O.o; good thing Cerise knew how to handle her …. I still don’t like Cerise that much though. Fav’s Kindle. Then Cal and Dev are tied… hopefully, this will make you like Kindle better… Not what he does, but what cal says to him. Poor Kindle… He really hates his life T.T O.o;; Anyway, read, enjoy, and please review!!

I don’t know when the police arrived. All I know is that I woke up to panicked yells and angry screams that weren’t mine for a change. I ignored them for a few minutes, until someone slammed the door open, and the light suddenly got switched on, making me close my eyes and wince.

‘Vika was awake, his eyes closed as peacefully as he could make them appear, still trying to feign sleep. It was too late for me to pretend, as I had already lifted my head reflexively, so all I could do was glare at the policeman, still squinting from the unforgiving light.

“Who are you?” the policeman tried to sound threatening, but it came out only curious. My guess was that this was his first house call. Or something like that.

“And what are you doing?” the policeman continued, his face hardening. I guess the fact that we could be nothing but twins was held against us. It was fine playing around to friends, but so far as I knew, incest was illegal, and unfortunately it would look like incest to anyone who didn’t know us. Hell, it might to people who did know us, but they had no say in it, and neither Devika nor I loved each other like that, so for us, it was perfectly acceptable. Quite honestly, the thought of kissing him in any other way but brotherly creeped me out. I didn’t need to ask to know he felt the same way. We loved each other too much to become lovers.

That’s the only way I can explain it.

“We’re sleeping,” I retorted hotly, trying to act like an innocent, indignant bystander, knowing full well I was looking very guilty at the moment.

“With each other?” the policeman asked incredulously, his face still hard, his eyes like granite.

“No, not usually,” ‘Vika spoke without opening his eyes. “It’s just my brother got injured and I didn’t want to leave him alone just yet.”

The officer frowned at that. “Injured? How did you get injured? Did someone at the party do it?”

I lifted my head a fraction more. “It didn’t happen here. It’s just that the scar keeps opening, and it still hurts.”

The policeman widened his eyes a little and took an impulsive step forward. “Did you know that there’s blood on your sheets?”

The instant he said it, I realised it was true, and shifted uncomfortably. The sheets were sticking to my upper back, and I could feel slow trickles of blood sliding down the side of my ribs.

‘Vika held me tighter, careful not to touch anything that would be too painful. “His scar just opened again, it’s nothing to worry about. It happens quite frequently.”

The officer eyed us doubtfully and stepped further into the room. “Exactly how big is your wound? That’s a lot of blood.”

I sighed in reply and lifted myself stiffly upon my elbows, my arm muscles quivering in protest and with pain the effort induced. ‘Vika watched unhappily, but peeled the sheets off carefully, avoiding as subtly as he could the pulling off of more than just blood soaked cotton.

I hissed in pain, proof that he hadn't succeeded perfectly, and he gave me a sympathetic look, that was lost as the policeman made a startled exclamation.

Before either of us could make up a plausible reason that he shouldn’t step closer, Kindle pushed through the door imperiously. I blinked at him in grateful surprise, but he ignored me as if I wasn’t in the room.

“Officer,” he ordered, “I demand to know the meaning of this intrusion.”

We all stared at him, ‘Vika and I barely managing to keep the obvious gape off our faces. He stared back impassively, a warning flickering in his eyes that I read suitably well. I looked away, and nudged ‘Vika gently. He turned his eyes away, confusion in his expression. I shook my head in answer to his silent question, and relaxed my arms, whose shaking had progressed to my shoulders.

The policeman made no secret of his gaping; he was almost stuttering with anger. “Excuse me?”

Kindle stared at him arrogantly. “I trusted that my two wards would be safe here, out of harms way. They had settled down for the night, what right have you to disturb them?”

The policeman, who probably had every right, stumbled over his words. “Well, it’s just that… I… You see…”

What can I say? Kindle had that effect, when he was in one of his haughty moods.

Kindle just stared at him, and I watched an unholy glint of lazy amusement enter the reddened eyes. Kindle was planning something, but I didn’t know what yet. I had a feeling we would find out.
Another officer came into the room, a woman this time, stalking towards the bed with a look in her eyes that said she was used to people quailing under that glare.

She seemed a bit thrown off that it didn’t affect me, but honestly, I wouldn’t have expected it to. I had a look very similar; indeed, most of the people I had ever worked with had their own version of that look, even Kellan. A look that told you you were in some deep trouble, no matter who you were. I returned her look with one in kind, and over her outraged spluttering, heard Kindle snigger.

That was enough to make her gain her control, and she pointed a bent finger at me threateningly. “How dare you!”

I switched my expression to innocent easily, and widened my eyes at her in deceptive confusion. I felt ‘Vika’s amusement. “What? What’d I do?”

It was great fun watching her, as she couldn’t find words to describe my crime in any way that would make it achieve something. “You-you… You were at the party, and were resisting arrest, so you are now under arrest for real.”

I blinked at her, tempted to say the words on my tongue, but knowing it was a stupid idea. ‘Vika’s sudden squeezing of my upper arm proved that.

The policewoman turned her furious gaze to ‘Vika. “And you! You’re his brother! You disgusting little catamite, little whore, what you’re doing is illegal!”

I wouldn’t have gotten angry if it were I that she was insulting, but when she called ‘Vika that; who, of the two of us, had the least sexual interests towards anyone, let alone me, it was going too far.

I struggled up, ignoring the stinging pain that raced between my shoulders and across my upper back. “Listen here you-“

‘Vika clamped an urgent hand over my mouth before I could say anything too endangering, but that didn’t stop my flow of words, and I guess the officer got the main gist of the idea.

Her face turned red, but I didn’t care. I was still too angry to look at her. I turned to the policeman. “Could you please get her out of here? She’s provoking me, and my wound, and it’s not going to stop bleeding until we’re left alone.”

She spluttered a bit at that, and the original policeman, whom Kindle had been talking to during our petty argument, stared around in some confusion.

Before he could say anything, either to disoblige me or to lose his job, Cerise walked in, as calm as you please.

I gaped at her, unable to hide the expression even with ‘Vika’s warning poke in my side. “Cerise? What are you doing here?”

She gave me a cool look that offered no hints, and turned to the policewoman, who was by now bristling. You can't have too many women who are used to getting their own way in the same room; so the situation obviously went straight to hell from there.

“Who are you?” Cerise asked coldly, as if she wasn’t the one who had just walked in on an attempted arrest.

The policewoman spluttered. I was beginning to think she did that a lot. “I am the officer in charge of this raid. Whom, might I ask, are you?”

I waited for Cerise to say something calm and pacifying. I obviously saddled her with the wrong role. In retrospect, it was stupid of me. Kellan would have been pacifying. Cerise just looked more disdainful and scoffed at the policewoman.

“Who I am is none of your business. All you need to know is that I’m countering your pathetic attempt to arrest these two, and giving you your marching orders. Now get out before I set my bodyguard on you.”

As Cerise didn’t have a bodyguard, to the best of my knowledge, this was somewhat a surprise. I can assure you, however, that the officer was more surprised.

“Who do you think you are?!” she shrieked, and then proceeded to try and rip Cerise’ control to shreds. Cerise just eyed her scornfully.

“Please, spare us the recital. You are out of your league here, and I intend to tell your superiors that. The whole lot of them, which means I am to be very busy in the future, seeing how low you are. Are you going to go, or should I call for backup?”

The nice, understanding policeman perceived some difficulties ahead and pulled his superior officer out of the room while she was still trying to get her anger under control. I had no doubts that he would pay for his helpfulness later, but that wasn’t my problem.

Cerise was my problem. And what a problem she shaped out to be. She swung around to glare at us. “And just what do you think you were doing?”

I blinked at her. “You gave us permission to go.”

She waved that away. “That’s of no consequence. You should have had more sense than to go somewhere where the police would arrive.” Strangely enough, her eyes were troubled now.

Kindle was being too quiet. He avoided my eyes when I tried to catch his.

“What’s wrong with you two?” I asked them, struggling to sit up. ‘Vika seemed determined not to let me, but I was getting a crick in my neck, and I couldn’t hold the position much longer.

Kindle eyed Cerise wearily. I knew he was not the slightest bit weary of her, so it must have been someone else. “Do you want to tell him or shall I, Princess?”

Cerise glanced at him, a speaking look that sent a chill shuddering through my spine. It had nothing to do with the room temperature.

Cerise sighed, and faced me again. ‘Vika was tense.

“Daddy,” she started, and hesitated. “Daddy wants to see you.”

I stared at her, uncomprehending. “But he can't. He’s the King, he can't leave his country.”

“No,” Cerise agreed, “he can't.”

I blinked at her, then looked at Kindle. This time he met my gaze, and he gave a curt nod. I shivered. “But I can't go there! I’m mortal now, it’ll kill me!”

Cerise suddenly gained a slightly malicious smirk. “Really Cal, you of all people should know that that wouldn’t stop him. Besides,” her smirk got downright cruel as she continued, “you should also know that mortals don’t die unless… One of us does something to them.”

Kindle was looking uncomfortable. Kindle never looked uncomfortable. I turned to him. “Truthfully Kindle? He really wants to see me?”

“I am not privy to the plans of the Royal Family, Cal. However, I do believe Cerise is telling the truth. That’s why Zephyr was here.”

I could only stare at him, speechless. ‘Vika tugged my hair.

“What’s going on, ‘Rica? What are they talking about?”

And it struck me that ‘Vika was in worse danger than I had thought. Cerise’ expression had gotten cold the instant he had reminded her he was in the room. The King didn’t like me too much anymore. The Princess didn’t like ‘Vika. For them, that would be all the more reason to kill ‘Vika. I pulled away from him, and he subsided, visibly hurt.

“When?” I asked. Even to me, my voice sounded strange. It was strangled with fear and only a sudden flash of understanding from ‘Vika made me feel better.

I was scared and Cerise wasn’t helping. She looked scared as well. “Zephyr will be here in a half hour or so, when his assignment is finished.”

I nodded wordlessly. “All right. Until then, is there anything I can do?”

Kindle answered me this time. “No, not about that. You should know that. You should get rid of your brother though.”

I glanced at ‘Vika. He wasn’t looking particularly helpful or submissive, and I sighed. “Could you leave us alone for a while?”

It was a hint of how unsettled they were when they both left without further comment. The air even stayed the same temperature.

“’Vika,” I turned to him. “You can't come with me. It’s just not possible.”

“Why not?” he responded calmly.

I narrowed my eyes at him. Damn him for not making it easier. “Because if you come you’ll die and then what would I do? I’m lost without you, you should know that.”

“And if you die?” he countered hotly. “What then? I’m equally lost without you, maybe even more. If I come, and they kill you, at least I could get them to kill me too! If you died…” his voice cracked and he buried his face in his hands. I sat there staring blankly at him, having not the slightest clue of what I should do.

“If you die,” he continued after a minute, and he looked up, “I shouldn’t have to live. You couldn’t make me anyway. What good is living if you lose half of yourself? Nobody could replace you. If I die? What about you? What assurances do you have that you won't?”

I gave a small smile then and let crimson glaze my eyes over. “’Vika,” I said softly, “they won't kill me. They might hurt me, and I might wish I was dead by the time I come back, but they won't kill me. I used to be one of their best warriors. Why would they want to kill me if they can convince me to work for them again? Even if the king were mad, he wouldn’t allow it. Only Kindle’s as good as I am, and he’s stuck in court during regular fighting. He’s only allowed out in the course of extreme wars. Trust me. They won't kill me.”

He looked at me closely then, searching my eyes. “Why don’t I know you anymore?” he asked quietly. “Who are you, Arical? How can you speak so easily about wars? And if,” he added before I could start crying at the hurt in his voice. “If you’re so certain they won't kill you, why can I feel your fear? What are you so scared of?”

I laughed sheepishly. “They don’t like me much there anymore I’m afraid. I… did something, something I shouldn’t have done. About half the people who used to be my friends would gladly see me dead now.”

“And the other half?”

I smiled suddenly. “They’re still my friends. Kellan’s one. So is Zephyr, though at times he’s extremely distant. Kindle’s another.” I paused, seeing the distasteful expression on his face. “Why don’t you like Kindle so much?”

He shrugged and looked away. “I don’t know. He just… it’s that…”

I smirked, suddenly playful. “You like him, don’t you? And you don’t want to, is that it?”

‘Vika glared at me. “He kissed you. I felt it, back then, before the police arrived.”

I flushed and smirked to hide it. “I know you did. I felt your disapproval as well. That’s what stopped me.” He blinked at me, surprised, as I continued. “He’s very good at what he does… If you could only feel the way he kisses ––!”

“Thank you, I’d rather not,” ‘Vika mumbled.

I grinned at him. “Why? Scared you might enjoy it? You would, you know. I did. I always have.”

‘Vika held up a hand in protest. “Enough, please. I don’t want to hear this.”

I smirked and leant closer, baiting him. “But don’t you want any practise for Alexes?”

I should have stopped then. ‘Vika was upset before the conversation had started, and bringing up Alexes was clearly not the best thing in the world to do. But I was scared, and he was scared and if I could get one of us angry, then that would be less fear for both of us to handle. I didn’t want to, honestly I didn’t, but it was already too late to stop.

He stared at me, hand falling limply to the bloodstained sheets. “What do you mean?” His voice was unsteady.

“Well, you know,” I answered as blithely as I could. “Kindle’s a great lover. He could teach you to be one as well. Alexes has already slept with Nicolai, and probably lots more before that. More than likely is the fact that he’s used to a good lover, and since you have no experience-“

“I suppose you do have it,” ‘Vika interrupted. His whole body was trembling now, not just his voice.

“Have what? Experience? I guess so. But it’s a given that Alexes would prefer an experienced lover, since there’s nothing more uncomfortable than a virgin.”

It was wrong of me. So terribly wrong of me to say it, but I had, and it was out and ‘Vika was staring at me, pain and anger warring in his eyes. I felt it. The anger was felt throughout him, but the pain was deeper than even that. It had been a stupid thing to say.

He slapped me. Backhanded me straight across the face. When I turned my head back to him, there were tears brimming in his eyes, which only held pain now. “How dare you,” he choked out. “How could you say that to me? I knew you had changed but I never thought you’d be purposely cruel, especially not to me!” His face crumpled into despair and all I could do was watch numbly.

“You don’t want me to go with you? Fine. You want me to sleep with Kindle? Fine. You want to hurt me? Fine. You want me to become you? Fine. You go ahead and want them. I don’t know why you would, but you go ahead. Leave. Do whatever. I don’t care.”

He buried his face in his hands and started crying. I was helpless in the face of it, utterly hopeless. I tentatively reached out a hand, but he shook it off and lifted his face again. It was angry once more, and determined.

He got off the bed stubbornly, just in time to bump into Kindle on his way out. Kindle blinked at the tear tracks and the expression, and then his eyes widened in shock.

‘Vika was kissing him. It was close mouthed and completely chaste but for the air of fury in the movement. After a second ‘Vika pushed Kindle violently away and stalked out the door

I struggled to my feet, ignoring Kindle, who looked absolutely shell-shocked.

“What was that about?” he asked me. I pushed past him and stumbled off to where I assumed ‘Vika was. I had to apologise. I couldn’t leave him like that, especially not if I was leaving in a few more minutes.

He was crying when I found him, heartbroken sobs that shook his entire body as he sat huddled on the floor between the toilet and the wall, his arms around his legs. I crouched in front of him and watched him for a second.

“Go ’way.” He gasped, and turned further into the wall.

I ignored the order. “’Vika, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It was stupid of me. Please, come out.”

“Go ‘way,” he insisted, still sobbing.

I sighed, wrapped my fingers around one of his arms and jerked, hard. He fell forward with a startled cry, landing half sprawled against me, and I wrapped my arms around him before he could scramble away again.

He fought me. He fought me as much as he was able, but he was already almost exhausted from crying, and it was relatively easy to avoid the hits he tried to make. Eventually he settled for pushing himself away from me as hard as he could, and when that didn’t work, he just collapsed against me, still crying.

All I could do was continue to hug him, murmuring words that I’m not sure he even heard. After a while, when he had stopped crying quite so hard and I was rocking us gently, he lifted his face to me.

“Why? Why did you say those things?”

I shook my head wordlessly. The explanations weren't clear in my own mind, I wasn’t sure I could make him understand. “I’m sorry.”

He dropped his head onto my shoulder again. “It’s all right.”

I doubted it was, but he continued before I could press the point.

“Do you really think… that… think that… he… Alexes could?”

I shook my head, knowing he’d feel it. “Of course I don’t. If you don’t mind hearing about my sex life, I could tell you that inexperience is one of the best things there is.”

He looked up at me at that; his eyes almost on level with my own. He was scarlet, and judging by the sudden heat in my own face, I was too.

“Do you mean that?” he asked shyly. I nodded. He tilted his head thoughtfully. “How so?”

My blush darkened. “Kindle says the experience is more rewarding if your partner doesn’t honestly know what he’s doing. He says it shows how much they really feel.”

‘Vika gave me a look. “Don’t you know for yourself?”

I shook my head wordlessly and ‘Vika gave a small smile. “I can see the truth in that I suppose. If they really like you then the enthusiasm makes up for the experience doesn’t it? Whereas if they don’t…”

I grinned at him. “So how was it?”

He blinked at me. “Huh?”

“Your first kiss. What was it like?”

Crimson stained his cheeks. “I… That wasn’t… It wasn’t…”

It was my turn to blink at him. Then I grinned. “It wasn’t? So who was?”

He looked down and mumbled something. I smirked, and then frowned suddenly. “Who was it?”

Sensing the change in my mood, he looked up cautiously. “Alexes.”

I scowled. “When?”

He looked away. “That day we went to the fireworks show.”

I narrowed my eyes, glaring at nothing. ‘Vika shook my shoulder slightly. “What?” he asked. “What’s wrong?”

I pasted a smile on my face and stood up, letting him slide to the floor to stare up at me. “Wrong? Nothing’s wrong. Why would anything be wrong? I’d better get going, Zephyr might arrive soon and we can't be late for the King, he’d kill us.” I gave a nervous laugh. “Well, not kill us as such, but you get the idea. He certainly won't be very happy and I can't say I’d blame him –“

“’Rica,” ‘Vika interrupted, “shut up.” He stood up smoothly and hugged me. I remained tense in his arms until he squeezed me as tight as he could, whereupon I was forced to relax. “I know you’re upset. I know, and it’s okay. I’m upset with you for falling in love with Nicolai and Kindle. It’s okay.” He kissed my cheek and I relaxed completely, hugging him back tentatively.

“I’m not jealous,” I told him quietly. “I know I’m not. At least, I think I do. But still…”

“I’m your brother. It’s okay, I know. It’s fine. I understand. I go through the whole thing with you as well.”

I smirked half-heartedly. “I just bet you do.”

He stepped back and poked my chest. “Don’t you dare turn into a slut on me, and I won't turn into one on you. Other than that,” he glanced at me, uncertain and shy. “Other than that… it’s all right, isn't it? With you I mean.”

I grinned at him and grabbed his wrist, pulling him out of the bathroom. “It’s fine. I hope you’re happy, honestly.”

He gave another shy smile, but didn’t say any more as Kindle was approaching.

He gave us a curious look. “You all right now? Zephyr’s here, out front. We need to leave.”

I nodded. “Thanks. We’ll be right there.”

Kindle nodded and turned, leading us out as we followed more slowly behind.

“’Vika, can you go back to Keri? I’ll be there as soon as I can, but…”

He sighed. “I know. All right. But I’m not happy about this. You’d better come back soon. Keri’s going to hurt me when I tell her I don’t know where you are.”

“Didn’t think of that,” I paused, “but it should be okay. If Nicolai’s there… Tell him… tell him…” I trailed off. I didn’t know what to tell him.

‘Vika nodded understandingly. “I’ll tell him something. Go on. They’re waiting for you, and I need to call a cab.”

I sneered at him. “Well… bye then.”

“Bye,” he answered quietly.

I turned and walked out.

Zephyr has penetrating eyes, so pale they’re only a few shades darker than the whites of his eyes. When he called up hurricanes, they were black. His moods showed in the shades of his eyes, and he was not happy at the moment.

Another clear fact of this was, there was a slight breeze as I walked closer, and it was picking up in speed. Combined with Cerise’s ice and Kindle’s fire, we could have had a happy little freak weather storm.

As it was, we didn’t. You don’t get to be top warriors in the kingdom without being able to control your abilities enough so your emotions didn’t screw with them.

“All set?” Zephyr asked me shortly. I didn’t take it personally. That was just the way he was.

I nodded, and tried to keep my emotions under wraps so that ‘Vika didn’t have more to worry about.

Then we nodded and began the process.

It’s a complicated process, one that mortals can't do at all without ‘sponsors’ or people to bring them over. Basically, you let your spirit drift, and then when you’re about to transfer over, you grab your body and jerk it over before it gets left behind. If it gets left behind, you can't return to it, no matter whether you’re immortal or not. Some have failed, but a select few of those didn’t have the right sponsors, and the others didn’t have any at all. Fools.

Luckily, both Kindle and Zephyr were good at it. They were all the sponsor I would need. I don’t include Cerise because she didn’t have enough out-world experience to cover both herself and someone else. Kindle did, because of his status as Royal Consort, it was his duty to find new mortals to please the King. Zephyr was fantastic because he was a top warrior, ranking above General, and did it on an almost regular basis.

I won't go into detail about the transfer over, but it was harder than I remembered it to be. I had a pounding headache by the time we arrived in my world, and it had nothing to do with the travel.

My world is much like Earth would be – except there’s no electricity yet. Or rather, none that we’ve been able to harness. Everything we have is powered by windmills, watermills, or good old natural labour. Even in our court, a lightening elementalist is rare, and the last one I knew of had died an early death because the power she had fried her to ashes. She hadn’t had anyone to teach her about controlling and satiating the power, and it consumed her alive. Made me glad I had Kindle as a rival for more than a few reasons.

To be a rival you have to be equal, or at least very close in power. I’ve already told you I was strong. If it hadn’t been for Kindle, and the power he had that equalled mine, I would have spontaneously combusted and burnt to death in a matter of seconds.

That said, Zephyr had transported us a little way away from the palace, maybe a few days walk. Cerise, seeing as she was new to this, wasn’t there.

“Where’s Cerise?” I asked Kindle.

He smirked. “Poor Princess only knows how to travel home. She’s at the Palace already I bet.”

Zephyr cracked a small smile. He didn’t like Cerise a lot either. “That’s true enough.”

I glanced around, taking in the same dusty roads, the same widespread wheat and cornfields. “Hasn’t changed much, has it.”

Kindle smirked at me and threw an arm around my shoulders, rubbing his hand up and down my upper arm. Zephyr politely ignored us, but I know he rolled his eyes. “You’ve just been away too long. It’s home, Cal!”

And, surprisingly enough, he was right. Something inside me recognised the dusty roads, the sweltering heat of the midday suns, the trees that looked like upside down cups; trees that I knew from experience made the sweetest smelling firewood and the best shelter on stormy days when the rain drifted off the branches, deflected away from you by the peculiar shape. Fields such a bright yellow that they rivalled earth’s sun, weeds and scarce plants growing by the roadside never seen in any other country but ours. It felt good, so good, and so perfectly right. Utterly normal.

It wasn’t harvesting time yet, but there were still workers in the field, who either hadn’t seen us, or were too busy to give more than the obligatory greeting for the King’s Men. A smaller bylaw, but definitely one that had helped a lot. We, being members of that special rank in the Elementalists, had a right to anything we wanted from the people. They held us in awe and sometimes in fear, but we protected them more than we killed them, so they figured we had a good reason for killing our own nation. We didn’t, but who ever did. All it took to be a good reason was to have the King order it.

The two suns were burning brightly in the sky, and Kindle’s arm around my shoulders felt desirable in it’s comforting weight. He was right. It was home, quite simply, and it felt good to be back.

Until I remembered why I had been sent away in the first place, and I shook Kindle’s arm off, ignoring his bewildered look, and turning to Zephyr. “Is there a reason you brought us back so far from the Palace?”

He gave a one-shouldered shrug. “No.”

I eyed him, and weighed the chances of whether he would answer me more specifically if I asked him why. I let the thought fade though, not really upset, just resigned. Zephyr wouldn’t let anything slip he hadn’t been ordered to tell. Only someone of higher rank than I could order him, and he’d get all uptight and tense with me if I plagued him too much. I shrugged and turned towards the direction of the Palace, amazed but not astounded that I already knew where we were.

It really was home.

If I hadn’t missed ‘Vika so much, then I would have been a lot happier to be back, regardless of what the King wanted with me. I managed, however, to push that to the back of my mind, settling for letting Kindle back into my foremost thoughts. He managed very nicely there, taunting and teasing while his real self tried to do the same to me.

I ignored him. He was irritated and annoyed by the time we had managed to walk to the village inn, all in all about four miles down the lane, walked in silence. He had somehow communicated to Zephyr to go in without us, and dragged me off to the stables, which were strangely unoccupied for the time being. I was surprised enough by his direct tactics to let him, and he had me shoved up against a stall wall in no time at all.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” he hissed at me. “And don’t you dare try to tell me that it’s because you’re scared of the King.”

“I’m not,” I managed to protest, but he rode over the claim easily.

“And don’t tell me it’s about what you did back then, before you…” he hesitated, probably seeing something flicker through my eyes. Whatever he saw made him back away a little, letting me stand easily on my own two feet somewhat away from the wall. “Is that it? Your crime? I’d hate to tell you this, but you deserved it and-“

“Shut up,” I cut him off, glaring at him. “What business is it of yours if I’m a little preoccupied? I haven’t been here for years, Kindle!”

He looked blatantly surprised at that. “Yes you have. It hasn’t been a year since you fell.”

I waved a hand impatiently. “It feels much longer than that, you should know that!”

Kindle scowled, suddenly just as angry. “Why are you trying to blame me? It’s not my problem that you-“

“Shut UP Kindle!” I responded hotly. The world was going strangely dark.

“Why?” He retorted, just as angry. “Why should I? Can't you bear to hear about it? Does it hurt you to listen to the tale again and again as I had to, as I was forced to? You deserve it, I think. If you hadn’t done it, then we could all keep on being happy, and nothing would have been wrong except the customary wars.”

“What part of you was HAPPY with the life you led, Kindle?” I shouted, and pushed him roughly, suddenly furious. The dark haze over everything tinted scarlet. “A slave to the King for whatever he wanted you? Forced to take orders, to be subservient your entire life? Given the pretty name for a not so pretty role and confined to the Palace forever? Unless, of course there’s an important war going on, and you’re allowed – allowed, but not voluntarily – to take your place in the back lines, unable to kill yourself because of what our rules say happens to suicidal deaths? Unable to ease the pain inside – any pain at all – with even a threat of danger for yourself? Cooped up by a stingy and crazy King because he refuses to let you help out unless we’re fighting his blood feuds for him? How the hell does that make you happy, Kindle? How the hell could you want to return to a life, one that gave you no free choices, ones where all the choices you were given hurt somebody in someway? Were you happy there? Would you willingly return? Would you desperately try to find a way into the front lines, cursing a gift that made you too important to lose, to risk, knowing no one would ever care for more than the fires you could call up?”

Kindle had gone an interesting shade of colours, rather like a slideshow. First pale, almost transparently white, then getting more and more red. And firecallers don’t go purple when the get angry or embarrassed; they go RED. Red enough so you can see flames licking their cheeks, red enough so you can see the bloodlust in their eyes, red enough so you can see the air shimmering off of them because of the almost intolerable rise in their body temperature.

Kindle went Red, screamed wordlessly, and threw himself at me, trying frantically to kill me, I know that now. I believed it then as well, but somewhere inside of me I don’t think I actually thought he would do it. My anger, already unstable, my lack of practise and my fear ensured that the stable around us suddenly burst into flames.

We didn’t notice at first, one still trying to kill me, and I was still trying to get him to back down. We both noticed at the same time I think, but by then the fires had spread up inside of me like an uncontrollable firestorm, and I couldn’t stop it even if I tried. I had only ever gone to this extent a few times, and all of them had been with Kellan somewhere nearby, ready to douse the flames within seconds.

Kindle and I wouldn’t get hurt, we could control it enough to guarantee that it didn’t burn anywhere near us. Indeed, it wasn’t. It was roaring up in strong firewalls around us, frenzied in its own way to eat us alive, not because it needed fuel, because these fires usually didn’t; but because it could. Because it wanted to.

Yes, I speak of it as a live person. Yes, that’s the way all firecallers do. We might be the only elementalists to do so, as fire is the only thing seeming to have a life of its own. We can call it and we can usually control it, but we can never tame it, never own it.

“Stop it,” Kindle murmured in my ear, trying, I think, to calm us both down. He rolled on top of me, securing me down with his weight in case I tried to do something stupid, like run into the fire. We’ve had that happen before; fires intoxicate us more than anyone else, and they beckon, ever so sweetly for us to come into them, be one. Nearly every firecaller wanted to be burnt to death, if they had a choice. “There are innocent people here and His Majesty will be pissed to find we sacrificed people with out his order.”

I choked, struggling to do so, but it was so much, too much, and I couldn’t do it. “I can't” I gasped out, my voice strangled, my eyes red.

“Relax,” breathed Kindle into my ear, his voice suddenly having a purring quality. “Relax with me, Cal. Don’t ask, don’t think, don’t try to control it. You had trouble even before, and without practise there’s no way in hell you can. Relax with me. Zephyr’s right out there, he’s gotten everybody to safety by now, nobody’s hurt. The fire is just burning itself right now. Shhh, just relax.”

I gasped again, striving to get air into my lungs, not at all bothered by the thick black smoke until it caused me to cough slightly. I had even lost the ability to breathe in smoke without injury or annoyance.

Kindle’s fingers stroked through my by now dirty hair, murmuring words that I can't remember to this day, that he refuses to repeat. I’ve asked him a few times, but he never does. I’ve asked him because I think I remember hearing an “I love you” in there somewhere. He’s not willing to reveal if that was what he said, but I didn’t hear correctly at the time, and it might have been my imagination. Or a second effect of the smoke.

He stroked my hair as I attempted to suffocate the flames, stroked my hair as I got something vaguely resembling control, and kept stroking as the fires fell slowly, reluctantly back into nothing, leaving nothing behind but the charred remains of the stable and the blackened burnt inn.

Kindle’s muscles all went limp and he collapsed on top of me, making me realise how tense he must have held himself, how much effort he put into helping me keep the fires at bay. A few moments later, before anyone even thought about tentatively approaching the sooty and smudged people lying in a heap in the rubble, he buried his face in my shoulder, his own shoulders shaking.

I almost thought he was laughing, but that was a stupid idea, quickly dismissed as his whimpers confirmed that he was in fact crying. I knew it wasn’t the fire. It must have been what caused the fire, indirectly. I started rubbing his back comfortingly, not knowing what else to do. If it had been ‘Vika, I would have cuddled him, hugged him as tightly as I could, that sort of stuff, but it was Kindle, and Kindle had rarely, if ever, cried in front of me.

He lifted his head when footsteps eventually sounded across the blackened ground, giving me a mocking smile aimed towards both of us, or maybe, just himself. His eyes were the natural red that always comes with crying, and his eyelashes were wet and clumped together.

When I looked away and directly up, because I was still on my back, Zephyr was frowning down at us.

“What happened?”

“I lost my temper,” Kindle said before I could say anything. He rolled off of me and crawled to his feet. “It wasn’t his fault. He was just trying to protect himself.”

“Uh huh.” Zephyr gave me a sceptical look. I managed to look guilty enough to convince him I had started enough, but also guilty enough so he wouldn’t call me on it. If he had, I would have told him the truth. Which is why I didn’t want him to.

“I’ll tell the King it was an accident, that I was tired from the trip and the fires were unmanageable.”

Zephyr lifted an eyebrow in his direction. “Are you sure he’ll believe that?”

Kindle shrugged, then gave me another wry smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes this time. “He’ll believe it. He doesn’t know much about elements.”

Zephyr nodded, taking it at face value and went off to confer with the devastated innkeeper. I hoped the King would reimburse him. I hadn’t meant to burn down his livelihood.

I walked tentatively towards Kindle, he was pretending to examine something that resembled a lump of coal. Offhandedly, I wondered what it was.  He didn’t look up when I drew nearer to him.

“I’m sorry,” I said quietly, urgently wanting to make amends. “I didn’t mean to say all that stuff. It’s not true.”

He looked up slowly, his smile completely out of sight, his face uncharacteristically solemn. “Don’t worry. It’s only the truth. It shouldn’t hurt that much to hear… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have tried to kill you.”

I shrugged and gave a small smile. “It’s all right. You wouldn’t have killed me.”

He looked at me closely, searching me face, his own expression unreadable, not saying anything.

I grew uneasy. “Would you have?” my voice sounded small, unsure, and I suddenly felt a little flicker of something that was part terribly fear and utter horror.

He watched me a second longer, just enough to have that feeling develop into a ball of lead in my stomach, then smiled, his eyes tender and playful all at once. “Of course not. I’d never do a thing like that to you.”

I suddenly wanted to point out that he almost had, not once, but twice, but didn’t. I had offered peace, he had taken it and offered it back cautiously. I wanted to take it. I didn’t want to think about anything else.

I held out my hand silently, he smiled again and took it, and we walked back to the main knot of people, his thumb idly rubbing circles on mine, both of us ignoring the gawking looks of fear we received as we advanced on them.

Zephyr had sorted out a lot though, and while they were still obviously terrified of us, they were willing to accept our apologies, and although they seemed a bit reluctant, they offered us a meal and some drink to help us on our way. They made it comically obvious that they didn’t want us to stay any longer, so once Zephyr had obtained the food and drink, we continued on our way, ready to sit in the first shady place we found.

Kindle was still holding my hand, and I was still letting him.