Allen was walking home from the grocery store.  It was like any other Monday in his life.  Ah yes.  A bachelor’s life in Trenton, New Jersey.

            Allen lived alone in an apartment, on the top floor.  He worked at the steel mill.  Every Monday, he got the exact same items: milk, bread, a dozen eggs, peanut butter, oranges, a pound of turkey, cheese, and every first Monday of the month, mayonnaise.

            So Allen was a little out of the ordinary, but not incredibly, noticeably so.

            Anyway, when we first met him, he was walking home.  He had two paper grocery bags, and he was wearing his overcoat, jeans, and because it was wet, boots.

            Allen was a little distracted, because he had sunk his teeth into a mental conundrum, and like a persistent mongrel, wouldn’t let go until he had shaken all the life out of it.  He was wondering just what had gotten into the store employees.  In the first place, things seemed to be getting bigger.  But the reason for this, although he didn’t know it, was that he had started to go to Costco, instead of Safeway.

            Secondly, the bag boy.  He just kept staring at him as if he had a duck on his head!  Not to mention pulling the bag out of the bottom shelf instead of the ten others in front of him.  All of the sudden, the grocery bag wriggled, pulling him out of his reverie.  Allen stared in disbelief as his groceries fell all over the sidewalk.  He rubbed the stubble on his chin, and then shrugged.

            He bent to pick the fallen bags and supplies when the bag gobbled him up!  It plain ate him!!

            A bum on the side of the alley, where this extraordinary event just took place, cackled and fell over, unconscious.