Have you ever had a crush on someone who was so out of your reach? I have.
His name is Quentin or Que, as he likes to be called. With smoldering
chocolate eyes and a smile that could make any girl melt, it was hard not
to notice him. Girls did and yet, he never noticed any of them, or me for
that fact. Then again there was nothing to notice. I was short, around five
four. Being surrounding by girls roughly four or five inches taller than
me, it was easy to get lost in the crowd. There was nothing redeeming about
my appearance either. I had mousy brown hair and even duller gray eyes. I
wasn't a geek or a beauty queen; I was average, which in high school was
even worse. I was nobody.
Then there was Quentin. He wasn't exactly popular, but then again he wasn't
unpopular. Everybody knew his name. He was always invited to the best
parties and had all the girls chasing after him, but despite this, he
remained humble. Though if anyone should be boasting, it's him. You see he
was gifted with this amazing voice. Whenever he sang, no one talked. An
awed silence would overcome the room and all eyes were on him. On stage he
was always the center of attention, but at school he did everything in his
power to escape it.
I guess that's what I liked about him. He was different. I knew he wasn't
shy. If he were, he wouldn't be able to do what he does. Neither was he
gay, although Shia seems to think so. It was her theory for why he, unlike
all the other guys, didn't jump every girl that came his way. Me, on the
other hand, am a true romantic. I believe he's just looking for something
more. Maybe even the same thing I'm looking for.
The only difference between us was that he had his whole life to find it.
Counting the months, I didn't even need both my hands. I had only four. One
of which I was going to spend in a coma. So technically I only had three.
What's wrong with me? Well, the doctor told me what it was, but I couldn't
remember the medical term for it. Basically I had an inoperable brain
tumor, which was going to slowly cut off my bodily functions. Sounds nasty
right? Well I'm not looking forward to it either.
I'd use to watch movies like 'A Walk to Remember' and think how possible it
was. It was just never a possibility for me. Surreal as it sounded, I had
only three months to live and live my life was exactly what I was planning
to do. Fifteen years I spent in the shadows, too afraid to take any risks.
A life lived in fear is a life half lived. It was only when faced with my
own mortality that I realized this.
So, it was my resolution this year to go for what I wanted. No more waiting
for things to come to me. I was willing to take a few chances in my life. I
had nothing to lose, right?
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