A/N: I am very sorry for this. This is a series of self-pitying, depressive amateurish poems inspired by a time when I thought I had a problem. Most of them are self-absorbed and selfish, but I decided that they were doing nothing sitting in my comp, so they might as well be here for the world to see. Please be easy with the criticism, I’m baring my egocentric soul to you after all.

Self indulgent pessimism

Lock me in my straitjacket and throw away the key…

Cracked enthusiasm takes the place of harmony

All essential thrumming stops, your life-blood hesitates

The world is humming, beating to the pulsing noise you make

Repetition pointlessly disables every thought

This mundane co-existence with the minds that we once fought

I’ll blunt your razor with my arm

The ribbons scarlet gay

I’ll fight yourself from flesh to skin

Till colours dull and blur in grey

And flavour takes the place of rain

As storm clouds gather in

A worthwhile screaming shakes above

The skin-lined trees are fleshed in pale

The rippled waters cutting deep

Are tempered by your fingernail

A breakable protection can’t protect your soul at all,

It only pushes pieces deep inside you when you fall

I laugh, feeling hysterical and screaming down inside,

But still it seems to all make sense, deep inside my mind

A mere hallucination

I feel wound up

Where’s my key?

This feeble illustration

Where a person used to be

 

The end of the world as we thought we knew it

Cold ignoble harpies wail and rock in sync

As elephants crawl through bloody fields and drown themselves in ink

With baseness, consternation and the flimsiness of lies

To terrible imperative to break your lover’s ties

To a chorus filled with hummingbirds

The evening sun lays down and dies

Why all the Prejudice?

Threatened by the anti-colour

Conforming mindless morons

The threat of scary music

By the people dressed in carbon

A Cold day

The muddy sky

Bleak and drear

Eagles move as

Planes appear

Hypochondriac Depressive

I haven’t got a problem, there’s no problem at all

I just don’t want my stumbling to cause you to fall

I often like to wonder what it’s like to be dead

But it doesn’t really matter it’s just all in my head

The workings of the world are quite a puzzle to me

All around me, people dying, yet I can’t seem to see

A way out of this tar pit I am floundering in

When I seem to climb out I just slip in again

This is not the first time that I’ve felt depressed

I feel I’m slipping, insecure and my head’s a mess

I don’t have a single reason to be feeling this way,

A hypochondriac depressive, you should just walk away

Parental Communication (or why don’t you to talk to us)

Your thinking is dogmatic, yet you teach me how to think,

I can’t undrain my feelings for the fear that you will think,

That the job you did was terrible, that I’m screwed and it’s your fault,

Coz you don’t think that I know a lot, but I know that it is not.

Inside myself I lie passed out

I wander round invisible

Screaming coz I’m not at peace

None of you can see me

Coz to you I don’t exist