Looking back

I see how we were different.

You were trying to be perfect--

I was trying not lose my mind.

While I was gonna have some fun

You were gonna save the world

And god knows I envied your compassion--

You reminded me of all the times I couldn't care.

God knows, I envied your "A" pluses--

You reminded me

Of when I'd

Squeak by with a "C"

And when I would watch you

Running with your horses.

Or reading a poem that I had writ…

Just reminded me

Of all the things

You were to me

That I could never

Ever

Seem to be to you.

And I know you thought that you could help me.

And God knows I wanted to save you.

We were right, we were wrong

We were stubborn and headstrong

And then the roles reversed

Journey into a parallel universe

Hoping for the best

Realizing the worst.

Now I am trying to be perfect.

You are trying to stay sane.

And God knows, I envy your illusion--

You're reminding me

Of everything I used to be.

And you know that I am jealous of your smirk--

It reminds me of how

It felt to be sure.

And God knows, I envy your stupidity--

You're reminding me

Of every risk I used to take

God knows I'm jealous of all your recklessness

Just reminding me

Of everything I used to be.

But I don't know how it got to be

That I was trying to be you

And you were trying to be me.

God knows I tried--

God knows I lied--

God knows I even

Broke down and cried.

But I can't say

Even God knows just what happened

Because I can't just put

The blame

On destiny or fate.

God knows I could say that I did love you

And God knows that would be so, so true

And God knows, I'm not doing too well

To have brushed with Heaven

Just to burn in Hell

Looking back--

I see how we were different--

You were trying to be perfect.

And I was trying not lose my mind.