I wanted to do something for September 11th, and this was all I could think of.  I wanted to share with people my feelings and probably a lot of others.  I hope that by reading this you’re able to understand something more about it and that some may open your eyes to what really is important in our lives.

Disclaimer:  I don’t own the song “Where were you when the world stopped turning”

You may think that this is just another reliving of the terrible tragedy that took place, but I feel that I am one of the few people in this area of my age who is deeply and truly still hurt about this.  First off, I’m not the type to be affected that easily, but this is something that really got to me.  Many still ask themselves “Why did it happen?”  Well, I have an answer, and it’s only one phrase.

America got too cocky.

You can agree or disagree, but when people become cocky, it leads to a downfall.  America had its downfall on September 11th, a day that still stays fresh in our minds and will remain there for the rest of our lives.

(Where were you when the world stopped turning, on that September day?

Out in the yard with your wife and children

Or working on some stage in LA

Did you stand there in shock at the site of that black smoke

Rising against that blue sky

Did you shout out in anger

And fear for your neighbor

Or did you just sit down and cry)

This isn’t something that just passes.  It doesn’t even fell like a year has gone by.  That day is still there in my mind and even the days after.  I remember that I was sick that day and had to stay home from school.  Like most people though, I was both shocked and confused when I first saw what was happening.  I was only 14 years old and already experiencing something that would change our history.  My mom waked me up that day and when I first saw it, I was confused.  First off, I am not very political and don’t usually read the paper or watch the news, so I guess I’m a little naïve, but who isn’t?  I didn’t know what the Trade centers were, but I was familiar with the term “Twin Towers”.  I didn’t know much about them accept that they were the highest structures in America and that they were in New York, but otherwise, I didn’t know much.  I remember wanting to know what was happening and I wasn’t getting a strait answer, which confused me.  I sat with my Grandpa for about 2 hours, just watching the news.  My uncle was the one who called us and told us to turn on the news.  My mom got me up shortly after.  I watched the news, but then the day went on as normally and I played video games.  To be completely honest, I was what I hated the most.  I didn’t really care much.  I wasn’t able to comprehend why it was such a big deal.  I was also wishing I had gone to school.  All they did was watch the news, but I wish I could have been there.  Maybe I would have understood then, but I was still confused.

(Did you weep for the children, who lost their dear loved ones

Pray for the ones who don’t know

Did you rejoice for the people, who walked from the ruble

And sob for the ones left below

Did you burst out in pride for the red white and blue

The heroes that died, just doing what they do

Did you look out to heaven for some kind of answer

And look at yourself and what really matters)

That night, I thought about it.  I actually thought a lot about it and thought about what had happened.  I wish now, that I had been in New York when it had happened.  I wanted to experience that horror so that I could understand it, but that night, for the first time in years, I cried upon realizing just how sad it truly was.  I cried for the people who died and for those not knowing that their loved ones were now dead.  I also prayed for the terrorists.  I prayed that they would find an end to their anger towards us, that they would feel the guilt and stop hurting people.  For once in my life, I was crying for something that mattered instead of petty and selfish reasons.  You know how I felt?  Helpless.  I felt completely and totally helpless.  I couldn’t do anything for those people, and I wished I could.  I was just some 14 year old little girl, thousands of miles away, who was scared and helpless and who wanted to stop the suffering in the world, but then again, what child doesn’t want world peace?

(I’m just a singer of simple songs,

I’m not a, real political man

I watch CNN but I’m not sure I could tell you

The difference in a rock and Iran

But I know Jesus and I’ve talked to God

And I remember this from when I was young

Faith, hope, and love are some good things he gave us

And the greatest is love)

That Wednesday was hard when I went back to school.  Everyone was talking about it.  In English, my teacher talked about it, since he used to live in New York.  He was deeply upset and wanted us to share our feelings about it as well.  I wish I would have said something, but I was too afraid.  I don’t usually speak up the way am I doing now, since I often become afraid as to what people would think.  I thought that they would think of me as weak if I told the truth.  That Friday though, we held an assembly during Flex.  People could come if they wanted.  It was being held in the gym.  I wanted to go the minute I heard about it and managed to drag two of my friends with me, even though they were reluctant.  I told myself that no matter what, I wouldn’t cry.  They brought out our flag and then began to speak about what had happened.  We watched a video about what happened and saw it up close.  In the background, they played the song “In the Arms” by Sarah McLachlan.  That did it for me.  I began to cry to myself in that dark room and I could tell that others were doing the same, along with one of my friends.  The pictures mixed with that song were too much for me.  We sang afterwards and it truly felt like everyone in the room was sincere when we sang. It was the first time I had actually let my friends or anyone for that matter, see that I, too, could break down and cry.

The day after Wednesday, at lunch, my friends were talking about it, but it’s not what you think.  They were very disrespectful, in my opinion.  They were talking about how it was on all the time on all the news channels and that it was now “old news”.  Do you know how that made me feel?  Me, one of the people who is extremely sentimental and sensitive to the pain of others.  It felt like I could feel the thoughts and sorrows of all the people who had lost someone important.  I felt betrayed and alone as I sat there, wishing that they could have known what it was like.  I was mad, but I hate expressing myself to them, so I sat there, fighting my tears and my urge to scream at them, and I said nothing, out of pure terror and fear of rejection.

I should have said something

(Where were you when the world stopped turning, on that September day?

Were you teaching a class full of innocent children

Or driving down some cold interstate

Did you feel guilty, cause you’re a survivor

In a crowded room did you feel alone

Did you call up your mother and tell her love her

Did you dust off that bible at home)

I remember one day in December, the first snow we had and it was blizarding outside.  I had dance class that night, but decided not to go, but my dad had locked the keys in his car, so we had to drive out anyway.  I went with my mom and driving through that snow was indeed scary.  There were times I thought that we’d end up in the ditch or something like that.  On the way to my dad’s work, I heard this song.  The song “Where were you when the world stopped turning” by Alan Jackson.  I listened to the lyrics to the song and fell in love with it immediately.  I cried again that night, but my mom didn’t notice.  Not many songs have that affect on me, but that’s when I truly realized that this one incident would truly leave a scar on my soul and on my mind for the rest of my life.  Please take the time to understand and truly absorb the lyrics of this song.

(Did you open your eyes and hope it never happened

Close your eyes and not go to sleep

Did you notice the sunset, the first time in ages

Or speak to some stranger on the street

Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow

Go out and buy you a gun

Did you turn off that violent old movie you’re watching

And turn on I Love Lucy reruns

Did you go to a church and hold hands with some strangers

Stand in line and give your own blood

Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family

Thank God you had somebody to love)

A year has passed now and in order to remember what had happened, our schools lined the road.  The high schoolers on one side and the middle schoolers on the other.  The boys took off their hats and we all just stared as a man playing the bagpipes walked down the street playing “Amazing Grace”.  The lyrics played in my head as I heard that beautiful tune and if I hadn’t been surrounded by guys, I might have cried again.  My American History teacher told us that there were 2,500 kids out there.  He said just add 500 more, and that would have been the amount of people who had died on September 11th a year ago.  We watched a video in his class that day and then talked about what we remembered.  He said that people were asking that day, if this meant that they weren’t getting homework.  He said he felt truly sorry for those people who didn’t care, and so do I.  Don’t ever be like that.

(I’m just a singer of simple songs,

I’m not a, real political man

I watch CNN but I’m not sure I could tell you

The difference in a rock and Iran

But I know Jesus and I’ve talked to God

And I remember this from when I was young

Faith, hope, and love are some good things he gave us

And the greatest is love)

I pity those who can’t understand what happened and those who are too proud to cry or even be respectful, like the way they were when we stood outside along the streets.  Some were making fun of this, but that’s because they really are sad, but are too proud or strong to admit it.

But let’s go back to what I said before, about my statement.  We, as in us American’s, needed to open our eyes.  We were walking blindly forward, following what we heard and assumed.  It was like there was a wall in front of us that blocked us from seeing the truth.  This event caused us to open our eyes to the realities and to respect what we have.  We needed to understand that we aren’t safe or hidden from the rest of the world; in fact, we seem to have become a target.  This sad event has caused us to open our eyes and to see the world as it truly is.  We have to appreciate what we have been given and we must always remember this sad day that has left a scar on our country.

(I’m just a singer of simple songs,

I’m not a, real political man

I watch CNN but I’m not sure I could tell you

The difference in a rock and Iran

But I know Jesus and I’ve talked to God

And I remember this from when I was young

Faith, hope, and love are some good things he gave us

And the greatest is love

And the greatest is love

And the greatest is love)

Please don’t get me wrong though.  We must all remember this day, but we cannot live our lives in the past.  Yes, the past will follow us, like a shadow, but we can’t spend our lives watching our shadows on the ground, or else we won’t see the world around us…a beautiful and wonderful world.  We have to look towards our future and stand together to make it worth seeing.  We need to laugh a little, cry a little, love a little…live a little.  We have to live our lives to the fullest extent and enjoy every moment of it.  We have to build our lives and remember the times that brought us together…what made us strong.  This was a wake up call to American’s that we need to live for our feelings and not for our wants.  We were too selfish and self-centered, but that didn’t give them the right to kill innocent people.  Many lives were lost and they all just got up that day, not knowing that this would happen.  They went to their jobs, expecting another routine day, but it was so much more.

Always remember this horrible and eye opening day and live from that point on to its fullest.  Don’t be obsessed with trivial needs and wants, but live for others.  I was asked an important question at the assembly.  They asked me “What makes your life worth saving”?  I think that this is the hardest question I’ve ever had to answer.  This is something we all have to think about.  What would make our lives so worth it, that others would risk their own life to save ours?  Firefighters do that all the time, but what makes us worth saving?  Why are we worth saving?  I still can’t answer this question and I probably will never be able to.  Even to this day I still think about it.  What if that was me in there?  Would it matter?  Of course.  Seeing and experiencing are two different things and I feel sorry for those who experienced it.  My heart and my prayers and hopes as well, all go out to the victoms and I thank the firefighters who risked their very existence to save the lives of complete strangers.  I hope that someday I can give someone a gift as great as a second chance at living…a chance to reflect and to live a little longer.

(Where were you when the world stopped turning,)

So I have just one thing left to tell you, and it’s something that a lot of us need to hear.  There’s only one thing we can do in times like this…in order to honor the lives of all those who died…to let their souls rest in peace…just…live.  Live your lives to their fullest.  I have been doing this all my life.  You never know if when you leave that house in the morning, if you’ll ever make it back, but not many think about that and they shouldn’t worry themselves, but please people and I mean everyone.  Please, just…live.

(On that September…day)

I hope I was able to reach someone out there.  When I thought about this, I was actually in prayer, or more like just talking to God.  It was just the other day actually.  I cried when I thought about it, and there aren’t many who can say they’ve seen me cry.  I hope I was able to make a difference and I’ve learned that I can’t just stay quiet anymore, because I might actually make a difference if I express myself.  The people who died could have made changes in our history.  What if one was destined to find a cure for cancer, or discover something important, or invent a life changing invention.  And now they’re gone.  Please, understand this and please, ask yourself some of these questions.  I know that from now on nothing will beat me.  I’m gonna live each day with a smile on my face and hope that just by being kind and hopeful, that I’ll be able to make a difference.  In this song though, my favorite line would have to be “Did you feel guilty cause you’re a survivor”.  Yes, I do.  My life is no more significant than any of their were, if not less than some of theirs.  I’m just some kid with big dreams and smile on her face, who likes to hide from herself.  Ask yourself that.  “Why them and not me?”  I asked this and hadn’t gotten an answer, but I’ll come up with one.

If any of you are willing to talk to me, then don’t hesitate, cause I’d be happy to talk to any of you.  And remember.  Live people, just live.