September 9, 2002

I did all you told me to

I did all you advised me to

I said, ¡§We need you¡¨

I said, ¡§I love you¡¨

I meant it when I said it

I meant it with all my heart

But my father still left

He just left a few minutes ago

It didn¡¦t work

It wasn¡¦t that painful before

It didn¡¦t touch me this much

It was all a blur

To me before

It seemed so normal

That I didn¡¦t live with a father

I survived, I was happy

The situation was an accepted fact

That I never cared to question

Through this past summer

I just realized

How much I needed him

He is my father

The other half

He may be imperfect

He may be different

But he is still

Part of the family

I really do

Love him

As a father

I really do

Need him

He fulfills

A part

That my mom

Can never do for me

And now I am

A freshman

In high school

Cheryl is a junior

Calvin is with us

We have become

A household of four

Fatherless, shieldless

Protectionless

I hope this will mean something

That someday he¡¦ll be prompted

To come back to this broken family

Perhaps it will someday hit him

Maybe the time has not come

What did I do wrong?

What is there to be said?

I did all you told me to

It didn¡¦t work